Found this image via FriendFeed today, and I've got to say, it's very reassuring (and yes, I know it's not an official Obama poster - yet it has that satisfying tone to it). Enjoy it and Believe!!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
A very reassuring image
Found this image via FriendFeed today, and I've got to say, it's very reassuring (and yes, I know it's not an official Obama poster - yet it has that satisfying tone to it). Enjoy it and Believe!!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Blah...
I'm bored, don't have much to do, and can't think of an interesting topic to write about. So here's a brain dump.
I've been sick for the past week - a cold I caught last friday when the power went out at 1 in the morning, leading me in some hot & humid weather, to go take a shower at 2am, followed by me strolling on my balcony for an hour afterwards. The next morning, I woke up to a running nose, blocked sinus' and a sore throat. It got incrementally worse from there on out. I finally recovered enough this thursday to go back to work, only to find that my head hurt in the A/C there. My mother too, fell sick this week. She had to undergo a surgery for an "obstructing hernia". She's better now, but let's just say she gave us a scare for a little bit there. Fortunately, my dad was around and was able to handle things (he was supposed to go to Beijing the night my mom was diagnosed with the problem). There is now some discussion around me and Ayush going to KL when dad has to go to NYC (4'th - 14'th Oct). That might end up happening, in which case I'll have to take even more days off from work.
I've been reading a lot about Sarah Palin and the resurgent McCain campaign. I am a bit scared about how big of a bounce they've got from her selection. Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy was a 5 minute conversation with the average voter. He sure sounds right seeing the kind of reaction Palin is getting. As Matt Damon put it (quiet well, in my opinion) - it all seems like a bad Disney movie - where the hockey/soccer mom suddenly becomes the president. I truly am scared of seeing another Republican administration in power - I honestly do believe that it would be a very bad thing for the US and the entire world.
Back to personal issues, I've been fighting myself, trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing with my time, and life. I'm constantly conflicted about studying for the GRE, paying more attention to work, or working even harder on my project. I want to just go all out on the last of those, but for a myriad of reasons, am unable to yet. The major one, I think is 'cause I'm not getting the backing I feel I need to be able to do so. Support from my parents is luke warm, at best - and realistically, I don't expect more from them. But then there's R (he doesn't want his name out in the open) who has these bursts where all he'll discuss is how we grow this idea, and then completely stop talking about it for long periods of time (like we haven't spoken about any of this for the past 2 weeks). I'm trying to figure out if I think I can do this alone - but so far, I don't think I can. It's not that I need someone to help me write the code - that I'm confident I can do. It's that, I need someone who can prop me up - who has more confidence than I do in me (and in themselve). I also want to work with smart people, and I have always counted R as one of them - somebody smarter than me, whom I can learn a lot from. I guess, all I can do is hope things work out, but keep a back-up plan in case they don't. I honestly think I've come too far to give up now - I see this as my way out of the mundane life that is working for a company. I want to do my own thing - create something new - innovate - help people in their regular lives, and along the way, get some fulfillment.
I've been sick for the past week - a cold I caught last friday when the power went out at 1 in the morning, leading me in some hot & humid weather, to go take a shower at 2am, followed by me strolling on my balcony for an hour afterwards. The next morning, I woke up to a running nose, blocked sinus' and a sore throat. It got incrementally worse from there on out. I finally recovered enough this thursday to go back to work, only to find that my head hurt in the A/C there. My mother too, fell sick this week. She had to undergo a surgery for an "obstructing hernia". She's better now, but let's just say she gave us a scare for a little bit there. Fortunately, my dad was around and was able to handle things (he was supposed to go to Beijing the night my mom was diagnosed with the problem). There is now some discussion around me and Ayush going to KL when dad has to go to NYC (4'th - 14'th Oct). That might end up happening, in which case I'll have to take even more days off from work.
I've been reading a lot about Sarah Palin and the resurgent McCain campaign. I am a bit scared about how big of a bounce they've got from her selection. Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy was a 5 minute conversation with the average voter. He sure sounds right seeing the kind of reaction Palin is getting. As Matt Damon put it (quiet well, in my opinion) - it all seems like a bad Disney movie - where the hockey/soccer mom suddenly becomes the president. I truly am scared of seeing another Republican administration in power - I honestly do believe that it would be a very bad thing for the US and the entire world.
Back to personal issues, I've been fighting myself, trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing with my time, and life. I'm constantly conflicted about studying for the GRE, paying more attention to work, or working even harder on my project. I want to just go all out on the last of those, but for a myriad of reasons, am unable to yet. The major one, I think is 'cause I'm not getting the backing I feel I need to be able to do so. Support from my parents is luke warm, at best - and realistically, I don't expect more from them. But then there's R (he doesn't want his name out in the open) who has these bursts where all he'll discuss is how we grow this idea, and then completely stop talking about it for long periods of time (like we haven't spoken about any of this for the past 2 weeks). I'm trying to figure out if I think I can do this alone - but so far, I don't think I can. It's not that I need someone to help me write the code - that I'm confident I can do. It's that, I need someone who can prop me up - who has more confidence than I do in me (and in themselve). I also want to work with smart people, and I have always counted R as one of them - somebody smarter than me, whom I can learn a lot from. I guess, all I can do is hope things work out, but keep a back-up plan in case they don't. I honestly think I've come too far to give up now - I see this as my way out of the mundane life that is working for a company. I want to do my own thing - create something new - innovate - help people in their regular lives, and along the way, get some fulfillment.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Why I use vim!!
It's been a while - life and other things have kept me busy. Anyways, what better way to return than to write about something I have not talked much about in the past - technology.
So, coding is my profession - I enjoy coding - nay - love it (given the right circumstances). And one of the biggest weapons in a coder's arsenal is his/her IDE. Well, mine is vim (vi improved). I have been using vim on and off for a few years now - but mainly as a text editor. I had never considered using it as my main development tool until recently (2-3 months back). Boy was I missing out. I've been using it to write everything from Python to HTML/Javascript now and been loving every bit of it.
The main (and rather obvious) reason is it's amazing ability to make text editing fast. Visual mode is the best invention mankind has made since the wheel. It allows me to remove and add text about as fast (maybe even faster) as I can think of doing it. Want a word gone - done. Want a line gone - done. Want to replace a line - line gone, cursor at beginning of line - done. I can keep going on. Gone are the days when you have to use your mouse to select a word, or a whole line. w,b,j,k,h,l allow me to move around in lesser time than it would take me to move my hand off the keyboard, onto the mouse, find the pointer, bring it down to the text I need gone, select the whole thing and hit delete. In-fact, now when I edit text in a browser (like this blogger textbox for example), I find it tedious to delete things, or add things.
But more than that, it's ability to double up as a IDE is what has me truly amazed. The amazing set of plugins around it (for example snippetsEmu) make it a breeze for me to write my code and get the right text in the right place ASAP. Other things like omnicompletion, code highlighting, line numbering, syntax checkers, class definitions etc. are icing on the cake. And the biggest win - it works on all 3 of my development platforms (Win, Max and Linux - yes I work on all 3). Setting it up on my windows machine took some doing (had to compile vim from source) but once it was done, everything worked exactly how it worked on my other machines. No more switching between IDE's and no more learning new commands (thanks, but no thanks, TextMate).
I do have a couple of gripes though - I would like to see some straighforward way to refactor my code and I would like to see integration with my vcs (git). I have tried out a plugin for the latter, but couldn't get it working within the 10 minutes I gave it a shot for.
In anycase, vim is an amazing text editor/IDE and anybody using anything else (with the exception of Eclipse for Java) should consider switching. I haven't tried Emacs, but after learning vim, I don't see any value in it - I've got all I need (and more).
So, coding is my profession - I enjoy coding - nay - love it (given the right circumstances). And one of the biggest weapons in a coder's arsenal is his/her IDE. Well, mine is vim (vi improved). I have been using vim on and off for a few years now - but mainly as a text editor. I had never considered using it as my main development tool until recently (2-3 months back). Boy was I missing out. I've been using it to write everything from Python to HTML/Javascript now and been loving every bit of it.
The main (and rather obvious) reason is it's amazing ability to make text editing fast. Visual mode is the best invention mankind has made since the wheel. It allows me to remove and add text about as fast (maybe even faster) as I can think of doing it. Want a word gone - done. Want a line gone - done. Want to replace a line - line gone, cursor at beginning of line - done. I can keep going on. Gone are the days when you have to use your mouse to select a word, or a whole line. w,b,j,k,h,l allow me to move around in lesser time than it would take me to move my hand off the keyboard, onto the mouse, find the pointer, bring it down to the text I need gone, select the whole thing and hit delete. In-fact, now when I edit text in a browser (like this blogger textbox for example), I find it tedious to delete things, or add things.
But more than that, it's ability to double up as a IDE is what has me truly amazed. The amazing set of plugins around it (for example snippetsEmu) make it a breeze for me to write my code and get the right text in the right place ASAP. Other things like omnicompletion, code highlighting, line numbering, syntax checkers, class definitions etc. are icing on the cake. And the biggest win - it works on all 3 of my development platforms (Win, Max and Linux - yes I work on all 3). Setting it up on my windows machine took some doing (had to compile vim from source) but once it was done, everything worked exactly how it worked on my other machines. No more switching between IDE's and no more learning new commands (thanks, but no thanks, TextMate).
I do have a couple of gripes though - I would like to see some straighforward way to refactor my code and I would like to see integration with my vcs (git). I have tried out a plugin for the latter, but couldn't get it working within the 10 minutes I gave it a shot for.
In anycase, vim is an amazing text editor/IDE and anybody using anything else (with the exception of Eclipse for Java) should consider switching. I haven't tried Emacs, but after learning vim, I don't see any value in it - I've got all I need (and more).
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Why NYC is my favorite city on this planet
I have often said, and been rebuked for saying, that the Big Apple is my favorite city on this planet. People often ask me why that is so, and I'm never able to give a wholly convincing argument - so here is an attempt in that direction.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that while I have lived in NYC for upto 3 weeks at a go, most of my visits have involved me living there for not longer than 2-3 days - always as a tourist. Mileage may vary for the people who have actually lived in the city.
To understand my undying love for NYC, we must go all the way back to the summer of '95. This was the first time I had left India - and guess which city I went to first?? I had been warned by my dad before arriving there that the place was just as dirty as Delhi and that I might indeed be disappointed once I got there. But, I wasn't. I remember falling in love with it during our drive back from JFK. I remember peeping out the window of our cab, admiring the huge glass buildings, the no. of cars on the roads, the long bridge with two levels (I think) that we were driving on. Imagine me as Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2 - when he first arrives in the city riding in on a cab. I was him - and I was loving every moment of it. The 3 weeks we spent there were just as much fun too. I don't remember spending much time with my dad (he was constantly at work), but my mother, brother and me had one of the best vacations I remember. We must have walked more miles in those 3 weeks than we did our entire lives before then. We covered everything from Central Park to the Wall Street to liberty island. We had coke in cans, and nice nike shoes, and a new remote controlled car. We had the nice weather (coming from Delhi in the summer - you can imagine), the friendly people (I remember dropping my coke in a McD's and the manager giving me a new one - on the house), the diversity of faces, the subways, the buses, the yellow cabs, the ferries to Liberty and Ellis island, the Empire State Building, the New York Style pizza etc. etc.
That trip was where it all started, but by no means is it the only source of love for that city. My next visit to the city came once I had moved to the states for college. Me and a few friends went on a crazy road trip our first spring break at UT. We lived in the city for 3 days and then went up to Boston. But those 3 days were amazing too - we walked up to Central Park and down to the Wall Street. We saw the Empire state building and the City Hall. We walked through the village and China Town. We saw our first apple store across from the NYU. I experienced our first police stop in the city. I saw my first snow fall in the US there.
I went there a couple more times too - when my folks had come to my brothers college for all of us to meet up, or me and my friends going there for new year's '07 (that was one crazy night). And then finally, before I left the US to come back to India, in Oct '07. NYC was my last stop - my final encore - the last city I was in, in the country I had called home for the past 5 years. That trip was memorable too (for many good and some not-so-good reasons). But what I remember most, was my drive to the airport from my cousins dorm room. There was nobody riding with me - and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I was taking in the city, the country, the people - one last time - not knowing when I would be back. And I remembered then, my first time driving into the city - only this time the buildings were getting smaller, not bigger.
However I might describe my feelings for NYC, most people won't understand it - and I don't expect them to. It is my favorite city in the world for personal reasons - they all have theirs. All I want to say is this - go visit NYC, live there for a bit, walk it's streets, talk to the people there, eat the pizza there, ride on the subway there. Then maybe you might fall in love with the city, just as I have.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that while I have lived in NYC for upto 3 weeks at a go, most of my visits have involved me living there for not longer than 2-3 days - always as a tourist. Mileage may vary for the people who have actually lived in the city.
To understand my undying love for NYC, we must go all the way back to the summer of '95. This was the first time I had left India - and guess which city I went to first?? I had been warned by my dad before arriving there that the place was just as dirty as Delhi and that I might indeed be disappointed once I got there. But, I wasn't. I remember falling in love with it during our drive back from JFK. I remember peeping out the window of our cab, admiring the huge glass buildings, the no. of cars on the roads, the long bridge with two levels (I think) that we were driving on. Imagine me as Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2 - when he first arrives in the city riding in on a cab. I was him - and I was loving every moment of it. The 3 weeks we spent there were just as much fun too. I don't remember spending much time with my dad (he was constantly at work), but my mother, brother and me had one of the best vacations I remember. We must have walked more miles in those 3 weeks than we did our entire lives before then. We covered everything from Central Park to the Wall Street to liberty island. We had coke in cans, and nice nike shoes, and a new remote controlled car. We had the nice weather (coming from Delhi in the summer - you can imagine), the friendly people (I remember dropping my coke in a McD's and the manager giving me a new one - on the house), the diversity of faces, the subways, the buses, the yellow cabs, the ferries to Liberty and Ellis island, the Empire State Building, the New York Style pizza etc. etc.
