I'm bored, don't have much to do, and can't think of an interesting topic to write about. So here's a brain dump.
I've been sick for the past week - a cold I caught last friday when the power went out at 1 in the morning, leading me in some hot & humid weather, to go take a shower at 2am, followed by me strolling on my balcony for an hour afterwards. The next morning, I woke up to a running nose, blocked sinus' and a sore throat. It got incrementally worse from there on out. I finally recovered enough this thursday to go back to work, only to find that my head hurt in the A/C there. My mother too, fell sick this week. She had to undergo a surgery for an "obstructing hernia". She's better now, but let's just say she gave us a scare for a little bit there. Fortunately, my dad was around and was able to handle things (he was supposed to go to Beijing the night my mom was diagnosed with the problem). There is now some discussion around me and Ayush going to KL when dad has to go to NYC (4'th - 14'th Oct). That might end up happening, in which case I'll have to take even more days off from work.
I've been reading a lot about Sarah Palin and the resurgent McCain campaign. I am a bit scared about how big of a bounce they've got from her selection. Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy was a 5 minute conversation with the average voter. He sure sounds right seeing the kind of reaction Palin is getting. As Matt Damon put it (quiet well, in my opinion) - it all seems like a bad Disney movie - where the hockey/soccer mom suddenly becomes the president. I truly am scared of seeing another Republican administration in power - I honestly do believe that it would be a very bad thing for the US and the entire world.
Back to personal issues, I've been fighting myself, trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing with my time, and life. I'm constantly conflicted about studying for the GRE, paying more attention to work, or working even harder on my project. I want to just go all out on the last of those, but for a myriad of reasons, am unable to yet. The major one, I think is 'cause I'm not getting the backing I feel I need to be able to do so. Support from my parents is luke warm, at best - and realistically, I don't expect more from them. But then there's R (he doesn't want his name out in the open) who has these bursts where all he'll discuss is how we grow this idea, and then completely stop talking about it for long periods of time (like we haven't spoken about any of this for the past 2 weeks). I'm trying to figure out if I think I can do this alone - but so far, I don't think I can. It's not that I need someone to help me write the code - that I'm confident I can do. It's that, I need someone who can prop me up - who has more confidence than I do in me (and in themselve). I also want to work with smart people, and I have always counted R as one of them - somebody smarter than me, whom I can learn a lot from. I guess, all I can do is hope things work out, but keep a back-up plan in case they don't. I honestly think I've come too far to give up now - I see this as my way out of the mundane life that is working for a company. I want to do my own thing - create something new - innovate - help people in their regular lives, and along the way, get some fulfillment.
Showing posts with label random-thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random-thoughts. Show all posts
Friday, September 12, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Why NYC is my favorite city on this planet
I have often said, and been rebuked for saying, that the Big Apple is my favorite city on this planet. People often ask me why that is so, and I'm never able to give a wholly convincing argument - so here is an attempt in that direction.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that while I have lived in NYC for upto 3 weeks at a go, most of my visits have involved me living there for not longer than 2-3 days - always as a tourist. Mileage may vary for the people who have actually lived in the city.
To understand my undying love for NYC, we must go all the way back to the summer of '95. This was the first time I had left India - and guess which city I went to first?? I had been warned by my dad before arriving there that the place was just as dirty as Delhi and that I might indeed be disappointed once I got there. But, I wasn't. I remember falling in love with it during our drive back from JFK. I remember peeping out the window of our cab, admiring the huge glass buildings, the no. of cars on the roads, the long bridge with two levels (I think) that we were driving on. Imagine me as Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2 - when he first arrives in the city riding in on a cab. I was him - and I was loving every moment of it. The 3 weeks we spent there were just as much fun too. I don't remember spending much time with my dad (he was constantly at work), but my mother, brother and me had one of the best vacations I remember. We must have walked more miles in those 3 weeks than we did our entire lives before then. We covered everything from Central Park to the Wall Street to liberty island. We had coke in cans, and nice nike shoes, and a new remote controlled car. We had the nice weather (coming from Delhi in the summer - you can imagine), the friendly people (I remember dropping my coke in a McD's and the manager giving me a new one - on the house), the diversity of faces, the subways, the buses, the yellow cabs, the ferries to Liberty and Ellis island, the Empire State Building, the New York Style pizza etc. etc.
That trip was where it all started, but by no means is it the only source of love for that city. My next visit to the city came once I had moved to the states for college. Me and a few friends went on a crazy road trip our first spring break at UT. We lived in the city for 3 days and then went up to Boston. But those 3 days were amazing too - we walked up to Central Park and down to the Wall Street. We saw the Empire state building and the City Hall. We walked through the village and China Town. We saw our first apple store across from the NYU. I experienced our first police stop in the city. I saw my first snow fall in the US there.
I went there a couple more times too - when my folks had come to my brothers college for all of us to meet up, or me and my friends going there for new year's '07 (that was one crazy night). And then finally, before I left the US to come back to India, in Oct '07. NYC was my last stop - my final encore - the last city I was in, in the country I had called home for the past 5 years. That trip was memorable too (for many good and some not-so-good reasons). But what I remember most, was my drive to the airport from my cousins dorm room. There was nobody riding with me - and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I was taking in the city, the country, the people - one last time - not knowing when I would be back. And I remembered then, my first time driving into the city - only this time the buildings were getting smaller, not bigger.
