So it's been a while. Lot's has happened since the last time I posted an entry here. Most importantly, Obama won the race for the presidency of the US and became the 44'th and the first black president of the United States. In this time, I also visited Goa (twice), saw a close friend get married (a bit scary - we're all coming of age), saw the US go into recession, lost my partner (who shall remain anonymous, on his request) to the economy (or something else - I don't want to think too much about it), gave the GMAT - twice 'cause the first time around I got only 640 (second time around, I got 700), and celebrated my 24'th birthday (in-fact on the same day as my second GMAT exam). But, I also resigned my job at Agilent (one I've had for the past 15 months). My last day was today. I'm excited, not scared, optimistic, not pessimistic and interested in looking forward to what happens in the next few months.
Resigning from my job was long in the making. I had thought of it way back in august/september while discussing with R about our plans for out startup. It took me almost 6 months between first thinking about it and finally leaving my job. I guess there was some apprehension with the economy the way it was and all that. I also postponed my plans more than once 'cause of R and now even though he's no longer taking the plunge with me, I still feel this was the right choice for me. The fact is, I was no longer enjoying the work I was doing at Agilent - it was mundane, repetitive and sparse. Sure, there were moments of excitement and exhileration, but they were few and far between for me to justify staying on.
What was (and still is) surprising to me was how my folks supported me in this decision. I was not expecting it, so it came as a very pleasant surprise. As I have mentioned earlier, they have not always been the most supportive of my aspirations or decisions (and this is not me bitching, this is me appreciating them for showing me a different path, giving me choices I had not thought of) so them supporting me fully meant a lot to me.
As for my plans from here on out, I'm going to finish off my grad school applications before next weekend, which is when I fly out to Malaysia. Once there, I plan on working full time on making GovCheck a reality. The Indian General Elections are coming around so this should be a good time to launch a site like this. Additionally, it will be a good test for the idea - if it can't gain traction during an election cycle, then probably this idea isn't something that can be turned into a profitable business. I'll see how things go in the few months after the site's launch. If I feel it is succesfull (and I don't have a clear definition of what does succesfull mean), I will punt on grad school and continue working on it. If not, I'll go to grad school. And if I don't get into any of the schools I apply to, I will then start looking for jobs again, though I'm really really really hoping it doesn't come to that.
So that is an update for the day. I hope to take up blogging regularly again, but let's see if I can stick to that. All I can say is, right now, I'm excited for my future. I hope my efforts bear some fruit.
Showing posts with label being-happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being-happy. Show all posts
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, September 12, 2008
Blah...
I'm bored, don't have much to do, and can't think of an interesting topic to write about. So here's a brain dump.
I've been sick for the past week - a cold I caught last friday when the power went out at 1 in the morning, leading me in some hot & humid weather, to go take a shower at 2am, followed by me strolling on my balcony for an hour afterwards. The next morning, I woke up to a running nose, blocked sinus' and a sore throat. It got incrementally worse from there on out. I finally recovered enough this thursday to go back to work, only to find that my head hurt in the A/C there. My mother too, fell sick this week. She had to undergo a surgery for an "obstructing hernia". She's better now, but let's just say she gave us a scare for a little bit there. Fortunately, my dad was around and was able to handle things (he was supposed to go to Beijing the night my mom was diagnosed with the problem). There is now some discussion around me and Ayush going to KL when dad has to go to NYC (4'th - 14'th Oct). That might end up happening, in which case I'll have to take even more days off from work.
I've been reading a lot about Sarah Palin and the resurgent McCain campaign. I am a bit scared about how big of a bounce they've got from her selection. Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy was a 5 minute conversation with the average voter. He sure sounds right seeing the kind of reaction Palin is getting. As Matt Damon put it (quiet well, in my opinion) - it all seems like a bad Disney movie - where the hockey/soccer mom suddenly becomes the president. I truly am scared of seeing another Republican administration in power - I honestly do believe that it would be a very bad thing for the US and the entire world.