That trip was where it all started, but by no means is it the only source of love for that city. My next visit to the city came once I had moved to the states for college. Me and a few friends went on a crazy road trip our first spring break at UT. We lived in the city for 3 days and then went up to Boston. But those 3 days were amazing too - we walked up to Central Park and down to the Wall Street. We saw the Empire state building and the City Hall. We walked through the village and China Town. We saw our first apple store across from the NYU. I experienced our first police stop in the city. I saw my first snow fall in the US there.
I went there a couple more times too - when my folks had come to my brothers college for all of us to meet up, or me and my friends going there for new year's '07 (that was one crazy night). And then finally, before I left the US to come back to India, in Oct '07. NYC was my last stop - my final encore - the last city I was in, in the country I had called home for the past 5 years. That trip was memorable too (for many good and some not-so-good reasons). But what I remember most, was my drive to the airport from my cousins dorm room. There was nobody riding with me - and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I was taking in the city, the country, the people - one last time - not knowing when I would be back. And I remembered then, my first time driving into the city - only this time the buildings were getting smaller, not bigger.
However I might describe my feelings for NYC, most people won't understand it - and I don't expect them to. It is my favorite city in the world for personal reasons - they all have theirs. All I want to say is this - go visit NYC, live there for a bit, walk it's streets, talk to the people there, eat the pizza there, ride on the subway there. Then maybe you might fall in love with the city, just as I have.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Thoughts: The parent-child relationship
I've often found myself wondering (after talks with my folks/friends/co-workers, or after watching a movie/tv-show) about the kind of relationship a parent and child should share. Here are some thoughts.
Above all, I see this relationship as one of the few, one-way relationships a person has in his/her life - the road going from the parents and to the kids. Let me explain.
I think when a couple decides to have a child, they consciously make the decision that they are going to bring someone into this world, take care of it, groom it, have good times with it, enjoy it's company et al. Now, having made that decision, they also need to realize that it'll be their job to keep a watchful eye on them, keep 'em out of trouble, help them when they do get into trouble and generally give them everything they need and (hopefully) most of what they want. This is because you are their parents, their creators (humor me) if you will.
It is also a parent's responsibility to not burden a child with his/her expectations. You didn't create an object that you can return or discard if it didn't do what you thought it was supposed to do - NO! You had a child - another human being - who needs to make his/her own decision about their life - about how they want to live it. The child can have expectations of his/her parents (see last paragraph) but it should never go the other way round. And I'm not talking about the small stuff here - I speak of the whoppers - religious expectations, career expectations, marriage expectations, grandkid expectations and so on. Parents should never impose these on their kids - and the reason for this is quiet straightforward to my eye - it will stop your child from becoming who he can, but more importatnly, who he wants to be. And nothing, in my opinion, is a greater crime than stopping somebody from leading their life their way (there are certain exceptions).
I have often seen parents demand high ranks in school/college, a good job - an expectation to stick to the basics. They will try to impose their experiences onto you - not realising that there is at-least a generations difference between them and you - that their experiences, while useful, will not necessarily be the same as yours, and that you have the option (and might I say obligation) to experience them for yourself.
Now, I can't say children are completely absolved of any responsibilities towards their parents, but the flow is so one-sided (or at-least should be) that it's hard to see the other end of it.
So, to surmise, parents need to back off with their demands of their children - while they might have his/her best in their mind, they need to realize that they are not perfect at guessing what is good or bad for someone - that decision, in almost all cases, should be left to the person being talked about, to decide for them self.
Above all, I see this relationship as one of the few, one-way relationships a person has in his/her life - the road going from the parents and to the kids. Let me explain.
I think when a couple decides to have a child, they consciously make the decision that they are going to bring someone into this world, take care of it, groom it, have good times with it, enjoy it's company et al. Now, having made that decision, they also need to realize that it'll be their job to keep a watchful eye on them, keep 'em out of trouble, help them when they do get into trouble and generally give them everything they need and (hopefully) most of what they want. This is because you are their parents, their creators (humor me) if you will.
It is also a parent's responsibility to not burden a child with his/her expectations. You didn't create an object that you can return or discard if it didn't do what you thought it was supposed to do - NO! You had a child - another human being - who needs to make his/her own decision about their life - about how they want to live it. The child can have expectations of his/her parents (see last paragraph) but it should never go the other way round. And I'm not talking about the small stuff here - I speak of the whoppers - religious expectations, career expectations, marriage expectations, grandkid expectations and so on. Parents should never impose these on their kids - and the reason for this is quiet straightforward to my eye - it will stop your child from becoming who he can, but more importatnly, who he wants to be. And nothing, in my opinion, is a greater crime than stopping somebody from leading their life their way (there are certain exceptions).
I have often seen parents demand high ranks in school/college, a good job - an expectation to stick to the basics. They will try to impose their experiences onto you - not realising that there is at-least a generations difference between them and you - that their experiences, while useful, will not necessarily be the same as yours, and that you have the option (and might I say obligation) to experience them for yourself.
Now, I can't say children are completely absolved of any responsibilities towards their parents, but the flow is so one-sided (or at-least should be) that it's hard to see the other end of it.
So, to surmise, parents need to back off with their demands of their children - while they might have his/her best in their mind, they need to realize that they are not perfect at guessing what is good or bad for someone - that decision, in almost all cases, should be left to the person being talked about, to decide for them self.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
My movie going experiences in Bangalore...
In my last post, I'd said that there will be more about watching movies in India - well here it is.
I've been out a few times now - to watch movies in Bangalore. They have all been Hindi movies (partially 'cause the people I go with don't enjoy watching English movies, and partially 'cause I'm making up for all those years I didn't go to the movies and watch a Bollywood flick) and inevitably, they have always been bad experiences. Let me start with a list of all the things that happen when you go to see a movie here:
So...what prompted this post - well, I'd gone to see Thoda Pyar thoda magic on Saturday night, and witnessed all this - and it bugged the hell out of me. It would be some solace if the movie was good - but that would be asking too much off of a mainstream Bollywood movie - none are good - for some odd reason, they all think patronizing their audience is a succesfull business decision. I fucking hate it.
I've been out a few times now - to watch movies in Bangalore. They have all been Hindi movies (partially 'cause the people I go with don't enjoy watching English movies, and partially 'cause I'm making up for all those years I didn't go to the movies and watch a Bollywood flick) and inevitably, they have always been bad experiences. Let me start with a list of all the things that happen when you go to see a movie here:
- You will have a hard time getting tickets to a new movie (owing to the very few "multiplexes" in the city).
- You will have a hard time finding parking
- You will pay an obscene amount of money for the services being provided (and I'm not talking about the bad movie here)
- You will be given, what can best be described as black water with sugar, instead of Coke for Rs. 30.
- You will be ushered into the hall by a guy standing at the entrance checking your tickets (this is a bittersweet thing - figure it out)
- You will find your seat, and then notice the amount of dust on it.
- You will soon realize how little leg space there is
- At this point, you will start noticing the absolutely abhorrent state the hall has been kept in - the dust covered curtains, the speakers that look like they were bought in the 19'th century and never touched since and the dirty white screen in front of you
- After noticing all the dirt around you, your attention will move to the really small screen in front of you - and you'll start thinking that the wall of your house is probably bigger than this bitch in front of you
- Finally when the movie starts, your fears of the screen being small will be validated - with you squinting to see everything.
- You will also soon realize that there is some asshole around you who can't keep his/her mouth shut. They will gasp, laugh or scream loudly at the respective scenes, and when they're not doing that, they will keep saying this like "Duh", "I knew that", "He's going to die now" etc. etc.
- The flow of the movie will then be interrupted with an interval (a good or bad thing depending on your perspective - I hate it)
- You will go out to a throng of people in front of the single confectionery stand handing out a glass of "coke" or a box of pop-corns one at a time. God save you if you go to the restroom.
- You somehow get back to your seat with a coke and a box of pop-corns and now that really annoying bitch has added another piece of ammo to his/her arsenal - eating loudly.
- Then there will be some other asshole who will get a call in the middle of the movie and will take it - while still seated in his/her seat and will talk for like 2 minutes before shutting up.
So...what prompted this post - well, I'd gone to see Thoda Pyar thoda magic on Saturday night, and witnessed all this - and it bugged the hell out of me. It would be some solace if the movie was good - but that would be asking too much off of a mainstream Bollywood movie - none are good - for some odd reason, they all think patronizing their audience is a succesfull business decision. I fucking hate it.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I miss...
I miss...
- Having a decent internet connection
- Driving on roads that didn't have potholes every 2 feet
- Going on long, soothing, scenic drives in the middle of the night
- Driving a car that made me feel like it was fun to drive one (and I mean the automatic/manual thing)
- Having a nice place all of my own
- Watching HBO shows well past midnight - ON TV!!
- Shooting the breeze with co-workers
- Sitting in a bar, smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer, watching the NBA playoffs
- The Beer:
- Gusiness from a TAP...aah
- Blackjack
- Heineken
- Red Stripe
- Carlsberg
- fuck it - Shiner too
- Going out to eat to various joints serving up different cuisines
- The Food:
- Masaman Curry at Madam Mam's
- Anything from Hoa Hoa
- Stir Fry from Fire Wok
- Burrito's from Chipotle
- various shit from Taco Bell
- Sandwiches from Jimmy Johns (oh my god!!!)
- Portabello Mushroom sandwhich from NXNW
- Pizza from Dominos (believe it)
- The middle eastern food
- The occasional Sushi/Steak
- The grocery stores which had everything I needed under one roof
- The people who were always helpful
- Customer service which actually served the customer
- Company Websites that were taken seriously
- Public servants who actually did their jobs
- Cheap(er) gas
- An amazing movie going experience (despite the movie):
- The Air conditioned halls
- People who'd have enough courtesy to stop talking once the trailers started rolling, and definitely stop by the time the movie started
- People who had the courtesy to not take phone calls while still in the Hall
- Few movies that actually left you fulfilled coming out the hall
- (to be continued...)
- Electronics stores which stocked more than just household appliances
- Not having to pay 1/3'rd of my pay on rent
Monday, June 23, 2008
Feeling down...
Been feeling down all day. Not sure why. I had a nice weekend, didn't have all that bad a work-day, and yet I can't help but feel sad and depressed.
During this past weekend, a thought passed my mind. I need to start preparing for my GRE, and I need to invest more time/energy in the side project I'm doing. I can't possibly do both of these at the same time - both of them will take up a huge amount of time. So, I thought, why not quit my job and pursue these two?? But no matter what I do, I can't find the balls I need to actually take that leap of faith. I 'm unable to think out of the box here, and hence am coming up with all kinds of rationalizations - like if I continue to work on my side project, and it's succesfull, my college applications will look a whole lot better, that I don't really need to go to a master's school, everything I need to learn, I can learn on my own etc. etc. Some of these do make sense to me too, but I would still like to prove to myself that I have the faith, the ambition, the resolve and the balls to take that step - quit my job with nothing to fall back on, but I can't.
Other things have been bothering me too - lack of good/close friends, difficulty of dealing with everyday life in India, my aspirations to travel and all that. I don't know what's eating me today, but what I do know is, I need it to go away soon. I can't have this shit hanging over my head.
During this past weekend, a thought passed my mind. I need to start preparing for my GRE, and I need to invest more time/energy in the side project I'm doing. I can't possibly do both of these at the same time - both of them will take up a huge amount of time. So, I thought, why not quit my job and pursue these two?? But no matter what I do, I can't find the balls I need to actually take that leap of faith. I 'm unable to think out of the box here, and hence am coming up with all kinds of rationalizations - like if I continue to work on my side project, and it's succesfull, my college applications will look a whole lot better, that I don't really need to go to a master's school, everything I need to learn, I can learn on my own etc. etc. Some of these do make sense to me too, but I would still like to prove to myself that I have the faith, the ambition, the resolve and the balls to take that step - quit my job with nothing to fall back on, but I can't.
Other things have been bothering me too - lack of good/close friends, difficulty of dealing with everyday life in India, my aspirations to travel and all that. I don't know what's eating me today, but what I do know is, I need it to go away soon. I can't have this shit hanging over my head.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Doing some of the things I enjoy doing
Today, after a long while, I did one of the things I used to (and apparently still do) enjoy doing - watching back-to-back episodes of TV shows. The day started off with a complete download of Season 3 of Weeds followed up by Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Now, I used to do something similar during my unemployment days immediately following graduation, and while those days (or should I say nights) were much more fulfilling (what with all the catching up that needed to be done with regards to The Sopranos and The West Wing), I had a bunch of fun today too. It's just one of those stupid, useless, waste-of-time things everyone likes to do - I just maybe push it to the extreme :). I remember that during those aforementioned days, I used to be nocturnal - stay up all night, go to bed at about 10am, get up around 6pm. Those two months were some of the most fun of my life.
Anyways, so watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl made me realize something - perhaps some of the rigidness in Indian Society is a backdraft from the English Society. I mean I would have never guessed somebody could be so uptight about having sex with a hooker in today's day and age. I mean sure, a man needs to be taken care of and all that, but to ensure that your hair is done just right, paint yourself with enough make-up to make the lady in the Statue of Liberty look not-ugly, do the bed sheets just right, carry 10 condoms with you everywhere you go (ok, this I can reconcile with) etc. etc. seems like something only the English can do. But that's not all. Watching the show (and I have to admit, this is one of the first British TV shows I have watched), I did get a sense of express superiority by the leading protagonist - she kept mentioning the fact that she was educated, she was "high class", expensive, had done her A-levels in this and that et al. Just made me feel that some of the pride Indian folks feel to in such superficial arenas comes from the fact that our rulers had a similar bend of mind. No wonder we are still stuck with so many of the UK's mistakes - when we can't even fix this one.
I realize that I'm not make a whole lot of sense - it's 3am here so excuse me for that - but I just thought I'd note these thoughts down.
