I've been out a few times now - to watch movies in Bangalore. They have all been Hindi movies (partially 'cause the people I go with don't enjoy watching English movies, and partially 'cause I'm making up for all those years I didn't go to the movies and watch a Bollywood flick) and inevitably, they have always been bad experiences. Let me start with a list of all the things that happen when you go to see a movie here:
- You will have a hard time getting tickets to a new movie (owing to the very few "multiplexes" in the city).
- You will have a hard time finding parking
- You will pay an obscene amount of money for the services being provided (and I'm not talking about the bad movie here)
- You will be given, what can best be described as black water with sugar, instead of Coke for Rs. 30.
- You will be ushered into the hall by a guy standing at the entrance checking your tickets (this is a bittersweet thing - figure it out)
- You will find your seat, and then notice the amount of dust on it.
- You will soon realize how little leg space there is
- At this point, you will start noticing the absolutely abhorrent state the hall has been kept in - the dust covered curtains, the speakers that look like they were bought in the 19'th century and never touched since and the dirty white screen in front of you
- After noticing all the dirt around you, your attention will move to the really small screen in front of you - and you'll start thinking that the wall of your house is probably bigger than this bitch in front of you
- Finally when the movie starts, your fears of the screen being small will be validated - with you squinting to see everything.
- You will also soon realize that there is some asshole around you who can't keep his/her mouth shut. They will gasp, laugh or scream loudly at the respective scenes, and when they're not doing that, they will keep saying this like "Duh", "I knew that", "He's going to die now" etc. etc.
- The flow of the movie will then be interrupted with an interval (a good or bad thing depending on your perspective - I hate it)
- You will go out to a throng of people in front of the single confectionery stand handing out a glass of "coke" or a box of pop-corns one at a time. God save you if you go to the restroom.
- You somehow get back to your seat with a coke and a box of pop-corns and now that really annoying bitch has added another piece of ammo to his/her arsenal - eating loudly.
- Then there will be some other asshole who will get a call in the middle of the movie and will take it - while still seated in his/her seat and will talk for like 2 minutes before shutting up.
So...what prompted this post - well, I'd gone to see Thoda Pyar thoda magic on Saturday night, and witnessed all this - and it bugged the hell out of me. It would be some solace if the movie was good - but that would be asking too much off of a mainstream Bollywood movie - none are good - for some odd reason, they all think patronizing their audience is a succesfull business decision. I fucking hate it.
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