A few things I've learnt from living with my parents...again

As stated earlier, I've been living with my parents for the last 3 months. A lot has transpired between us during that time - lot's of fights and make ups, bruised egos, defiance etc. Suffice it to say that it's not been easy - if I had to advise somebody if it'd be ok for them to go back to live with their folks after 6 years of not living with them, my answer will be a resounding NO!! Now to be fair, I'm not blaming them for this, it's a classic "it takes two to tango" situation. But all that's not the point of this post.

The subject of this post is what have I realized about myself living with my parents - more precisely, what kind of man I want to be and what kind of women I want to be with. I'll grant that basing these two personality traits solely on observing your parents might not be the best way to go about it, but they certainly do influence you - as they have me.

So, as I've been noticing the interactions between my mom and dad, one particular theme has become very clear - how submissive she is and how authoritative he is. She will bring him a glass of water/milk/coke (but never liquor for some odd reason) when he asks her to, she will arrange the kitchen (which in all honesty, should be her domain) as he likes her to, deal with the help as he wants her to, work or not work as he wants her to, cook as he wants her to - to the chagrin of everyone else, etc. etc. Reverse all that and you'll get a picture of what my dad's like. Even the most mundane stuff, like leaving an empty glass of beer on the side table next to the couch is for some reason unacceptable - as is eating in front of the tv or parking the car facing in instead of facing out or cooking the food a bit spicy or grabbing pickles with your meal - and yes, the list goes on. Now, I am almost certainly painting an exaggerated picture - it's not possible for me with my limited writing skills to paint the perfect picture - but this is the general trend.

Watching all this has made me realize things, if not influence me too. I've never been (at-least I'd like to think so) the kind of guy who likes to tell people how to do things or be told how to do things. It makes me uncomfortable when people ask me if they should do this thing or the other, and outright annoys me when they think they know what I should do. I can't stand people who think they know what's right for me, or ask me 10 times "why" I've done or decided to do something (a disease that plagues both my parents unfortunately). This line of thought, inherently leads me to like decisive people. And that's what I've realized - my ideal woman would be confident, decisive and unwavering. She won't feel the need to ask me what to or not to do. She'll also, hopefully, be the kind of person who would ask me to shut up and get back in my place if I try to interfere. Of-course, this does not mean I don't want her to ask me for suggestions - but that's exactly what I want them to be in her mind - suggestions. Conversely, I want to be the kind of man who will be trusting enough to not have to worry about the decisions my woman is making. Again, this is not to say that I don't want to be involved - I just don't want to be the guy "telling" her what to do. I would hate to become into an incarnation of my dad - thinking I know enough about everything to know what's right for someone else - screw how they feel about it.

Finally, let me say that I do not think their union doesn't work - it works for them. Maybe what I'm looking for is an aberration - it might be why I've been single for most of my life. That said, I'm not ready to settle, not just yet - I still have hope :).