Anyways, so watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl made me realize something - perhaps some of the rigidness in Indian Society is a backdraft from the English Society. I mean I would have never guessed somebody could be so uptight about having sex with a hooker in today's day and age. I mean sure, a man needs to be taken care of and all that, but to ensure that your hair is done just right, paint yourself with enough make-up to make the lady in the Statue of Liberty look not-ugly, do the bed sheets just right, carry 10 condoms with you everywhere you go (ok, this I can reconcile with) etc. etc. seems like something only the English can do. But that's not all. Watching the show (and I have to admit, this is one of the first British TV shows I have watched), I did get a sense of express superiority by the leading protagonist - she kept mentioning the fact that she was educated, she was "high class", expensive, had done her A-levels in this and that et al. Just made me feel that some of the pride Indian folks feel to in such superficial arenas comes from the fact that our rulers had a similar bend of mind. No wonder we are still stuck with so many of the UK's mistakes - when we can't even fix this one.
I realize that I'm not make a whole lot of sense - it's 3am here so excuse me for that - but I just thought I'd note these thoughts down.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Of scary incidents and the ensuing revelations
So, my cousin met with an accident last weekend. He had got out his car and was crossing the street when a biker hit him and then dragged him along the road for a bit. He suffered a broken collar bone, had to get 10 stitches on his head and can't eat solid food (due to some torn muscles in his mouth/jaw) for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, his wife and parents-in-law were with him during this incident and were able to rush him to a nearby hospital. I got the call a couple hours after the incident and had a pretty terrified drive up to the place. Meeting with my sister-in-law, whose clothes were drenched in blood, was a pretty scary moment - I was praying at that point that nothing too bad had happened. Fortunately, my fears were alleviated as I entered his room - he seemed to be ok (besides the arm in a sling and a bandage going across his head) and continues to improve.
This was, however, a scary revelation for me. I guess I've always been scared about having an accident in India - emergency health care isn't all that good here. But this incident sort of brought those fears to the fore. I realised that if I ever have an accident like this, in most probabilities, I won't have anyone with me to look after me, especially in the moments immediately following the event. There will of-course be on-lookers and good samaritans, but it's still scary to me that I will have to rely on them in such circumstances.
I had similar thoughts in the U.S., but I used to feel some amount of comfort knowing there were friends around to help out - Dada and Deebu were around. And if not them, then co-workers. I, for some odd reason, do not feel as comfortable in Bangalore - I have friends here, fuck, I have family here, and yet I'm anxious about ever being in a similar situation.
I guess all I can do is be vigilant, and hope there's someone around in my need of hour.
This was, however, a scary revelation for me. I guess I've always been scared about having an accident in India - emergency health care isn't all that good here. But this incident sort of brought those fears to the fore. I realised that if I ever have an accident like this, in most probabilities, I won't have anyone with me to look after me, especially in the moments immediately following the event. There will of-course be on-lookers and good samaritans, but it's still scary to me that I will have to rely on them in such circumstances.
I had similar thoughts in the U.S., but I used to feel some amount of comfort knowing there were friends around to help out - Dada and Deebu were around. And if not them, then co-workers. I, for some odd reason, do not feel as comfortable in Bangalore - I have friends here, fuck, I have family here, and yet I'm anxious about ever being in a similar situation.
I guess all I can do is be vigilant, and hope there's someone around in my need of hour.
Friday, June 6, 2008
About that trip to Malaysia
So, I got back last Sunday from a week's trip to Malaysia. It was an interesting trip - started with a thunder, ended with a whimper.
We reached on Saturday, and left for a beach resort in the South China Sea on Sunday (early Sunday morning). The beach and it's surroundings were everything I had imagined - clear blue water, amazing coral reefs, relaxing atmosphere, not too crowded and good food. A new thing I learned/did while there was snorkeling - took me a few tries to get the hang of it, but once I did, it was one of the most fun, exciting and interesting things I have ever done. Seeing those beautiful corals, and swimming among the fish like you were one of them was truly amazing.
A side effect of the water, or fish, or corals or the sun (take your pick) was that I had a pretty bad allergic reaction/sun-burn on my last day there. I had weird looking boils all over my face and down my back - which made me look like the second coming of Frankenstein. I visited the doctor on our arrival back to KL who gave me a couple of pills and some gel to apply to the affected spots. They cleared up in a couple days, but for that time, I had locked myself in the house - too conscious to go out - even to the local grocery store.
So anyways, the trip, up until Tuesday evening was god fun. Then came family - first my mother's sister, and then my cousin sister (with 2/3 of her kids in tow). Their arrival played a bit of party pooper. I guess meeting them after all this time was fun too - but I think I would have enjoyed it more had we been alone - just for four of us. We didn't do much after Tuesday - some shopping, some sightseeing, some talking and then some more shopping. Anyways, it was a pretty long trip (I was there for a total of 9 days) so I guess I couldn't have expected all those days to be as rosy as the first few.
One of the things that I was looking forward to the most was seeing my brother after a while. I had this notion (perhaps misguided) that we'd be the same as we were back in Austin - when he was living w/ me for a couple of months. That didn't end up happening. We were squabbling often, didn't talk all that much, I was regularly pissed at him and in general was not enjoying this time together as much as I did our time in Austin. Perhaps that notion that our relationship had changed was wrong - or maybe I was just looking at it through rose tinted glasses - either way, I was hoping for a ecstatic reunion, but it ended up being less than that.
Well, in anycase, the trip was an overall success - it was nice having all 4 of us together, after quiet a long time - and given the prospect that it'll probably be just as long before we are together again, I guess it was one to cherish.
We reached on Saturday, and left for a beach resort in the South China Sea on Sunday (early Sunday morning). The beach and it's surroundings were everything I had imagined - clear blue water, amazing coral reefs, relaxing atmosphere, not too crowded and good food. A new thing I learned/did while there was snorkeling - took me a few tries to get the hang of it, but once I did, it was one of the most fun, exciting and interesting things I have ever done. Seeing those beautiful corals, and swimming among the fish like you were one of them was truly amazing.
A side effect of the water, or fish, or corals or the sun (take your pick) was that I had a pretty bad allergic reaction/sun-burn on my last day there. I had weird looking boils all over my face and down my back - which made me look like the second coming of Frankenstein. I visited the doctor on our arrival back to KL who gave me a couple of pills and some gel to apply to the affected spots. They cleared up in a couple days, but for that time, I had locked myself in the house - too conscious to go out - even to the local grocery store.
So anyways, the trip, up until Tuesday evening was god fun. Then came family - first my mother's sister, and then my cousin sister (with 2/3 of her kids in tow). Their arrival played a bit of party pooper. I guess meeting them after all this time was fun too - but I think I would have enjoyed it more had we been alone - just for four of us. We didn't do much after Tuesday - some shopping, some sightseeing, some talking and then some more shopping. Anyways, it was a pretty long trip (I was there for a total of 9 days) so I guess I couldn't have expected all those days to be as rosy as the first few.
One of the things that I was looking forward to the most was seeing my brother after a while. I had this notion (perhaps misguided) that we'd be the same as we were back in Austin - when he was living w/ me for a couple of months. That didn't end up happening. We were squabbling often, didn't talk all that much, I was regularly pissed at him and in general was not enjoying this time together as much as I did our time in Austin. Perhaps that notion that our relationship had changed was wrong - or maybe I was just looking at it through rose tinted glasses - either way, I was hoping for a ecstatic reunion, but it ended up being less than that.
Well, in anycase, the trip was an overall success - it was nice having all 4 of us together, after quiet a long time - and given the prospect that it'll probably be just as long before we are together again, I guess it was one to cherish.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
So...things have been happening
Well, not really. Things have been pretty much the same since my last post - work, home, sleep and work again. Not to say I'm a workaholic - it's just that I don't have much else to do. Well, that's not exactly true either, but I'm being a bit lazy about working on something I thought up during my trip to Ooty.
Another thing in the motions is Ayush and mines' trip to KL. It's our mother's 50'th birthday on the coming Sunday, so we both reach there on Saturday morning (there were no convenient flights reaching KL on Sunday morning). Sshhh about that though - it's supposed to be a surprise. So, anyways, we reach there on Saturday and will hopefully go out somewhere (papa's supposed to be planning something). Then family (my sister with 2 of her 3 kinds, and my aunt) arrive, rather un-fortuitously on Wednesday. That's a whole other story that I'd rather not get into.
So, this whole trip thing has got me excited (what's new right??). But what's odd is that the source (well on an existential level anyways) of this happiness is different than usual. Usually, I'm just happy about getting away from wherever I am. Getting a break from the status quo - the daily routine. But this time around, I'm actually happy about being and meeting with my folks and my brother. That to me is very abnormal - these things have never really excited me, made me look forward to the events with great anticipation, as I am doing now. I guess my co-worker Ravi put it best - we realise that we derive pleasure from sources we didn't know existed, as we grow older.
Anyways, that's for this post - not much to talk about - but there you have it.
Another thing in the motions is Ayush and mines' trip to KL. It's our mother's 50'th birthday on the coming Sunday, so we both reach there on Saturday morning (there were no convenient flights reaching KL on Sunday morning). Sshhh about that though - it's supposed to be a surprise. So, anyways, we reach there on Saturday and will hopefully go out somewhere (papa's supposed to be planning something). Then family (my sister with 2 of her 3 kinds, and my aunt) arrive, rather un-fortuitously on Wednesday. That's a whole other story that I'd rather not get into.
So, this whole trip thing has got me excited (what's new right??). But what's odd is that the source (well on an existential level anyways) of this happiness is different than usual. Usually, I'm just happy about getting away from wherever I am. Getting a break from the status quo - the daily routine. But this time around, I'm actually happy about being and meeting with my folks and my brother. That to me is very abnormal - these things have never really excited me, made me look forward to the events with great anticipation, as I am doing now. I guess my co-worker Ravi put it best - we realise that we derive pleasure from sources we didn't know existed, as we grow older.
Anyways, that's for this post - not much to talk about - but there you have it.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Pardonnez moi for the interruption
So, excuse me for the absence. I don't have internet at home (anymore) and since that was where most blogging was done, things have been slow here. Hopefully this should be remedied soon (I've been told I'll get my connection sometime this week).
The trip was REAL fun. We ended up going to Ooty and even though the first night was a wash (we ended up getting ripped off for INR 3000 for a room that would otherwise not have fetched INR 500 - freaking peak season time), the rest of the days were awesome. We ended up driving through some of the best roads (views wise) I have driven on - walked through tea gardens, lived on a step hill overlooking a valley et al. Real fun.
The highlight of the trip was that I got an idea to work on something - which has been in action since I have returned - and could might be the reason why blogging has been slow too.
Anyways, hopefully once I get a connection at home, things will return back to normal. In the meantime, some pics from the trip (the ones taken from my phone) are available here.
The trip was REAL fun. We ended up going to Ooty and even though the first night was a wash (we ended up getting ripped off for INR 3000 for a room that would otherwise not have fetched INR 500 - freaking peak season time), the rest of the days were awesome. We ended up driving through some of the best roads (views wise) I have driven on - walked through tea gardens, lived on a step hill overlooking a valley et al. Real fun.
The highlight of the trip was that I got an idea to work on something - which has been in action since I have returned - and could might be the reason why blogging has been slow too.
Anyways, hopefully once I get a connection at home, things will return back to normal. In the meantime, some pics from the trip (the ones taken from my phone) are available here.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Been a long week
And it's only half over yet. It was the week when one of the work's migration projects went live, demos were made, and my boss took off to greener pastures.
Anyways, I ain't complaining. I had shit to do :) - and I enjoyed doing it. Now comes a long weekend - tomorrow is off and I'll take friday, make it into a four day weekend and go to Coorg with Sidd and company. Should be interesting - though we don't have any place to live at yet - could be a sticky issue. I'll try to keep twitter going - unfortunately I don't have a camera so there won't be any pictures out of the trip - save the ones coming from my phone.
Life's been the same otherwise - I'm investigating a few things - trying to see if they work out. The problem with doing shit like that is that when shit don't work out, life just starts feeling like a bigger bitch that it really is. I can't somehow keep my expectations down from my own life.
Anyways, that's that for now - will update after the weekend most probably - unless we don't make it there for some reason.
Anyways, I ain't complaining. I had shit to do :) - and I enjoyed doing it. Now comes a long weekend - tomorrow is off and I'll take friday, make it into a four day weekend and go to Coorg with Sidd and company. Should be interesting - though we don't have any place to live at yet - could be a sticky issue. I'll try to keep twitter going - unfortunately I don't have a camera so there won't be any pictures out of the trip - save the ones coming from my phone.
Life's been the same otherwise - I'm investigating a few things - trying to see if they work out. The problem with doing shit like that is that when shit don't work out, life just starts feeling like a bigger bitch that it really is. I can't somehow keep my expectations down from my own life.
Anyways, that's that for now - will update after the weekend most probably - unless we don't make it there for some reason.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
A (rare) thank you to my parents
Not much to report on - the django bit is going well, as is learning some more python. Both are quiet entertaining too, I might add. Work is slow as ever. Life is slow as ever.
I was thinking about my folks the other day. I do complain about them - and most of those complains aren't baseless - they can be corroborated. But one thing I have to commend them on, and more than that, thank them for is never leaving us hanging. I mean this in general terms, but in this specific instance, I am talking about the financial support they have always given us. I am not talking about them paying our way through high school or college (in my opinion, that is a parent's responsibility - to pay for at-least 4 years of education post high-school - I plan to be ready for that) but of their extra curricular support. All through college, I never had to worry about having too little money, or not doing something I wanted to do, or not enjoying the most of college that I could - because I knew that if I were ever in trouble, my folks would be there - like a pillar - to always support me. Even now, when I moved to India and didn't have too much money to do and buy everything I wanted, they never hesitated to give me all that I asked for - and more. And I personally feel that I've been shameless about asking them to buy me things that I didn't really need, things that were pure luxury - like a new car. Yet they never hesitated, never made me think that I was asking for too much, that I was asking for something that wasn't meant for me.
And to actually broaden on this, both my parents have played the role of support structures to perfection. You know what they say about being around your parents - it makes you feel like a kid. Some people don't have that feeling, but I still do, and while I complain and give myself a hard time about allowing that, deep inside me, somewhere hidden, it gives me great comfort - I like feeling like a kid, feeling that my parents are always there - to take care of everything - fix everything (I might be overdoing this a little - to the point of making myself look like a mama's boy or some-such, but this is just to give an idea).