Back to personal issues, I've been fighting myself, trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing with my time, and life. I'm constantly conflicted about studying for the GRE, paying more attention to work, or working even harder on my project. I want to just go all out on the last of those, but for a myriad of reasons, am unable to yet. The major one, I think is 'cause I'm not getting the backing I feel I need to be able to do so. Support from my parents is luke warm, at best - and realistically, I don't expect more from them. But then there's R (he doesn't want his name out in the open) who has these bursts where all he'll discuss is how we grow this idea, and then completely stop talking about it for long periods of time (like we haven't spoken about any of this for the past 2 weeks). I'm trying to figure out if I think I can do this alone - but so far, I don't think I can. It's not that I need someone to help me write the code - that I'm confident I can do. It's that, I need someone who can prop me up - who has more confidence than I do in me (and in themselve). I also want to work with smart people, and I have always counted R as one of them - somebody smarter than me, whom I can learn a lot from. I guess, all I can do is hope things work out, but keep a back-up plan in case they don't. I honestly think I've come too far to give up now - I see this as my way out of the mundane life that is working for a company. I want to do my own thing - create something new - innovate - help people in their regular lives, and along the way, get some fulfillment.
I've been sick for the past week - a cold I caught last friday when the power went out at 1 in the morning, leading me in some hot & humid weather, to go take a shower at 2am, followed by me strolling on my balcony for an hour afterwards. The next morning, I woke up to a running nose, blocked sinus' and a sore throat. It got incrementally worse from there on out. I finally recovered enough this thursday to go back to work, only to find that my head hurt in the A/C there. My mother too, fell sick this week. She had to undergo a surgery for an "obstructing hernia". She's better now, but let's just say she gave us a scare for a little bit there. Fortunately, my dad was around and was able to handle things (he was supposed to go to Beijing the night my mom was diagnosed with the problem). There is now some discussion around me and Ayush going to KL when dad has to go to NYC (4'th - 14'th Oct). That might end up happening, in which case I'll have to take even more days off from work.
I've been reading a lot about Sarah Palin and the resurgent McCain campaign. I am a bit scared about how big of a bounce they've got from her selection. Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy was a 5 minute conversation with the average voter. He sure sounds right seeing the kind of reaction Palin is getting. As Matt Damon put it (quiet well, in my opinion) - it all seems like a bad Disney movie - where the hockey/soccer mom suddenly becomes the president. I truly am scared of seeing another Republican administration in power - I honestly do believe that it would be a very bad thing for the US and the entire world.
Back to personal issues, I've been fighting myself, trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing with my time, and life. I'm constantly conflicted about studying for the GRE, paying more attention to work, or working even harder on my project. I want to just go all out on the last of those, but for a myriad of reasons, am unable to yet. The major one, I think is 'cause I'm not getting the backing I feel I need to be able to do so. Support from my parents is luke warm, at best - and realistically, I don't expect more from them. But then there's R (he doesn't want his name out in the open) who has these bursts where all he'll discuss is how we grow this idea, and then completely stop talking about it for long periods of time (like we haven't spoken about any of this for the past 2 weeks). I'm trying to figure out if I think I can do this alone - but so far, I don't think I can. It's not that I need someone to help me write the code - that I'm confident I can do. It's that, I need someone who can prop me up - who has more confidence than I do in me (and in themselve). I also want to work with smart people, and I have always counted R as one of them - somebody smarter than me, whom I can learn a lot from. I guess, all I can do is hope things work out, but keep a back-up plan in case they don't. I honestly think I've come too far to give up now - I see this as my way out of the mundane life that is working for a company. I want to do my own thing - create something new - innovate - help people in their regular lives, and along the way, get some fulfillment.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Doing some of the things I enjoy doing
Today, after a long while, I did one of the things I used to (and apparently still do) enjoy doing - watching back-to-back episodes of TV shows. The day started off with a complete download of Season 3 of Weeds followed up by Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Now, I used to do something similar during my unemployment days immediately following graduation, and while those days (or should I say nights) were much more fulfilling (what with all the catching up that needed to be done with regards to The Sopranos and The West Wing), I had a bunch of fun today too. It's just one of those stupid, useless, waste-of-time things everyone likes to do - I just maybe push it to the extreme :). I remember that during those aforementioned days, I used to be nocturnal - stay up all night, go to bed at about 10am, get up around 6pm. Those two months were some of the most fun of my life.
