A lifelong fantasy, as yet unfulfilled

Well, I don't know if it has been lifelong or not, but it's been around ever since I hit 13-14 years of age (when I entered my adolescence). I was reading this erotic story (in those days porn videos were hard to come by) where this older woman (if I remember correctly, the guy's mother) takes this guy for her lover. The way the story was written (it was like 7 pages long) and all the gory details which had been laid out were highly fascinating, and ever since, I've had this thing for older women.

Not just older women, but an older woman who sort of takes it upon herself to teach me the ways of sex. I've always fantasized about the first time she asks me if I wanted to see what it was like, and then seen myself, say very shyly and with loads of hesitation "Yes". She goes on to teach me everything there is to know about being a good lay, the ins and outs of the acts, if you will. I had dreamt, for the longest time, that this is how I'd lose my virginity. Not in school, with a woman about my age, but outside of my regular life, with a woman 10-15-20 years older than me. Alas, that never happened. But I still dream of going through this....this act if you will. It still holds the same allure it did 9-10 years ago.

I've never really had a woman in mind who would do this, it's not about that. It's just been about the way it happens - the eroticism of the process. Perhaps, the feeling that it's wrong has also played a part in the excitement (though I don't know why I think it's wrong).


Anyways, I don't know if it's ever going to happen. It might be better if it didn't - the only thing worse than your dreams coming true is if your dreams don't live up to their expectiations.