I remember when I first went to college, among other things, my dad told me this - always remember, there are very few problems that cannot be solved with money. I still hold that to heart - and I thank the gods that I have him, nay them, around to always support me in such times.
I was thinking about my folks the other day. I do complain about them - and most of those complains aren't baseless - they can be corroborated. But one thing I have to commend them on, and more than that, thank them for is never leaving us hanging. I mean this in general terms, but in this specific instance, I am talking about the financial support they have always given us. I am not talking about them paying our way through high school or college (in my opinion, that is a parent's responsibility - to pay for at-least 4 years of education post high-school - I plan to be ready for that) but of their extra curricular support. All through college, I never had to worry about having too little money, or not doing something I wanted to do, or not enjoying the most of college that I could - because I knew that if I were ever in trouble, my folks would be there - like a pillar - to always support me. Even now, when I moved to India and didn't have too much money to do and buy everything I wanted, they never hesitated to give me all that I asked for - and more. And I personally feel that I've been shameless about asking them to buy me things that I didn't really need, things that were pure luxury - like a new car. Yet they never hesitated, never made me think that I was asking for too much, that I was asking for something that wasn't meant for me.
And to actually broaden on this, both my parents have played the role of support structures to perfection. You know what they say about being around your parents - it makes you feel like a kid. Some people don't have that feeling, but I still do, and while I complain and give myself a hard time about allowing that, deep inside me, somewhere hidden, it gives me great comfort - I like feeling like a kid, feeling that my parents are always there - to take care of everything - fix everything (I might be overdoing this a little - to the point of making myself look like a mama's boy or some-such, but this is just to give an idea).
I remember when I first went to college, among other things, my dad told me this - always remember, there are very few problems that cannot be solved with money. I still hold that to heart - and I thank the gods that I have him, nay them, around to always support me in such times.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
WoW has lost it's luster
I have been a big fan for almost a year and a half now. However, in recent days, the games fandom has lost a citizen. My game play has gone from 2-3 hours/day to <1hour/week. For those who know me, this would seem like a miracle - I used to be totally engrossed in the game, and now I'm not. Let me recount the reasons.
For a while, I had been feeling disillusioned with the game. Nay, not the game, but the group of people (Guild) I play with. I had seen some politicking happening, people were saying something and doing something tangentially different, were recruiting new members without any respect for the group or the older guys etc. etc. The reason all this pissed me off was 'cause my main reason for playing the game wasn't the game itself, but the community surrounding it, and the few friends I had made in that virtual world. All that was breaking down now. All this had, hence, made me reduce my game play time by a little, but not too much.
Then I went to KL to visit my folks, my laptop's charger fried, and I was left without my machine for ~2 weeks. That was what broke the camel's back. I didn't miss not playing during those 2 weeks - in-fact, for some reason, I enjoyed the absence of the game. I read, slept, and did other shit I liked (or didn't...). All this meant that when I did finally have the use of my laptop again, WoW wasn't the first thing I started (like I would have done in the past). Instead, I went about doing other things - catch up on news, read blogs, learn some new systems etc. Now it's come to a place where in the last month, I have only attended the weekly guild night and haven't played the game outside of that. Most I have done other than that one morning of game play is hit the Auction house and sell all my shit. It's funny how I was broke when I was playing and now that I'm not anymore, I'm kinda rich :).
Anyways, I'm happy with this change, for now anyways. I don't feel the urge to play the game anymore. I can manage without it, and that's what I'm doing :).
For a while, I had been feeling disillusioned with the game. Nay, not the game, but the group of people (Guild) I play with. I had seen some politicking happening, people were saying something and doing something tangentially different, were recruiting new members without any respect for the group or the older guys etc. etc. The reason all this pissed me off was 'cause my main reason for playing the game wasn't the game itself, but the community surrounding it, and the few friends I had made in that virtual world. All that was breaking down now. All this had, hence, made me reduce my game play time by a little, but not too much.
Then I went to KL to visit my folks, my laptop's charger fried, and I was left without my machine for ~2 weeks. That was what broke the camel's back. I didn't miss not playing during those 2 weeks - in-fact, for some reason, I enjoyed the absence of the game. I read, slept, and did other shit I liked (or didn't...). All this meant that when I did finally have the use of my laptop again, WoW wasn't the first thing I started (like I would have done in the past). Instead, I went about doing other things - catch up on news, read blogs, learn some new systems etc. Now it's come to a place where in the last month, I have only attended the weekly guild night and haven't played the game outside of that. Most I have done other than that one morning of game play is hit the Auction house and sell all my shit. It's funny how I was broke when I was playing and now that I'm not anymore, I'm kinda rich :).
Anyways, I'm happy with this change, for now anyways. I don't feel the urge to play the game anymore. I can manage without it, and that's what I'm doing :).
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Letters from Iwo Jima - an (non)attempt at a review
I saw Letters from Iwo Jima recently and figured I should write down my thoughts on it. I had earlier seen it's companion movie - Flags of our fathers, and hadn't been quiet impressed. Letters, on the other hand, was one of the better movies I have seen recently.
It's the story of the Japanese soldiers who fought to "defend" the island of Iwo Jima from the American invaders. The main protagonists - General Kuribayashi and Saigo were shown as affable men, those who were empathetic to their fellow man, yet knew what they had to do (a misguided sense of duty in my opinion, but sense of duty nonetheless). The movie is interspersed with scenes showing their humanity, their sense of humor, their sense of right and wrong, their longing to go back home, their courage in the face of inevitable defeat and death. We got to learn what General K thought about his visit to the US, how Saigo was forced into going to war, how his wife reacted when they got the letter asking him to go to war, his kind loving words and resolute promise to his unborn baby that night. All these scenes added up to give the viewer a sense of what those times were like, how tough they were for both the sides (we have, after all, seen more than a couple movies telling the American side of the story) and how similar the various people involved were, in their feelings towards the war (I had got a taste of this in Memoirs of a Geisha too).
It was a movie that told it's story like it happened - no sugar coating, nobody was a hero, nobody was a villain. Some of the scenes where the Japanese helped an American soldier with his wounds, or where the American soldiers shot their Japanese captors were quiet endearing. By the end of things, I was left with swelled up eyes and a knot in my stomach which was saying that such things should never happen - nobody deserves death this way, nobody deserves to live life after having done the things a war makes you do.
And that, in my opinion, was the highlight of the movie - an urge to resolve to not let such things happen again - and the director through the tragic story of these men, implores us to follow up on this urge.
It's the story of the Japanese soldiers who fought to "defend" the island of Iwo Jima from the American invaders. The main protagonists - General Kuribayashi and Saigo were shown as affable men, those who were empathetic to their fellow man, yet knew what they had to do (a misguided sense of duty in my opinion, but sense of duty nonetheless). The movie is interspersed with scenes showing their humanity, their sense of humor, their sense of right and wrong, their longing to go back home, their courage in the face of inevitable defeat and death. We got to learn what General K thought about his visit to the US, how Saigo was forced into going to war, how his wife reacted when they got the letter asking him to go to war, his kind loving words and resolute promise to his unborn baby that night. All these scenes added up to give the viewer a sense of what those times were like, how tough they were for both the sides (we have, after all, seen more than a couple movies telling the American side of the story) and how similar the various people involved were, in their feelings towards the war (I had got a taste of this in Memoirs of a Geisha too).
It was a movie that told it's story like it happened - no sugar coating, nobody was a hero, nobody was a villain. Some of the scenes where the Japanese helped an American soldier with his wounds, or where the American soldiers shot their Japanese captors were quiet endearing. By the end of things, I was left with swelled up eyes and a knot in my stomach which was saying that such things should never happen - nobody deserves death this way, nobody deserves to live life after having done the things a war makes you do.
And that, in my opinion, was the highlight of the movie - an urge to resolve to not let such things happen again - and the director through the tragic story of these men, implores us to follow up on this urge.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Visit to Mysore - Day 2
I described the first day of our trip to Mysore here. Now to talk about our second day. We got up kinda late - I got up around 8am. Did the regular morning duties, got dressed up, waited for Manu B and Shilpa B and headed down for breakfast, which was exhorbitantly priced and so, instead, we decided to check out, head out to the "city" center, grab a bite to eat and then go for some shopping - since the ladies were adamant about it. We had a buffet breakfast for Rs. 45 - not the best in the world, but it filled our stomachs - and then headed out to some store fronts. Bhabhi wanted to buy a table for her house, while Ma wanted to buy some stuff for hers. After wandering through a couple of handicraft emporiums, we ended up going about 2kms away from where we had our breakfast, to the official Govt. of Karnataka store.
That place was huge. They had clothes (and rolls of cloth to make clothes from) on the ground floor and the handicraft stuff on the first floor. We initially ended up going to the first floor where those guys took almost 1.5 hours to buy all they needed (I would describe the place, but it was like a run of the mill handicraft emporium you see in India). We then headed down where another 45 minutes or so were spent sifting through clothes. By the time we were done with all this, it was close to 1pm so we decided to head back to Bangalore.
I forgot to add that by now, Manu B and I were sick, We were both having trouble swallowing stuff, my nose was running and both of us were generally feeling pretty drained out. Nonetheless, the ladies decided to stop by at a place called Srirangapatna to see some historic parks/monuments built by Tipu Sultan. Though we never ended up going inside any of these, we drove past them and saw some lush green gardens inside. We did, however, stop at the Sangam of Kaveri. That was pretty tight. The water was nice and fresh, there wasn't too big a crowd and the view was pretty spectacular. A pretty serene place - one where I would want to have a house some day.
Anyway, that was the end of our trip. From there on out, we slept while bhabhi drove and ma talked till we reached the outskirts of B'lore. When we did finally reach there (~5pm) we decided to take the Hosur road - a new highway which connects the outskirts to the main city. It started off pretty well - it was quiet, had a good road, had entry and exit ramps, was away from everything and hence did not have people crossing from any-which-where and was in general a pleasure to drive on. Up until where the road ended. And beyond that, was nothing. No directions, no half broken road nor anybody to tell you which way to go. All there was, was a mud track, not even suitable for rally driving, with big stones and huge holes leading to nowhere (as far as I could see). Bhabhi was driving initially, and hence the underneath of the car got banged up pretty well, until Manu B took over. He drove more cautiously, and somehow or the other got us the hell out of there and onto a main (and I use that word liberally) road which we followed all the way back to their house. By the time we reached there, we were all pretty tired and I was royally pissed about that last part of the journey. I mean, how hard is it to tell people at the toll booths (which were manned, BTW) that this road leads nowhere, and that you're much better off taking the regular road into town. Also, why give directions to various parts of town when you know the road doesn't connect to them. If we hadn't had directions to a place close to our house, we would have taken a long past exit.
Anyway, to sum up the trip, it was pretty nice - though it didn't end quiet as well as it could have. Mysore was a nice place to visit - an enjoyable, quaint and nascent town. I have no doubt that soon it will be built up and busy just like B'lore - and that's just as well for the residents - but for us travellers, it will be a shame.
That place was huge. They had clothes (and rolls of cloth to make clothes from) on the ground floor and the handicraft stuff on the first floor. We initially ended up going to the first floor where those guys took almost 1.5 hours to buy all they needed (I would describe the place, but it was like a run of the mill handicraft emporium you see in India). We then headed down where another 45 minutes or so were spent sifting through clothes. By the time we were done with all this, it was close to 1pm so we decided to head back to Bangalore.
I forgot to add that by now, Manu B and I were sick, We were both having trouble swallowing stuff, my nose was running and both of us were generally feeling pretty drained out. Nonetheless, the ladies decided to stop by at a place called Srirangapatna to see some historic parks/monuments built by Tipu Sultan. Though we never ended up going inside any of these, we drove past them and saw some lush green gardens inside. We did, however, stop at the Sangam of Kaveri. That was pretty tight. The water was nice and fresh, there wasn't too big a crowd and the view was pretty spectacular. A pretty serene place - one where I would want to have a house some day.
Anyway, that was the end of our trip. From there on out, we slept while bhabhi drove and ma talked till we reached the outskirts of B'lore. When we did finally reach there (~5pm) we decided to take the Hosur road - a new highway which connects the outskirts to the main city. It started off pretty well - it was quiet, had a good road, had entry and exit ramps, was away from everything and hence did not have people crossing from any-which-where and was in general a pleasure to drive on. Up until where the road ended. And beyond that, was nothing. No directions, no half broken road nor anybody to tell you which way to go. All there was, was a mud track, not even suitable for rally driving, with big stones and huge holes leading to nowhere (as far as I could see). Bhabhi was driving initially, and hence the underneath of the car got banged up pretty well, until Manu B took over. He drove more cautiously, and somehow or the other got us the hell out of there and onto a main (and I use that word liberally) road which we followed all the way back to their house. By the time we reached there, we were all pretty tired and I was royally pissed about that last part of the journey. I mean, how hard is it to tell people at the toll booths (which were manned, BTW) that this road leads nowhere, and that you're much better off taking the regular road into town. Also, why give directions to various parts of town when you know the road doesn't connect to them. If we hadn't had directions to a place close to our house, we would have taken a long past exit.
Anyway, to sum up the trip, it was pretty nice - though it didn't end quiet as well as it could have. Mysore was a nice place to visit - an enjoyable, quaint and nascent town. I have no doubt that soon it will be built up and busy just like B'lore - and that's just as well for the residents - but for us travellers, it will be a shame.
An ode to my brother
My brother recently celebrated (or maybe not) his 22'nd birthday and I realized that I haven't ever written about him. So here goes.
He's been the kind who was always troublesome. Well, to me anyways. He would pick fights with me, trouble me no end, take sides against me and in general be a royal pain in the ass. This was back when we were kids. All this changed when we both went off to college.
I guess I matured first - I had a year's headstart. He followed soon though. He went to college, didn't have the easiest of times there (IMO anyways) but he came out better for it. I guess the distance between the two of us (not seeing each other everyday) helped with the process of not fighting, and having shit to talk about when we did, too.