Anyways, so watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl made me realize something - perhaps some of the rigidness in Indian Society is a backdraft from the English Society. I mean I would have never guessed somebody could be so uptight about having sex with a hooker in today's day and age. I mean sure, a man needs to be taken care of and all that, but to ensure that your hair is done just right, paint yourself with enough make-up to make the lady in the Statue of Liberty look not-ugly, do the bed sheets just right, carry 10 condoms with you everywhere you go (ok, this I can reconcile with) etc. etc. seems like something only the English can do. But that's not all. Watching the show (and I have to admit, this is one of the first British TV shows I have watched), I did get a sense of express superiority by the leading protagonist - she kept mentioning the fact that she was educated, she was "high class", expensive, had done her A-levels in this and that et al. Just made me feel that some of the pride Indian folks feel to in such superficial arenas comes from the fact that our rulers had a similar bend of mind. No wonder we are still stuck with so many of the UK's mistakes - when we can't even fix this one.
I realize that I'm not make a whole lot of sense - it's 3am here so excuse me for that - but I just thought I'd note these thoughts down.
Anyways, so watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl made me realize something - perhaps some of the rigidness in Indian Society is a backdraft from the English Society. I mean I would have never guessed somebody could be so uptight about having sex with a hooker in today's day and age. I mean sure, a man needs to be taken care of and all that, but to ensure that your hair is done just right, paint yourself with enough make-up to make the lady in the Statue of Liberty look not-ugly, do the bed sheets just right, carry 10 condoms with you everywhere you go (ok, this I can reconcile with) etc. etc. seems like something only the English can do. But that's not all. Watching the show (and I have to admit, this is one of the first British TV shows I have watched), I did get a sense of express superiority by the leading protagonist - she kept mentioning the fact that she was educated, she was "high class", expensive, had done her A-levels in this and that et al. Just made me feel that some of the pride Indian folks feel to in such superficial arenas comes from the fact that our rulers had a similar bend of mind. No wonder we are still stuck with so many of the UK's mistakes - when we can't even fix this one.
I realize that I'm not make a whole lot of sense - it's 3am here so excuse me for that - but I just thought I'd note these thoughts down.
Friday, June 6, 2008
About that trip to Malaysia
So, I got back last Sunday from a week's trip to Malaysia. It was an interesting trip - started with a thunder, ended with a whimper.
We reached on Saturday, and left for a beach resort in the South China Sea on Sunday (early Sunday morning). The beach and it's surroundings were everything I had imagined - clear blue water, amazing coral reefs, relaxing atmosphere, not too crowded and good food. A new thing I learned/did while there was snorkeling - took me a few tries to get the hang of it, but once I did, it was one of the most fun, exciting and interesting things I have ever done. Seeing those beautiful corals, and swimming among the fish like you were one of them was truly amazing.
A side effect of the water, or fish, or corals or the sun (take your pick) was that I had a pretty bad allergic reaction/sun-burn on my last day there. I had weird looking boils all over my face and down my back - which made me look like the second coming of Frankenstein. I visited the doctor on our arrival back to KL who gave me a couple of pills and some gel to apply to the affected spots. They cleared up in a couple days, but for that time, I had locked myself in the house - too conscious to go out - even to the local grocery store.
So anyways, the trip, up until Tuesday evening was god fun. Then came family - first my mother's sister, and then my cousin sister (with 2/3 of her kids in tow). Their arrival played a bit of party pooper. I guess meeting them after all this time was fun too - but I think I would have enjoyed it more had we been alone - just for four of us. We didn't do much after Tuesday - some shopping, some sightseeing, some talking and then some more shopping. Anyways, it was a pretty long trip (I was there for a total of 9 days) so I guess I couldn't have expected all those days to be as rosy as the first few.