Anyways, towards the last year of my college and his last two years, we became kinda close - maybe for the first time. Various things bound us - our complains about our parents, our choice in women, discussions about politics, discussions about classes, looking for a job, etc. etc. We used to sit and talk on the phone for hours - like chicks or some shit, and not feel sorry for it (well, at-least I didn't feel sorry). Even when he came and lived with me for a couple of months after finishing up school, there were hardly any times when we fought. We were like the picture postcard of a happy family - one who talked, one who enjoyed each other's company, one who quarreled but it let it go soon, one who liked to eat the same things and the list goes on. Suffice it to say, we both had a good time during those 2 months.
All this is not to say that we haven't had our differences over this period. I was hugely disappointed with my trip to his college before I flew out to India. I wanted it to be memorable (given that I didn't know if/when I would come back) which it didn't end up being (and I mostly blame him for it). We also disagreed over our emotions for our parents. This list could go on for a mile, but none of that matters as much - we have overcome all that for the past few years - and I think we will keep doing so for the next few too (what happens beyond that is anybody's guess).
When I was younger, I used to tell my folks that I wish I didn't have a younger brother, or that I wish I had a sister, or that I wish they had waited longer before having a second child, and I used to believe all what I said back then, too. However, I would not change what I have right now, for the world (though I would still like to have a sister). He has taught me innumerable things, he has guided me in innumerable ways and him being around has pleased me in unmeasurable quantities. So, Mon frère, live a long and happy life - and I hope we be just as good friends in our twilight years, as we are now. Happy Birthday.
He's been the kind who was always troublesome. Well, to me anyways. He would pick fights with me, trouble me no end, take sides against me and in general be a royal pain in the ass. This was back when we were kids. All this changed when we both went off to college.
I guess I matured first - I had a year's headstart. He followed soon though. He went to college, didn't have the easiest of times there (IMO anyways) but he came out better for it. I guess the distance between the two of us (not seeing each other everyday) helped with the process of not fighting, and having shit to talk about when we did, too.
Anyways, towards the last year of my college and his last two years, we became kinda close - maybe for the first time. Various things bound us - our complains about our parents, our choice in women, discussions about politics, discussions about classes, looking for a job, etc. etc. We used to sit and talk on the phone for hours - like chicks or some shit, and not feel sorry for it (well, at-least I didn't feel sorry). Even when he came and lived with me for a couple of months after finishing up school, there were hardly any times when we fought. We were like the picture postcard of a happy family - one who talked, one who enjoyed each other's company, one who quarreled but it let it go soon, one who liked to eat the same things and the list goes on. Suffice it to say, we both had a good time during those 2 months.
All this is not to say that we haven't had our differences over this period. I was hugely disappointed with my trip to his college before I flew out to India. I wanted it to be memorable (given that I didn't know if/when I would come back) which it didn't end up being (and I mostly blame him for it). We also disagreed over our emotions for our parents. This list could go on for a mile, but none of that matters as much - we have overcome all that for the past few years - and I think we will keep doing so for the next few too (what happens beyond that is anybody's guess).
When I was younger, I used to tell my folks that I wish I didn't have a younger brother, or that I wish I had a sister, or that I wish they had waited longer before having a second child, and I used to believe all what I said back then, too. However, I would not change what I have right now, for the world (though I would still like to have a sister). He has taught me innumerable things, he has guided me in innumerable ways and him being around has pleased me in unmeasurable quantities. So, Mon frère, live a long and happy life - and I hope we be just as good friends in our twilight years, as we are now. Happy Birthday.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I have given up on this country.
This is fucked up. Really. How the fuck can you justify reserving half the seats in a college for a group/class of people. Besides the fact that it is terribly unfair to other's, there is also the fact that it won't work - people who don't deserve admission into a good school, won't be able to survive the rigors even if they did.
I have just given up on Indian politics (and might I say India too). Politicians and the regular people here are so apathetic to basic common sense that it's depressing. I guess that's one of the reasons I didn't buy a TV - so that I didn't have to see this kind of BS everyday and be disappointed. Go and cry all, go and cry.
I have just given up on Indian politics (and might I say India too). Politicians and the regular people here are so apathetic to basic common sense that it's depressing. I guess that's one of the reasons I didn't buy a TV - so that I didn't have to see this kind of BS everyday and be disappointed. Go and cry all, go and cry.
Visit to Mysore - Day 1
So, my mom came over last weekend, and it being a long one (we had monday off due to Ugadi) we (my cousin, his wife, me and my mom) decided to head out to Mysore and check it out. I've been in B'lore for the last 6 months, and one of the first things you're supposed to do is go see Mysore, so following tradition, I did :).
The drive there was pleasant. As usual, getting out of Bangalore was a royal pain in the ass - even though we were driving out on sunday morning. However, once out of Bangalore, the highway to Mysore (aptly named "Mysore Road") was quiet pleasant. It's a 4-lane highway which is better than most roads I have seen in India. It's not broken, nor is it too busy. The only kink in it's armor is that it runs through a bunch of small towns and everytime you get to one of those, your speed reduces significantly. I guess I should complain about why they can't plan these things better, and why they can't have proper entry and exit ramps instead of having sudden turns _ON A HIGHWAY_ but I've learnt that none of that matters now. Good roads should suffice. It took us about 4 hours to get there - we stopped on the way at a Coffee shop to (obviously) grab some caffeine and take a break. It also allowed us to change drivers.
We had booked a hotel in Mysore the night before, so we knew where we had to go. However, for some odd reason, we did not take any directions to that hotel within the city, from the highway. No biggy though - all we did was call up the hotel, ask for some landmark and then ask people along the way for directions to that landmark. I was pretty surprised (and for a long time thought that we still hadn't entered the city) to see that the place was pretty un-cluttered. There weren't too many people, not many cars on the roads, almost no taxis (heaven!!) and the roads were pretty clean and more importantly, not broken every 2 meters. Driving into the city, I got the feel that I was in-fact driving into a hill station. We didn't have too much trouble finding the hotel, one wrong turn along the way is all. The hotel wasn't half bad either. It was a branch of Ginger Hotels and as such was pretty clean, close to international standards and pretty convenient as far as regular amenities go.
So we parked our car, checked in, took a break, and then headed out again for some lunch before going to the Mysore Palace. Lunch was consumed at the Pizza Corner close to the palace following which some window shopping was done. Finally, we headed out again, for the palace.
We parked our car, walked up to the entry and paid our entry fees (oddly, "foreigners" were supposed to pay Rs. 100 for entry whereas "Indians" were to pay Rs. 20. I don't think this kind of discrimination is justified. Even if we assume that somebody can afford to pay the money, doesn't mean we should make them do it. I have not seen such practices anywhere else in the world - definitely not in the western world) and walked in. The first thing that confronted us was the number of guides hawking us for their services. The prices they quoted were too high so we moved on towards the palace thinking that we'll just buy a book and read through it (and indeed we did, later on). We were required to take our shoes off before entering the place (which again was very weird - they're called cleaners - what they do is clean the floors in the evenings - when people are no longer allowed into the place - besides it's not like you're doing such a stellar job anyways keeping the place nice and spotless) which we did - and had to pay for. We then moved into the line to finally enter the place. As soon as we did so, we were again hawked by a guide to give us a tour, and since he quoted a price my cousin was willing to pay (I wasn't too interested in hiring the services of one) we acquiesced and started the grand tour. Going from room to room, he would show us various things, that maybe we wouldn't have noticed, but even so, weren't that significant that we were really losing out on something. For example, he made a big deal of all these paintings done on the walls which were supposed to be 3D. What that meant was that all the eyes (in the paintings) followed us as we moved across the room. Not rocket science - but he made us see the each one of the paintings from various angles repeatedly. Then, once we came into an alleyway where two mirrors were fixed facing each other and he goes "Wave your hand", and we did, which was followed by "see - an infinite number of hands are waving back at you. Isn't that great". I mean seriously - this is something I can replicate in my bathroom - I don't need you to tell me this. Going through that tour, I could kind of relate to a quote I had once I heard in The Wire - "The whole world shines shit and calls it gold".
Anyways, after we had finished our tour of the palace, we walked out, made a quick stop at the souvenir shop for the place, collected our shoes and drove out towards Brindavan gardens. The drive there was decent for the most part - up until the last stretch spanning about 2 kms. The road was broken more than an old woman's face is wrinkled. That shit was so bad that you were basically hopping from one pothole to another, inevitably banging the underneath of your car. And what was even more surprising was that even though the quality of this road was so bad, they still had new and renovated speed breakers - as if any asshole would be driving at the requisite speeds on that road to warrant the creation of a speed breaker. Anyhow, we entered the place, parked our car, hit the head, paid for entry into the park, and strolled in. Now this apparently is the place where a lot of songs in 70's bollywood movies were shot - and once you walk in, you immediately realize that that's true. You have all these small fountains, and then streams of water falling down stepped stones followed by more fountains followed by an even steeper and longer "Waterfall". The whole garden is surrounded by a dam which holds out the river Kaveri, and since my cousin was adamant, we made the hike up the ramp to the top from where we could see a huge well of water on one side, and the dam releasing some of that water on the other.
We then walked back down and went to a Hotel constructed there, where we cooled down (it was a pretty hot day), had some snacks and shakes and generally just relaxed and took in the view for a little bit. Once the evening started to come in, we began to head across the park, where on the exact other side, was a "musical fountain". That hike was torture. There were way too many people, cramped up on a narrow walkway which lead to increasing perspiration, body odor, rubbing against others and an unbearable amount of heat being generated. We finally reached the place, picked out a spot to see the show, went through it (it wasn't too bad, but nothing spectacular either - I couldn't see any co-ordination between the music and the water) and then hiked back to our parking spot. By the time I sat back in, I was dying for a cold one. And, perhaps a smoke. I was burning up, wanted to just jump into a shower, and sit in there for the next two days - just to cool myself down and rid me of all the sweat. Alas, that was not to happen, since it was getting kinda late by the time we got back to the city and hence had to hurry to find something to eat. After some searching, we found a restaurant called Olive Garden (ironically) where we camped up and had our dinner - not the best food I've had, I might add, though what made it better was the surroundings as well as the fact that it was attached to a pretty fly lodge. I had my beer here too - which made things better some.
Finally, at the end of a very long day, we went back to our hotel - and as soon as I entered my room, I just flopped into the bed. My mom took a shower first, after which I took one and then went to bed.
That was the first day of our trip - quiet a long post, but I wanted to list out everything. I will (hopefully) write about our second day soon.
Edit: The second part of this post is available here.
The drive there was pleasant. As usual, getting out of Bangalore was a royal pain in the ass - even though we were driving out on sunday morning. However, once out of Bangalore, the highway to Mysore (aptly named "Mysore Road") was quiet pleasant. It's a 4-lane highway which is better than most roads I have seen in India. It's not broken, nor is it too busy. The only kink in it's armor is that it runs through a bunch of small towns and everytime you get to one of those, your speed reduces significantly. I guess I should complain about why they can't plan these things better, and why they can't have proper entry and exit ramps instead of having sudden turns _ON A HIGHWAY_ but I've learnt that none of that matters now. Good roads should suffice. It took us about 4 hours to get there - we stopped on the way at a Coffee shop to (obviously) grab some caffeine and take a break. It also allowed us to change drivers.
We had booked a hotel in Mysore the night before, so we knew where we had to go. However, for some odd reason, we did not take any directions to that hotel within the city, from the highway. No biggy though - all we did was call up the hotel, ask for some landmark and then ask people along the way for directions to that landmark. I was pretty surprised (and for a long time thought that we still hadn't entered the city) to see that the place was pretty un-cluttered. There weren't too many people, not many cars on the roads, almost no taxis (heaven!!) and the roads were pretty clean and more importantly, not broken every 2 meters. Driving into the city, I got the feel that I was in-fact driving into a hill station. We didn't have too much trouble finding the hotel, one wrong turn along the way is all. The hotel wasn't half bad either. It was a branch of Ginger Hotels and as such was pretty clean, close to international standards and pretty convenient as far as regular amenities go.
So we parked our car, checked in, took a break, and then headed out again for some lunch before going to the Mysore Palace. Lunch was consumed at the Pizza Corner close to the palace following which some window shopping was done. Finally, we headed out again, for the palace.
We parked our car, walked up to the entry and paid our entry fees (oddly, "foreigners" were supposed to pay Rs. 100 for entry whereas "Indians" were to pay Rs. 20. I don't think this kind of discrimination is justified. Even if we assume that somebody can afford to pay the money, doesn't mean we should make them do it. I have not seen such practices anywhere else in the world - definitely not in the western world) and walked in. The first thing that confronted us was the number of guides hawking us for their services. The prices they quoted were too high so we moved on towards the palace thinking that we'll just buy a book and read through it (and indeed we did, later on). We were required to take our shoes off before entering the place (which again was very weird - they're called cleaners - what they do is clean the floors in the evenings - when people are no longer allowed into the place - besides it's not like you're doing such a stellar job anyways keeping the place nice and spotless) which we did - and had to pay for. We then moved into the line to finally enter the place. As soon as we did so, we were again hawked by a guide to give us a tour, and since he quoted a price my cousin was willing to pay (I wasn't too interested in hiring the services of one) we acquiesced and started the grand tour. Going from room to room, he would show us various things, that maybe we wouldn't have noticed, but even so, weren't that significant that we were really losing out on something. For example, he made a big deal of all these paintings done on the walls which were supposed to be 3D. What that meant was that all the eyes (in the paintings) followed us as we moved across the room. Not rocket science - but he made us see the each one of the paintings from various angles repeatedly. Then, once we came into an alleyway where two mirrors were fixed facing each other and he goes "Wave your hand", and we did, which was followed by "see - an infinite number of hands are waving back at you. Isn't that great". I mean seriously - this is something I can replicate in my bathroom - I don't need you to tell me this. Going through that tour, I could kind of relate to a quote I had once I heard in The Wire - "The whole world shines shit and calls it gold".
Anyways, after we had finished our tour of the palace, we walked out, made a quick stop at the souvenir shop for the place, collected our shoes and drove out towards Brindavan gardens. The drive there was decent for the most part - up until the last stretch spanning about 2 kms. The road was broken more than an old woman's face is wrinkled. That shit was so bad that you were basically hopping from one pothole to another, inevitably banging the underneath of your car. And what was even more surprising was that even though the quality of this road was so bad, they still had new and renovated speed breakers - as if any asshole would be driving at the requisite speeds on that road to warrant the creation of a speed breaker. Anyhow, we entered the place, parked our car, hit the head, paid for entry into the park, and strolled in. Now this apparently is the place where a lot of songs in 70's bollywood movies were shot - and once you walk in, you immediately realize that that's true. You have all these small fountains, and then streams of water falling down stepped stones followed by more fountains followed by an even steeper and longer "Waterfall". The whole garden is surrounded by a dam which holds out the river Kaveri, and since my cousin was adamant, we made the hike up the ramp to the top from where we could see a huge well of water on one side, and the dam releasing some of that water on the other.
We then walked back down and went to a Hotel constructed there, where we cooled down (it was a pretty hot day), had some snacks and shakes and generally just relaxed and took in the view for a little bit. Once the evening started to come in, we began to head across the park, where on the exact other side, was a "musical fountain". That hike was torture. There were way too many people, cramped up on a narrow walkway which lead to increasing perspiration, body odor, rubbing against others and an unbearable amount of heat being generated. We finally reached the place, picked out a spot to see the show, went through it (it wasn't too bad, but nothing spectacular either - I couldn't see any co-ordination between the music and the water) and then hiked back to our parking spot. By the time I sat back in, I was dying for a cold one. And, perhaps a smoke. I was burning up, wanted to just jump into a shower, and sit in there for the next two days - just to cool myself down and rid me of all the sweat. Alas, that was not to happen, since it was getting kinda late by the time we got back to the city and hence had to hurry to find something to eat. After some searching, we found a restaurant called Olive Garden (ironically) where we camped up and had our dinner - not the best food I've had, I might add, though what made it better was the surroundings as well as the fact that it was attached to a pretty fly lodge. I had my beer here too - which made things better some.
Finally, at the end of a very long day, we went back to our hotel - and as soon as I entered my room, I just flopped into the bed. My mom took a shower first, after which I took one and then went to bed.
That was the first day of our trip - quiet a long post, but I wanted to list out everything. I will (hopefully) write about our second day soon.
Edit: The second part of this post is available here.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Still without my laptop
Unfortunately, I still don't have the use of my laptop, though hopefully, today should see the end of that. And quiet fitting too, 'cause tonight, I should be done reading Shogun. It's been quiet amazing to me that I've read the book in less than a week. It's 1200+ pages for the uninitiated.
But what's been ever better is the satisfaction I have got from the book. I get the feeling that it hasn't tried to short change you - trick you into not having to tell you things. It tells you everything you want to know - maybe not right away, but nonetheless - and then some. The details of how Japanese society worked in those days, how people thought, how they behaved, how they survived, how they fought, how they killed, how they treated other's (and the list goes on) continues to enamor me. But the most satisfying part about the book has been about how the politics of the day played out. The trickery, the ambitious forward planning, the treason for more land/women/honor et al were all highly satisfying. There is only one place parts of said statements are missing - the climax. It ends in such a way that leaves you wanting. There was all this foreplay to a war, which never comes. There is no definitive ending - only thoughts (though the book gives u hints as to what to make of that) which give you the feeling that 100-150 pages more should have been written to play out the war and the make the book feel complete. However, I'm not complaining - I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book.
My next read is going to be Lolita followed by Babyji - both of which I bought yesterday. I'm excited. During my drive back, I was reading the foreword to Lolita (when the traffic was at a standstill) and I realized that I'll probably need a dictionary to read through the whole thing. So that might be something I will keep in mind when the actual reading gets started - which might not until after next week when my mother leaves.
P.S. - The first half of this post written a couple days back and the second half now. Hence, maybe some inconsistencies.
But what's been ever better is the satisfaction I have got from the book. I get the feeling that it hasn't tried to short change you - trick you into not having to tell you things. It tells you everything you want to know - maybe not right away, but nonetheless - and then some. The details of how Japanese society worked in those days, how people thought, how they behaved, how they survived, how they fought, how they killed, how they treated other's (and the list goes on) continues to enamor me. But the most satisfying part about the book has been about how the politics of the day played out. The trickery, the ambitious forward planning, the treason for more land/women/honor et al were all highly satisfying. There is only one place parts of said statements are missing - the climax. It ends in such a way that leaves you wanting. There was all this foreplay to a war, which never comes. There is no definitive ending - only thoughts (though the book gives u hints as to what to make of that) which give you the feeling that 100-150 pages more should have been written to play out the war and the make the book feel complete. However, I'm not complaining - I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book.
My next read is going to be Lolita followed by Babyji - both of which I bought yesterday. I'm excited. During my drive back, I was reading the foreword to Lolita (when the traffic was at a standstill) and I realized that I'll probably need a dictionary to read through the whole thing. So that might be something I will keep in mind when the actual reading gets started - which might not until after next week when my mother leaves.
P.S. - The first half of this post written a couple days back and the second half now. Hence, maybe some inconsistencies.
Friday, March 28, 2008
A lifelong fantasy, as yet unfulfilled
Well, I don't know if it has been lifelong or not, but it's been around ever since I hit 13-14 years of age (when I entered my adolescence). I was reading this erotic story (in those days porn videos were hard to come by) where this older woman (if I remember correctly, the guy's mother) takes this guy for her lover. The way the story was written (it was like 7 pages long) and all the gory details which had been laid out were highly fascinating, and ever since, I've had this thing for older women.
Not just older women, but an older woman who sort of takes it upon herself to teach me the ways of sex. I've always fantasized about the first time she asks me if I wanted to see what it was like, and then seen myself, say very shyly and with loads of hesitation "Yes". She goes on to teach me everything there is to know about being a good lay, the ins and outs of the acts, if you will. I had dreamt, for the longest time, that this is how I'd lose my virginity. Not in school, with a woman about my age, but outside of my regular life, with a woman 10-15-20 years older than me. Alas, that never happened. But I still dream of going through this....this act if you will. It still holds the same allure it did 9-10 years ago.
I've never really had a woman in mind who would do this, it's not about that. It's just been about the way it happens - the eroticism of the process. Perhaps, the feeling that it's wrong has also played a part in the excitement (though I don't know why I think it's wrong).
Anyways, I don't know if it's ever going to happen. It might be better if it didn't - the only thing worse than your dreams coming true is if your dreams don't live up to their expectiations.
Not just older women, but an older woman who sort of takes it upon herself to teach me the ways of sex. I've always fantasized about the first time she asks me if I wanted to see what it was like, and then seen myself, say very shyly and with loads of hesitation "Yes". She goes on to teach me everything there is to know about being a good lay, the ins and outs of the acts, if you will. I had dreamt, for the longest time, that this is how I'd lose my virginity. Not in school, with a woman about my age, but outside of my regular life, with a woman 10-15-20 years older than me. Alas, that never happened. But I still dream of going through this....this act if you will. It still holds the same allure it did 9-10 years ago.
I've never really had a woman in mind who would do this, it's not about that. It's just been about the way it happens - the eroticism of the process. Perhaps, the feeling that it's wrong has also played a part in the excitement (though I don't know why I think it's wrong).
Anyways, I don't know if it's ever going to happen. It might be better if it didn't - the only thing worse than your dreams coming true is if your dreams don't live up to their expectiations.
Finished Memoirs of a Geisha
So...I've finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha. An interesting book, though maybe a little disappointing towards the end. I would have liked to hear some more about her years away from Japan. But, perhaps, it didn't make sense to include those days in this book, since it had already reached a climax with Sayuri finally getting what she wanted (for once - which really was good to read) when the Chairman offered himself as her danna.
Looking back, what the book did best was describe Japan in the early parts of the 20'th century. It also did a pretty decent job of describing Sayuri's (and earlier Chiyo's) feelings, but the former came off being the winner in my opinion. I wish I could remember things about my childhood as clearly as was written in this book. I guess it wasn't written based on Sayuri's memories alone, but even so, remembering what I felt at various points during my infancy and adolescence would be quiet interesting. I of-course remember some incidents which have left a mark on me, but I don't remember, for example, how the first rain drops of the fall felt on my skin when I was 10 years old.
Anyways, definitely a book worth reading. Highly recommended.
Looking back, what the book did best was describe Japan in the early parts of the 20'th century. It also did a pretty decent job of describing Sayuri's (and earlier Chiyo's) feelings, but the former came off being the winner in my opinion. I wish I could remember things about my childhood as clearly as was written in this book. I guess it wasn't written based on Sayuri's memories alone, but even so, remembering what I felt at various points during my infancy and adolescence would be quiet interesting. I of-course remember some incidents which have left a mark on me, but I don't remember, for example, how the first rain drops of the fall felt on my skin when I was 10 years old.
Anyways, definitely a book worth reading. Highly recommended.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
This is abnormal
I'm not sure why, but I've been happier than usualy these past few days. In fact, ever since I flew for KL, I have been happier, chirpier, merrier etc. etc. (maybe I was just projecting this onto my parents too - maybe they are no happier than when they were in Holland of Switzerland).
It's odd, not feeling like shit while driving to work, or driving back home. It's odd, not cursing at every asshole who cuts you off on the road. It's odd, not worrying about how I'm going to change things around. It's all very odd.
Maybe this comes from my readings - BTW, I finished reading memoirs, and I have words to write about that, or maybe it comes from me having found something to do outside of work, or maybe I just don't give a shit anymore (in which case, it definitely is subconcious).
In any case, it feels good to be not miserable :).
It's odd, not feeling like shit while driving to work, or driving back home. It's odd, not cursing at every asshole who cuts you off on the road. It's odd, not worrying about how I'm going to change things around. It's all very odd.
Maybe this comes from my readings - BTW, I finished reading memoirs, and I have words to write about that, or maybe it comes from me having found something to do outside of work, or maybe I just don't give a shit anymore (in which case, it definitely is subconcious).
In any case, it feels good to be not miserable :).
Monday, March 24, 2008
Read it and weep
I don't know how this speech by Barack Obama on race will go down in history. All I know is, this is one of the best speeches I have read since MLK's "I have a dream". It gives me hope that America can pull itself out of the racial divides that plague it (and anyone who denies that they exist is definitely delusional). Read it and weep.
Started reading again - with Memoirs of a Geisha
As noted in my earlier post, a positive outcome of my laptop charger breaking is that I now have the time to read. So, I've started the process off with Memoirs of a Geisha. From what I have read so far (and from the book's blurb) it seems to be about the life of a Geisha (Duh...) which starts in Japan and ends in New York. I used to think that Geisha simply meant prostitute in Japanese, but now it seems like they were much more than that. I think it'd be more apt to call them entertainers who at the end of the night, had sex with their clients. From what I have gathered so far, sex wasn't the primary motive for men to come see them.
I have read about 4-5 chapters, and the one thing I guess I can feel and relate with the most is when Chiyo describes her feelings upon learning that her mother would die (we have been told before, and it has also been hinted that, her father is old and does not share the same kind of bond she and her mother do). What knocks the nail into the coffin as far as those feelings go is when she is taken away by Mr. Tanaka to be sent to Kyoto - at the drop of a hat, with no time to say goodbye or otherwise allow her to reconcile with the fact that she will never see her mother again. These sad feelings are reinforced by the readings in the earlier parts of the book when the bond between the mother and daughter is described.
It is also sad when she is separated from her sister once they're in Kyoto, but for some reason (and even though it should), it doesn't sting as much. The rest of what I've read, the feelings you have for this little 9 year old girl, fade in comparison. She is given a beating, she is made to do household chores, she is sent to school where "mean" and hard teachers teach her. None of that matters as much (to me anyways) as her being parted from her dying mother and not being allowed to see her sister.
So, it's been an interesting read, though it's not been as spellbinding (so far) as I had thought it would be. I must add though, the description of Chiyo's village as well as that of 1930's Kyoto and the okiya Chiyo lives in reminds me of a quote from Jhumpa Lahiri's book - The Namesake where Gogol's grandfather tells his father that reading books allows you to travel without moving an inch (or something to that effect, I don't remember the exact quote).
I have read about 4-5 chapters, and the one thing I guess I can feel and relate with the most is when Chiyo describes her feelings upon learning that her mother would die (we have been told before, and it has also been hinted that, her father is old and does not share the same kind of bond she and her mother do). What knocks the nail into the coffin as far as those feelings go is when she is taken away by Mr. Tanaka to be sent to Kyoto - at the drop of a hat, with no time to say goodbye or otherwise allow her to reconcile with the fact that she will never see her mother again. These sad feelings are reinforced by the readings in the earlier parts of the book when the bond between the mother and daughter is described.
It is also sad when she is separated from her sister once they're in Kyoto, but for some reason (and even though it should), it doesn't sting as much. The rest of what I've read, the feelings you have for this little 9 year old girl, fade in comparison. She is given a beating, she is made to do household chores, she is sent to school where "mean" and hard teachers teach her. None of that matters as much (to me anyways) as her being parted from her dying mother and not being allowed to see her sister.
So, it's been an interesting read, though it's not been as spellbinding (so far) as I had thought it would be. I must add though, the description of Chiyo's village as well as that of 1930's Kyoto and the okiya Chiyo lives in reminds me of a quote from Jhumpa Lahiri's book - The Namesake where Gogol's grandfather tells his father that reading books allows you to travel without moving an inch (or something to that effect, I don't remember the exact quote).
A nice time in KL
I got back from visiting KL last night, and it has to be said, it was one of the best visits I've had with my folks. Primarily 'cause there was no fighting or squabbling involved, but also probably because I was waiting to get out of Bangalore, and these past 5 days provided an excellent outlet.