One of the things that I was looking forward to the most was seeing my brother after a while. I had this notion (perhaps misguided) that we'd be the same as we were back in Austin - when he was living w/ me for a couple of months. That didn't end up happening. We were squabbling often, didn't talk all that much, I was regularly pissed at him and in general was not enjoying this time together as much as I did our time in Austin. Perhaps that notion that our relationship had changed was wrong - or maybe I was just looking at it through rose tinted glasses - either way, I was hoping for a ecstatic reunion, but it ended up being less than that.
Well, in anycase, the trip was an overall success - it was nice having all 4 of us together, after quiet a long time - and given the prospect that it'll probably be just as long before we are together again, I guess it was one to cherish.
We reached on Saturday, and left for a beach resort in the South China Sea on Sunday (early Sunday morning). The beach and it's surroundings were everything I had imagined - clear blue water, amazing coral reefs, relaxing atmosphere, not too crowded and good food. A new thing I learned/did while there was snorkeling - took me a few tries to get the hang of it, but once I did, it was one of the most fun, exciting and interesting things I have ever done. Seeing those beautiful corals, and swimming among the fish like you were one of them was truly amazing.
A side effect of the water, or fish, or corals or the sun (take your pick) was that I had a pretty bad allergic reaction/sun-burn on my last day there. I had weird looking boils all over my face and down my back - which made me look like the second coming of Frankenstein. I visited the doctor on our arrival back to KL who gave me a couple of pills and some gel to apply to the affected spots. They cleared up in a couple days, but for that time, I had locked myself in the house - too conscious to go out - even to the local grocery store.
So anyways, the trip, up until Tuesday evening was god fun. Then came family - first my mother's sister, and then my cousin sister (with 2/3 of her kids in tow). Their arrival played a bit of party pooper. I guess meeting them after all this time was fun too - but I think I would have enjoyed it more had we been alone - just for four of us. We didn't do much after Tuesday - some shopping, some sightseeing, some talking and then some more shopping. Anyways, it was a pretty long trip (I was there for a total of 9 days) so I guess I couldn't have expected all those days to be as rosy as the first few.
One of the things that I was looking forward to the most was seeing my brother after a while. I had this notion (perhaps misguided) that we'd be the same as we were back in Austin - when he was living w/ me for a couple of months. That didn't end up happening. We were squabbling often, didn't talk all that much, I was regularly pissed at him and in general was not enjoying this time together as much as I did our time in Austin. Perhaps that notion that our relationship had changed was wrong - or maybe I was just looking at it through rose tinted glasses - either way, I was hoping for a ecstatic reunion, but it ended up being less than that.
Well, in anycase, the trip was an overall success - it was nice having all 4 of us together, after quiet a long time - and given the prospect that it'll probably be just as long before we are together again, I guess it was one to cherish.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Been a long week
And it's only half over yet. It was the week when one of the work's migration projects went live, demos were made, and my boss took off to greener pastures.
Anyways, I ain't complaining. I had shit to do :) - and I enjoyed doing it. Now comes a long weekend - tomorrow is off and I'll take friday, make it into a four day weekend and go to Coorg with Sidd and company. Should be interesting - though we don't have any place to live at yet - could be a sticky issue. I'll try to keep twitter going - unfortunately I don't have a camera so there won't be any pictures out of the trip - save the ones coming from my phone.
Life's been the same otherwise - I'm investigating a few things - trying to see if they work out. The problem with doing shit like that is that when shit don't work out, life just starts feeling like a bigger bitch that it really is. I can't somehow keep my expectations down from my own life.
Anyways, that's that for now - will update after the weekend most probably - unless we don't make it there for some reason.
Anyways, I ain't complaining. I had shit to do :) - and I enjoyed doing it. Now comes a long weekend - tomorrow is off and I'll take friday, make it into a four day weekend and go to Coorg with Sidd and company. Should be interesting - though we don't have any place to live at yet - could be a sticky issue. I'll try to keep twitter going - unfortunately I don't have a camera so there won't be any pictures out of the trip - save the ones coming from my phone.