We didn't do much, just went out of town on thursday to a "resort" which had various themed parts. One was french (which really wasn't) while another was Japanese. The latter was quiet impressive. We got to see a traditional Japanese house, where a women was sitting all dressed up in her Kimono. We had the option to go get some tea in traditional Japanese style but I refused (I have issues with people just attending to me - I don't like too much attention I guess). The rest of the days were spent shopping, driving within the city, or otherwise just hanging at home.
Which brings me to another point - my folks now have one of the sweetest pads I have seen in my life. It sits on the 16'th floor, overlooking the city and the hills in the background. The house is spacious, which helps with their surround sound TV. The kitchen is probably bigger than my living room. They also seem to be happier than before. I have never seen my dad this chirpy, or my mom as merry (what with her dancing and singing and all that). I had thought that with all the stress that accompanies managing the audit work for 25 countries, my dad would be stressed out beyond recognition, but, it was the opposite. He seemed calm, happy and was enjoying the things he did. Maybe he was the same back in The Hague/Geneva, but I have to say he was noticeably more perky this time around.
Finally, on a somber note, my laptop charger went for a toss out there. The first day was fine, but the second day, while I was setting it up, I heard a distinctive noise, which, as soon as I had heard it, I knew what had happened. I was worried that maybe the laptop itself had lost it's abilities to charge (:)), but fortunately, it was only the charger that had fucked up. So now I have to go buy a new one, or get this one fixed. On the plus side though, it allows me to start reading again, which I have wanted to do for a long time. So, I picked up a bunch of books from my folks place and have started the process off with reading Memoirs of a Geisha. That is what my next post will be about.
We didn't do much, just went out of town on thursday to a "resort" which had various themed parts. One was french (which really wasn't) while another was Japanese. The latter was quiet impressive. We got to see a traditional Japanese house, where a women was sitting all dressed up in her Kimono. We had the option to go get some tea in traditional Japanese style but I refused (I have issues with people just attending to me - I don't like too much attention I guess). The rest of the days were spent shopping, driving within the city, or otherwise just hanging at home.
Which brings me to another point - my folks now have one of the sweetest pads I have seen in my life. It sits on the 16'th floor, overlooking the city and the hills in the background. The house is spacious, which helps with their surround sound TV. The kitchen is probably bigger than my living room. They also seem to be happier than before. I have never seen my dad this chirpy, or my mom as merry (what with her dancing and singing and all that). I had thought that with all the stress that accompanies managing the audit work for 25 countries, my dad would be stressed out beyond recognition, but, it was the opposite. He seemed calm, happy and was enjoying the things he did. Maybe he was the same back in The Hague/Geneva, but I have to say he was noticeably more perky this time around.
Finally, on a somber note, my laptop charger went for a toss out there. The first day was fine, but the second day, while I was setting it up, I heard a distinctive noise, which, as soon as I had heard it, I knew what had happened. I was worried that maybe the laptop itself had lost it's abilities to charge (:)), but fortunately, it was only the charger that had fucked up. So now I have to go buy a new one, or get this one fixed. On the plus side though, it allows me to start reading again, which I have wanted to do for a long time. So, I picked up a bunch of books from my folks place and have started the process off with reading Memoirs of a Geisha. That is what my next post will be about.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
I've had something to look forward to
I'm going to KL next Wednesday (~6 days from now) and that has kept me a little more chirpy than usual for the last few days. See, I have had something to look forward to.
That has been my complain with a "work life" always - it doesn't give you anything to look forward to (well, maybe interesting projects but nothing else) whereas while in school, you always had something to look forward to. Vacations - Winter, Spring, Summer, holidays in-between, finals etc. etc. There was no shortage of interesting things to do within the confines of college. It, unfortunately, isn't so in the working world :(.
Anyways, I'll be flying out to KL on Tuesday night/Wednesday early morning. Be there for 5 days. Should be an interesting trip. Papa has bought an Audi, so I'll get to check it out. They have also moved into the new crib which was pretty nice when I saw it last time. I will hopefully also go see some places in Malaysia, plus the FOOD - oh the heavenly food. I LUVZ the Asian cuisine, and as you can imagine, Malaysia has no shortage of it.
On the other hand, it can end up being a trip from hell too. After all, I am going to see my folks. Those meets have not always gone well in the past. There will always be things to argue about - mundane things like wear this shirt, not that one - or go work out for the 5 days you are here etc. etc. My money is on the trip landing up somewhere in the middle. There will obviously be some highly frustrating fights, and then there will be some genuinely pleasurable moments. Sadly, only time will tell.
That has been my complain with a "work life" always - it doesn't give you anything to look forward to (well, maybe interesting projects but nothing else) whereas while in school, you always had something to look forward to. Vacations - Winter, Spring, Summer, holidays in-between, finals etc. etc. There was no shortage of interesting things to do within the confines of college. It, unfortunately, isn't so in the working world :(.
Anyways, I'll be flying out to KL on Tuesday night/Wednesday early morning. Be there for 5 days. Should be an interesting trip. Papa has bought an Audi, so I'll get to check it out. They have also moved into the new crib which was pretty nice when I saw it last time. I will hopefully also go see some places in Malaysia, plus the FOOD - oh the heavenly food. I LUVZ the Asian cuisine, and as you can imagine, Malaysia has no shortage of it.
On the other hand, it can end up being a trip from hell too. After all, I am going to see my folks. Those meets have not always gone well in the past. There will always be things to argue about - mundane things like wear this shirt, not that one - or go work out for the 5 days you are here etc. etc. My money is on the trip landing up somewhere in the middle. There will obviously be some highly frustrating fights, and then there will be some genuinely pleasurable moments. Sadly, only time will tell.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Jodhaa Akbar - a review
I saw Jodhaa Akbar over the weekend. I must say, it is by far the worst movie made by Ashutosh Gowariker, and is certainly not deserving of the 7.7/10 (as of this post) rating on IMDB.
Let me start with the cinematography. It could not get more clichéd. The battle scenes were shot as all battle scenes in Indian movies have been shot - a small army of middle aged, pot bellied guys throwing down with swords which are moving slower than my grand mother running the New York marathon. Then there is the pan out from under each of the asshole's feet, for what feels like eternity. There is also that one asshole (usually one of the chief protagonists in the battle) who just stands there like a dumbfuck waiting for his ass to be split apart, but his stupid ass is never touched. While he is standing there, with his wide, gaping, pear shaped/sized eyes, not one man from the other side has the common sense to come over and chop him down. And then finally, there is the show-off shot. The camera pans from above the guys head, all the way down to the heel, while a heavy beat is playing in the background. There are other idiosyncrasies too, like people singing in one part of the palace, and the whole god damn place reverbating with that persons voice (them castles were not small back then).
Then come the screenplay & direction. How many times are you going to rinse and repeat the same old story of no love at the beginning of the marraige, only to see the wife stand by her husband by the time the end credits start rolling. It's like seeing a rotten apple, rot again (if that makes any sense). And seriously, what's with the sudden love of the male body in Indian movies. Om Shanti Om had Dard-E-Disco to show off SRK, Saawariya had some stupid song to show off the new kid Kapoor, and now this painful movie has a sword practice session to show off Hrithik Roshan. How do you not get that the male body has never been the one to be adored. I would have complained if a woman was shown in that way too, but at-least my second head wouldn't have. Also, what is with the dialogues. The language being used is so laborious, it actually hurts. I mean, why can't you show a couple talking normally, instead of always talking in code. Sure, the first time or two is cute, it gets irritating afterwards. If I were in such a marriage, I would run the fuck out. Also, again, what's with the clichéd scenes - sisters bursting out in a loud cry and falling by her brother's side when he dies. Did she really not know he was going to die, while he's lying down their gasping for air. And what about the asshole villain who is discussing his plan to annex all of India with a foot soldier - while the "good" bad guy is very conveniently overhearing his plans.
Finally, the acting is so tired and boring - it starts hurting more than an umbrella making it's way up your ass - slowly, waiting to be opened. Hrithik Roshan hardly looks like a King - I have not yet seen an Indian king who was as well built. They are all pot-bellied, middle-aged, married to 10 20-year old's idiots. He is Mughal. Yet he marries only one woman, and waits for her to start loving him. This may be the truth, but I find it hard to believe. And worst of all, he does not sound or feel royal while doing all this. He lacks the commanding voice, that presence, that gravitas. Don't even get me started about Aishwarya Rai. I have to admit though, there is some consolation in the fact that she looks HOT in the movie.
There were other stupid parts to the movie too. In the final battle scene, where "Akbar" is fighting the defector/betrayer for control of "Hindustan" each of the side's army looks like they have only 500 soldiers each. I mean, is my nations history so bad that wars for control of land was fought by 500 people only?? Surely not. The final duel between Akbar the the bad guy moves so slow that I would rather watch paint dry. One sword strikes, and whole 2 seconds later, the other's lands. I can fight faster man. Did you see Troy. At-least that fight between Eric Bana and Brad Pitt looked like 2 strong men, gladiators, fighting.
Epic fail, this movie. The image is less painful.
Let me start with the cinematography. It could not get more clichéd. The battle scenes were shot as all battle scenes in Indian movies have been shot - a small army of middle aged, pot bellied guys throwing down with swords which are moving slower than my grand mother running the New York marathon. Then there is the pan out from under each of the asshole's feet, for what feels like eternity. There is also that one asshole (usually one of the chief protagonists in the battle) who just stands there like a dumbfuck waiting for his ass to be split apart, but his stupid ass is never touched. While he is standing there, with his wide, gaping, pear shaped/sized eyes, not one man from the other side has the common sense to come over and chop him down. And then finally, there is the show-off shot. The camera pans from above the guys head, all the way down to the heel, while a heavy beat is playing in the background. There are other idiosyncrasies too, like people singing in one part of the palace, and the whole god damn place reverbating with that persons voice (them castles were not small back then).
Then come the screenplay & direction. How many times are you going to rinse and repeat the same old story of no love at the beginning of the marraige, only to see the wife stand by her husband by the time the end credits start rolling. It's like seeing a rotten apple, rot again (if that makes any sense). And seriously, what's with the sudden love of the male body in Indian movies. Om Shanti Om had Dard-E-Disco to show off SRK, Saawariya had some stupid song to show off the new kid Kapoor, and now this painful movie has a sword practice session to show off Hrithik Roshan. How do you not get that the male body has never been the one to be adored. I would have complained if a woman was shown in that way too, but at-least my second head wouldn't have. Also, what is with the dialogues. The language being used is so laborious, it actually hurts. I mean, why can't you show a couple talking normally, instead of always talking in code. Sure, the first time or two is cute, it gets irritating afterwards. If I were in such a marriage, I would run the fuck out. Also, again, what's with the clichéd scenes - sisters bursting out in a loud cry and falling by her brother's side when he dies. Did she really not know he was going to die, while he's lying down their gasping for air. And what about the asshole villain who is discussing his plan to annex all of India with a foot soldier - while the "good" bad guy is very conveniently overhearing his plans.
Finally, the acting is so tired and boring - it starts hurting more than an umbrella making it's way up your ass - slowly, waiting to be opened. Hrithik Roshan hardly looks like a King - I have not yet seen an Indian king who was as well built. They are all pot-bellied, middle-aged, married to 10 20-year old's idiots. He is Mughal. Yet he marries only one woman, and waits for her to start loving him. This may be the truth, but I find it hard to believe. And worst of all, he does not sound or feel royal while doing all this. He lacks the commanding voice, that presence, that gravitas. Don't even get me started about Aishwarya Rai. I have to admit though, there is some consolation in the fact that she looks HOT in the movie.
There were other stupid parts to the movie too. In the final battle scene, where "Akbar" is fighting the defector/betrayer for control of "Hindustan" each of the side's army looks like they have only 500 soldiers each. I mean, is my nations history so bad that wars for control of land was fought by 500 people only?? Surely not. The final duel between Akbar the the bad guy moves so slow that I would rather watch paint dry. One sword strikes, and whole 2 seconds later, the other's lands. I can fight faster man. Did you see Troy. At-least that fight between Eric Bana and Brad Pitt looked like 2 strong men, gladiators, fighting.
Epic fail, this movie. The image is less painful.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I don't know what to write about
Saturday evening rant - I'm lost for topics to write about. I'm tired of writing about my miseries, and nothing good happens that can be written about. Well, that's not entirely true - I'm going to see my folks the week after next. That is exciting - gives me something to look forward to :).
Life's been mundane otherwise. No good friends yet, no satisfaction from work....No! I will not let this turn into a rant.
...
...
...
I guess I'll stop writing now. Nothing else to write about :(.
Life's been mundane otherwise. No good friends yet, no satisfaction from work....No! I will not let this turn into a rant.
...
...
...
I guess I'll stop writing now. Nothing else to write about :(.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Oedipal & Electra complex
Just wanted to note something. A lot is made of the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. A lot of women also have issues with guys being "Mama's boys". I have however, always thought that this feeling goes both ways, and in extremes. You can either try to be (and in some extreme cases, want to fuck) like your parent of the opposite sex, or be exactly unlike them.
Now, in my opinion, the latter happens more often than the former (this is not a scientific statement, just a feeling - so don't quote me). It certainly is true in my case. I have always respected both my parents, but I have always seen many faults in them. And yeah, everyone has theirs, but then that's how you grow, learn from other's mistakes. I certainly have from my parents'.
Just thought I'd put it down.
Now, in my opinion, the latter happens more often than the former (this is not a scientific statement, just a feeling - so don't quote me). It certainly is true in my case. I have always respected both my parents, but I have always seen many faults in them. And yeah, everyone has theirs, but then that's how you grow, learn from other's mistakes. I certainly have from my parents'.
Just thought I'd put it down.
Why's it got to be like this ?! (the driving version)
I hate driving in India. I thought I'd put that up front. I hate it more than hemorrhoids, I hate it more than Rush Limbaugh and I hate it more than George bush.
Three classes of drivers come to mind when I talk about this subject:
Three classes of drivers come to mind when I talk about this subject:
- Auto Rickshaw drivers: These mofos are the worst. They drive like the road is all theirs; turning without warning, driving in the fast lane at 30 KM/h, cutting people off like nobody's business, and generally being dangerous. I think the one quality I hate the most about their driving is the fact that at red lights, or anywhere else where traffic might have slowed down, they will try to wriggle their rickety vehicles through the narrow gaps that exist - inevitably scratching or bumping into some other vehicle and then acting like the reincarnation of buddha - like it ain't no fault of theirs. And while we're on the subject, let me also add that these assholes are a pain in the ass to get a ride from. Most of them are theiving fucks who will regularly charge you well over the meter price to go from point A to B. I don't have the energy to list out the troubles, so go read this if you're interested - but suffice it to say that they are an overall bane to this society, not a boon.
- Taxi drivers: These are the second most hated class of drivers. They too act like the road is their daddy's - stick their hand out and everyone coming in the other direction must stop, cut people off like it don't matter what happens to the guy behind them, stop at places where they really shouldn't be - slowing down (and maybe even stopping) traffic for miles behind them, stand half way into a right (or left) turn waiting for some benevolent asshole to give them the way - or steal it from a not-so-good-in-indian-terms driver. The list goes on, but you get the point.
- Two-wheeler drivers: They are the 3'rd most hated - specifically 'cause they have nimble vehicles. Now this hate might be due to the fact that I am not used to driving with 2 wheel vehicles on the road (in my defense, you hardly see any of those on Texas roads) but hate them, I do. The fact that they constantly try to wriggle through a block of drivers, the fact that they will go onto pavements instead of waiting for the traffic to clear up, the fact that they will not leave an inch of space between themselves and me (etc. etc.) all frustrate me.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Into the Wild - continued
As posted earlier, I recently saw the movie Into the Wild. And as posted earlier, it raised quiet a few questions. One that struck me most (and I might add I've had in the back of my head for quiet a while now) was "Who am I". I have written about this earlier, but I'm still trying to figure out an answer.
It's no secret to those who know me, that I'm unhappy - and have been in that state for a while now. Part of it stems from the fact that I'm not entirely happy with the work I've been doing (I mean professionally), but more than that, I haven't been entirely happy with how I've been living my life. I don't have too many friends (though arguably, the ones I do are pretty good and we are close), I don't do things I know I should be doing (for example, get my PAN card, or go work out), I've never been in a relationship with someone that meant much of anything, I haven't travelled as much as I would have liked to, I haven't written anything nearly as good as I would have liked to, I haven't drawn anything, sung anything, or done anything remotely creative. I think that one of the things I hate more than anything else is being normal - conforming to the stereotypes - and I see myself as having become exactly that - a stereotype; working a 9-5 job, writing code, coming back home, and then being unhappy with myself. The only thing I hate more than conforming to said stereotype is not having the courage to pull myself out of it.
And this is where Into the Wild struck a chord with me. I saw a man, someone my age, get up and do what he wanted, a man who was brave enough to go out and grab what he wanted, without any fear or hesitations, without any second thoughts, without needing the approval of anyone (parents or otherwise). I see everything in Christopher that I want to be, yet am not.
I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to do half of what he did. I guess it's a scary thought - to actually find out who you are, what you're made of, how weak (or strong) you are. And maybe that plays in the back of my head too. Whatever be the reason for this cowardice though, I sincerely hope that I break out of it some day, and be who I am - whatever that is.
It's no secret to those who know me, that I'm unhappy - and have been in that state for a while now. Part of it stems from the fact that I'm not entirely happy with the work I've been doing (I mean professionally), but more than that, I haven't been entirely happy with how I've been living my life. I don't have too many friends (though arguably, the ones I do are pretty good and we are close), I don't do things I know I should be doing (for example, get my PAN card, or go work out), I've never been in a relationship with someone that meant much of anything, I haven't travelled as much as I would have liked to, I haven't written anything nearly as good as I would have liked to, I haven't drawn anything, sung anything, or done anything remotely creative. I think that one of the things I hate more than anything else is being normal - conforming to the stereotypes - and I see myself as having become exactly that - a stereotype; working a 9-5 job, writing code, coming back home, and then being unhappy with myself. The only thing I hate more than conforming to said stereotype is not having the courage to pull myself out of it.
And this is where Into the Wild struck a chord with me. I saw a man, someone my age, get up and do what he wanted, a man who was brave enough to go out and grab what he wanted, without any fear or hesitations, without any second thoughts, without needing the approval of anyone (parents or otherwise). I see everything in Christopher that I want to be, yet am not.
I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to do half of what he did. I guess it's a scary thought - to actually find out who you are, what you're made of, how weak (or strong) you are. And maybe that plays in the back of my head too. Whatever be the reason for this cowardice though, I sincerely hope that I break out of it some day, and be who I am - whatever that is.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Micheal Clayton - an attempt at a review.
I recently saw the movie Micheal Clayton and figured I'd write down my feelings/reactions to it.
To start off with, I loved the movie. It was definitely worthy of it's 7 oscar nominations. What I liked about the movie was that it didn't try to be a movie that preached to you. It lay the story out (one that has been played quiet a bit, I might add), through wonderful direction and acting (and everything that comes in between) and then let you take away what you wanted from it.
The characters were built to perfection - the main protagonist, Michael Clayton was displayed as being a lawyer at a high end NYC firm, one who should have had everything, but didn't. He was divorced, had a failed restaurant business, was broke and to top it off, was a very low profile (but important) member of his firm. They didn't try to make him into something he wasn't - a hero.
Arthur too, was very impressively written - the firms leading attorney in one of their biggest cases who has just suffered a mental breakdown (this is where the movie picks up) and hence, has just realized how unfruitfully he's been leading his life for the past decade - trying to defend a firm which was the cause of death of ~500 people. His soliloquy at the start of the film as well as when Michael sits down with him in the jail are some of the best parts of the movie.
Finally, Caren Crowder - the Chief counsel at the firm Arthur is defending was very well built and played too (in fact Tilda Swinton won as Oscar for her performance) - a soft-spoken, speaking in front of the mirror in the morning kind of a lady who knew what she wanted and went about it.
There aren't any specific moments in the film I can point to that stand out - but the feel of the overall film was such that you had a smile on your face when it ended. You felt like you could relate with the person and his actions, you felt like what he did, even though legally wrong was morally correct.
It was one of those movies that you could sit back and enjoy, and even though there is a scary message that resonates from it, there is also one that you can take some amount of comfort in - that there still are people who do the right thing; maybe not at the precise moment they should, but nevertheless, they end up doing the right thing.
Now don't get me wrong, the lawyer in me (so sometimes I think like a lawyer even if I ain't - so sue me) says that he should have been disbarred - lawyer client confidentiality is tantamount to the judicial system, I still ended up cheering for him.
I'm not sure if I've been able to put down my thoughts verbatim here (not reading books can do that to you), but I hope I've been able to explain my reasons for liking the film.
To start off with, I loved the movie. It was definitely worthy of it's 7 oscar nominations. What I liked about the movie was that it didn't try to be a movie that preached to you. It lay the story out (one that has been played quiet a bit, I might add), through wonderful direction and acting (and everything that comes in between) and then let you take away what you wanted from it.
The characters were built to perfection - the main protagonist, Michael Clayton was displayed as being a lawyer at a high end NYC firm, one who should have had everything, but didn't. He was divorced, had a failed restaurant business, was broke and to top it off, was a very low profile (but important) member of his firm. They didn't try to make him into something he wasn't - a hero.
Arthur too, was very impressively written - the firms leading attorney in one of their biggest cases who has just suffered a mental breakdown (this is where the movie picks up) and hence, has just realized how unfruitfully he's been leading his life for the past decade - trying to defend a firm which was the cause of death of ~500 people. His soliloquy at the start of the film as well as when Michael sits down with him in the jail are some of the best parts of the movie.
Finally, Caren Crowder - the Chief counsel at the firm Arthur is defending was very well built and played too (in fact Tilda Swinton won as Oscar for her performance) - a soft-spoken, speaking in front of the mirror in the morning kind of a lady who knew what she wanted and went about it.
There aren't any specific moments in the film I can point to that stand out - but the feel of the overall film was such that you had a smile on your face when it ended. You felt like you could relate with the person and his actions, you felt like what he did, even though legally wrong was morally correct.
It was one of those movies that you could sit back and enjoy, and even though there is a scary message that resonates from it, there is also one that you can take some amount of comfort in - that there still are people who do the right thing; maybe not at the precise moment they should, but nevertheless, they end up doing the right thing.
Now don't get me wrong, the lawyer in me (so sometimes I think like a lawyer even if I ain't - so sue me) says that he should have been disbarred - lawyer client confidentiality is tantamount to the judicial system, I still ended up cheering for him.
I'm not sure if I've been able to put down my thoughts verbatim here (not reading books can do that to you), but I hope I've been able to explain my reasons for liking the film.
Into the Wild - confessions
I recently saw the movie Into the Wild, and while it raised a few questions, It also made me accept something I had known for a while but was unwilling to acknowledge.
Summer '06 - I was supposed to graduate in May - only I didn't. My folks flew to Austin for the ceremony and all that, and I never went to it. That, to them, was very disappointing - till this date. Now, personally speaking, I never saw the whole point behind going to a ceremony to accept the fact that you have graduated - I knew I had graduated, and that was that - I didn't need to be handed out a diploma in front of a bunch of other people to know that fact. But, for my parents, it was a big deal - they wanted to see me walk down that aisle - accept that diploma, wear the regalia, throw my hat up in the air, have a photo of me with my diploma in hand and them by my side. But, due to my feelings on the subject, I never really saw theirs. I now realize that may not have been correct.
I would guess that for many parents, it would be a proud moment to see their kid graduate College - it's something they have worked for for quiet a while (I think this is certainly true of my parents), and then on D-day for your son to back out - would have been kind of sad. I can't lay claim to knowing my parent's emotions or feelings beyond the obvious knowledge gained through them complaining to me.
What I can do, and what I am here to do is say this - I'm sorry guys. I did not mean to disappoint you, I did not mean to not do this for you - It's just something I did - mostly because I had other plans. I wanted to study some more, I wanted to experience being in school some more, I wanted to enjoy going to class some more, I wanted to learn some more.
So, mea culpa, I hope some day you will understand and excuse me for my actions.
Summer '06 - I was supposed to graduate in May - only I didn't. My folks flew to Austin for the ceremony and all that, and I never went to it. That, to them, was very disappointing - till this date. Now, personally speaking, I never saw the whole point behind going to a ceremony to accept the fact that you have graduated - I knew I had graduated, and that was that - I didn't need to be handed out a diploma in front of a bunch of other people to know that fact. But, for my parents, it was a big deal - they wanted to see me walk down that aisle - accept that diploma, wear the regalia, throw my hat up in the air, have a photo of me with my diploma in hand and them by my side. But, due to my feelings on the subject, I never really saw theirs. I now realize that may not have been correct.
I would guess that for many parents, it would be a proud moment to see their kid graduate College - it's something they have worked for for quiet a while (I think this is certainly true of my parents), and then on D-day for your son to back out - would have been kind of sad. I can't lay claim to knowing my parent's emotions or feelings beyond the obvious knowledge gained through them complaining to me.
What I can do, and what I am here to do is say this - I'm sorry guys. I did not mean to disappoint you, I did not mean to not do this for you - It's just something I did - mostly because I had other plans. I wanted to study some more, I wanted to experience being in school some more, I wanted to enjoy going to class some more, I wanted to learn some more.
So, mea culpa, I hope some day you will understand and excuse me for my actions.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Why's it got to be like this (the net connection version)??
I don't get it - why is something as basic as getting a decent, uninterrupted net connection turning out to be such a chore?? I got Tata Indicom a couple weeks ago - and they turned out to be crap - and now I have applied for a BSNL connection - but have not heard from them yet either.
But besides my personal issues is the fact that for a large part, broadband connections are nowhere near where they need to be in India. The govt. defines a broadband connection in India as any connection that is on 24/7 and has a speed of 256kbps or up - note that is kbps, not KBps - which means that the nos. you will see while downloading shit will be ~30 (KBps).
This is absolute horseshit - no way in today's day and age can you define a connection downloading files at 30 KBps a broadband connection - broadband has to be at-least giving you download speeds of 100KBps - at least. The ideal situation would be more like 300-400, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. I mean, is it too much to ask for the standard gmail page to load up (not the plain HTML one - many of you living in the west might not even know that such a thing existed).
I think the problem in India is that no one has invested yet in laying down fiber optic lines - which means there is only so much bandwidth you can give a person - unless you start using unreliable and untested technologies like WiMax (which is what Tata Indicom has given me :(). Until WiMax becomes more reliable or these people lay down fibre optics - things will continue on like this.
Now, I'm not saying that laying down a network of fibre optic cables comes without issues, or that WiMax will never be feasible - but people need to try. Hell, in a city like Bangalore, which is dubbed India's Silicon Valley (hah..) - at least here, they can have fibre optics going - give the companies and the people who work in there, some hope...
But besides my personal issues is the fact that for a large part, broadband connections are nowhere near where they need to be in India. The govt. defines a broadband connection in India as any connection that is on 24/7 and has a speed of 256kbps or up - note that is kbps, not KBps - which means that the nos. you will see while downloading shit will be ~30 (KBps).
This is absolute horseshit - no way in today's day and age can you define a connection downloading files at 30 KBps a broadband connection - broadband has to be at-least giving you download speeds of 100KBps - at least. The ideal situation would be more like 300-400, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. I mean, is it too much to ask for the standard gmail page to load up (not the plain HTML one - many of you living in the west might not even know that such a thing existed).
I think the problem in India is that no one has invested yet in laying down fiber optic lines - which means there is only so much bandwidth you can give a person - unless you start using unreliable and untested technologies like WiMax (which is what Tata Indicom has given me :(). Until WiMax becomes more reliable or these people lay down fibre optics - things will continue on like this.
Now, I'm not saying that laying down a network of fibre optic cables comes without issues, or that WiMax will never be feasible - but people need to try. Hell, in a city like Bangalore, which is dubbed India's Silicon Valley (hah..) - at least here, they can have fibre optics going - give the companies and the people who work in there, some hope...
A new start
So, this is a new start. I will be blogging here in the future - the wordpress blog wasn't worth the money I was spending on it. So...
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