Life's been the same otherwise - I'm investigating a few things - trying to see if they work out. The problem with doing shit like that is that when shit don't work out, life just starts feeling like a bigger bitch that it really is. I can't somehow keep my expectations down from my own life.
Anyways, that's that for now - will update after the weekend most probably - unless we don't make it there for some reason.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
WoW has lost it's luster
I have been a big fan for almost a year and a half now. However, in recent days, the games fandom has lost a citizen. My game play has gone from 2-3 hours/day to <1hour/week. For those who know me, this would seem like a miracle - I used to be totally engrossed in the game, and now I'm not. Let me recount the reasons.
For a while, I had been feeling disillusioned with the game. Nay, not the game, but the group of people (Guild) I play with. I had seen some politicking happening, people were saying something and doing something tangentially different, were recruiting new members without any respect for the group or the older guys etc. etc. The reason all this pissed me off was 'cause my main reason for playing the game wasn't the game itself, but the community surrounding it, and the few friends I had made in that virtual world. All that was breaking down now. All this had, hence, made me reduce my game play time by a little, but not too much.
Then I went to KL to visit my folks, my laptop's charger fried, and I was left without my machine for ~2 weeks. That was what broke the camel's back. I didn't miss not playing during those 2 weeks - in-fact, for some reason, I enjoyed the absence of the game. I read, slept, and did other shit I liked (or didn't...). All this meant that when I did finally have the use of my laptop again, WoW wasn't the first thing I started (like I would have done in the past). Instead, I went about doing other things - catch up on news, read blogs, learn some new systems etc. Now it's come to a place where in the last month, I have only attended the weekly guild night and haven't played the game outside of that. Most I have done other than that one morning of game play is hit the Auction house and sell all my shit. It's funny how I was broke when I was playing and now that I'm not anymore, I'm kinda rich :).
Anyways, I'm happy with this change, for now anyways. I don't feel the urge to play the game anymore. I can manage without it, and that's what I'm doing :).
For a while, I had been feeling disillusioned with the game. Nay, not the game, but the group of people (Guild) I play with. I had seen some politicking happening, people were saying something and doing something tangentially different, were recruiting new members without any respect for the group or the older guys etc. etc. The reason all this pissed me off was 'cause my main reason for playing the game wasn't the game itself, but the community surrounding it, and the few friends I had made in that virtual world. All that was breaking down now. All this had, hence, made me reduce my game play time by a little, but not too much.
Then I went to KL to visit my folks, my laptop's charger fried, and I was left without my machine for ~2 weeks. That was what broke the camel's back. I didn't miss not playing during those 2 weeks - in-fact, for some reason, I enjoyed the absence of the game. I read, slept, and did other shit I liked (or didn't...). All this meant that when I did finally have the use of my laptop again, WoW wasn't the first thing I started (like I would have done in the past). Instead, I went about doing other things - catch up on news, read blogs, learn some new systems etc. Now it's come to a place where in the last month, I have only attended the weekly guild night and haven't played the game outside of that. Most I have done other than that one morning of game play is hit the Auction house and sell all my shit. It's funny how I was broke when I was playing and now that I'm not anymore, I'm kinda rich :).
Anyways, I'm happy with this change, for now anyways. I don't feel the urge to play the game anymore. I can manage without it, and that's what I'm doing :).
Thursday, March 27, 2008
This is abnormal
I'm not sure why, but I've been happier than usualy these past few days. In fact, ever since I flew for KL, I have been happier, chirpier, merrier etc. etc. (maybe I was just projecting this onto my parents too - maybe they are no happier than when they were in Holland of Switzerland).
It's odd, not feeling like shit while driving to work, or driving back home. It's odd, not cursing at every asshole who cuts you off on the road. It's odd, not worrying about how I'm going to change things around. It's all very odd.
Maybe this comes from my readings - BTW, I finished reading memoirs, and I have words to write about that, or maybe it comes from me having found something to do outside of work, or maybe I just don't give a shit anymore (in which case, it definitely is subconcious).
In any case, it feels good to be not miserable :).
It's odd, not feeling like shit while driving to work, or driving back home. It's odd, not cursing at every asshole who cuts you off on the road. It's odd, not worrying about how I'm going to change things around. It's all very odd.
Maybe this comes from my readings - BTW, I finished reading memoirs, and I have words to write about that, or maybe it comes from me having found something to do outside of work, or maybe I just don't give a shit anymore (in which case, it definitely is subconcious).
In any case, it feels good to be not miserable :).
Monday, March 24, 2008
A nice time in KL
I got back from visiting KL last night, and it has to be said, it was one of the best visits I've had with my folks. Primarily 'cause there was no fighting or squabbling involved, but also probably because I was waiting to get out of Bangalore, and these past 5 days provided an excellent outlet.
We didn't do much, just went out of town on thursday to a "resort" which had various themed parts. One was french (which really wasn't) while another was Japanese. The latter was quiet impressive. We got to see a traditional Japanese house, where a women was sitting all dressed up in her Kimono. We had the option to go get some tea in traditional Japanese style but I refused (I have issues with people just attending to me - I don't like too much attention I guess). The rest of the days were spent shopping, driving within the city, or otherwise just hanging at home.
Which brings me to another point - my folks now have one of the sweetest pads I have seen in my life. It sits on the 16'th floor, overlooking the city and the hills in the background. The house is spacious, which helps with their surround sound TV. The kitchen is probably bigger than my living room. They also seem to be happier than before. I have never seen my dad this chirpy, or my mom as merry (what with her dancing and singing and all that). I had thought that with all the stress that accompanies managing the audit work for 25 countries, my dad would be stressed out beyond recognition, but, it was the opposite. He seemed calm, happy and was enjoying the things he did. Maybe he was the same back in The Hague/Geneva, but I have to say he was noticeably more perky this time around.
Finally, on a somber note, my laptop charger went for a toss out there. The first day was fine, but the second day, while I was setting it up, I heard a distinctive noise, which, as soon as I had heard it, I knew what had happened. I was worried that maybe the laptop itself had lost it's abilities to charge (:)), but fortunately, it was only the charger that had fucked up. So now I have to go buy a new one, or get this one fixed. On the plus side though, it allows me to start reading again, which I have wanted to do for a long time. So, I picked up a bunch of books from my folks place and have started the process off with reading Memoirs of a Geisha. That is what my next post will be about.
We didn't do much, just went out of town on thursday to a "resort" which had various themed parts. One was french (which really wasn't) while another was Japanese. The latter was quiet impressive. We got to see a traditional Japanese house, where a women was sitting all dressed up in her Kimono. We had the option to go get some tea in traditional Japanese style but I refused (I have issues with people just attending to me - I don't like too much attention I guess). The rest of the days were spent shopping, driving within the city, or otherwise just hanging at home.
Which brings me to another point - my folks now have one of the sweetest pads I have seen in my life. It sits on the 16'th floor, overlooking the city and the hills in the background. The house is spacious, which helps with their surround sound TV. The kitchen is probably bigger than my living room. They also seem to be happier than before. I have never seen my dad this chirpy, or my mom as merry (what with her dancing and singing and all that). I had thought that with all the stress that accompanies managing the audit work for 25 countries, my dad would be stressed out beyond recognition, but, it was the opposite. He seemed calm, happy and was enjoying the things he did. Maybe he was the same back in The Hague/Geneva, but I have to say he was noticeably more perky this time around.
Finally, on a somber note, my laptop charger went for a toss out there. The first day was fine, but the second day, while I was setting it up, I heard a distinctive noise, which, as soon as I had heard it, I knew what had happened. I was worried that maybe the laptop itself had lost it's abilities to charge (:)), but fortunately, it was only the charger that had fucked up. So now I have to go buy a new one, or get this one fixed. On the plus side though, it allows me to start reading again, which I have wanted to do for a long time. So, I picked up a bunch of books from my folks place and have started the process off with reading Memoirs of a Geisha. That is what my next post will be about.
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