However I might describe my feelings for NYC, most people won't understand it - and I don't expect them to. It is my favorite city in the world for personal reasons - they all have theirs. All I want to say is this - go visit NYC, live there for a bit, walk it's streets, talk to the people there, eat the pizza there, ride on the subway there. Then maybe you might fall in love with the city, just as I have.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that while I have lived in NYC for upto 3 weeks at a go, most of my visits have involved me living there for not longer than 2-3 days - always as a tourist. Mileage may vary for the people who have actually lived in the city.
To understand my undying love for NYC, we must go all the way back to the summer of '95. This was the first time I had left India - and guess which city I went to first?? I had been warned by my dad before arriving there that the place was just as dirty as Delhi and that I might indeed be disappointed once I got there. But, I wasn't. I remember falling in love with it during our drive back from JFK. I remember peeping out the window of our cab, admiring the huge glass buildings, the no. of cars on the roads, the long bridge with two levels (I think) that we were driving on. Imagine me as Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2 - when he first arrives in the city riding in on a cab. I was him - and I was loving every moment of it. The 3 weeks we spent there were just as much fun too. I don't remember spending much time with my dad (he was constantly at work), but my mother, brother and me had one of the best vacations I remember. We must have walked more miles in those 3 weeks than we did our entire lives before then. We covered everything from Central Park to the Wall Street to liberty island. We had coke in cans, and nice nike shoes, and a new remote controlled car. We had the nice weather (coming from Delhi in the summer - you can imagine), the friendly people (I remember dropping my coke in a McD's and the manager giving me a new one - on the house), the diversity of faces, the subways, the buses, the yellow cabs, the ferries to Liberty and Ellis island, the Empire State Building, the New York Style pizza etc. etc.
That trip was where it all started, but by no means is it the only source of love for that city. My next visit to the city came once I had moved to the states for college. Me and a few friends went on a crazy road trip our first spring break at UT. We lived in the city for 3 days and then went up to Boston. But those 3 days were amazing too - we walked up to Central Park and down to the Wall Street. We saw the Empire state building and the City Hall. We walked through the village and China Town. We saw our first apple store across from the NYU. I experienced our first police stop in the city. I saw my first snow fall in the US there.
I went there a couple more times too - when my folks had come to my brothers college for all of us to meet up, or me and my friends going there for new year's '07 (that was one crazy night). And then finally, before I left the US to come back to India, in Oct '07. NYC was my last stop - my final encore - the last city I was in, in the country I had called home for the past 5 years. That trip was memorable too (for many good and some not-so-good reasons). But what I remember most, was my drive to the airport from my cousins dorm room. There was nobody riding with me - and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I was taking in the city, the country, the people - one last time - not knowing when I would be back. And I remembered then, my first time driving into the city - only this time the buildings were getting smaller, not bigger.
However I might describe my feelings for NYC, most people won't understand it - and I don't expect them to. It is my favorite city in the world for personal reasons - they all have theirs. All I want to say is this - go visit NYC, live there for a bit, walk it's streets, talk to the people there, eat the pizza there, ride on the subway there. Then maybe you might fall in love with the city, just as I have.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Doing some of the things I enjoy doing
Today, after a long while, I did one of the things I used to (and apparently still do) enjoy doing - watching back-to-back episodes of TV shows. The day started off with a complete download of Season 3 of Weeds followed up by Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Now, I used to do something similar during my unemployment days immediately following graduation, and while those days (or should I say nights) were much more fulfilling (what with all the catching up that needed to be done with regards to The Sopranos and The West Wing), I had a bunch of fun today too. It's just one of those stupid, useless, waste-of-time things everyone likes to do - I just maybe push it to the extreme :). I remember that during those aforementioned days, I used to be nocturnal - stay up all night, go to bed at about 10am, get up around 6pm. Those two months were some of the most fun of my life.
Anyways, so watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl made me realize something - perhaps some of the rigidness in Indian Society is a backdraft from the English Society. I mean I would have never guessed somebody could be so uptight about having sex with a hooker in today's day and age. I mean sure, a man needs to be taken care of and all that, but to ensure that your hair is done just right, paint yourself with enough make-up to make the lady in the Statue of Liberty look not-ugly, do the bed sheets just right, carry 10 condoms with you everywhere you go (ok, this I can reconcile with) etc. etc. seems like something only the English can do. But that's not all. Watching the show (and I have to admit, this is one of the first British TV shows I have watched), I did get a sense of express superiority by the leading protagonist - she kept mentioning the fact that she was educated, she was "high class", expensive, had done her A-levels in this and that et al. Just made me feel that some of the pride Indian folks feel to in such superficial arenas comes from the fact that our rulers had a similar bend of mind. No wonder we are still stuck with so many of the UK's mistakes - when we can't even fix this one.
I realize that I'm not make a whole lot of sense - it's 3am here so excuse me for that - but I just thought I'd note these thoughts down.
Anyways, so watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl made me realize something - perhaps some of the rigidness in Indian Society is a backdraft from the English Society. I mean I would have never guessed somebody could be so uptight about having sex with a hooker in today's day and age. I mean sure, a man needs to be taken care of and all that, but to ensure that your hair is done just right, paint yourself with enough make-up to make the lady in the Statue of Liberty look not-ugly, do the bed sheets just right, carry 10 condoms with you everywhere you go (ok, this I can reconcile with) etc. etc. seems like something only the English can do. But that's not all. Watching the show (and I have to admit, this is one of the first British TV shows I have watched), I did get a sense of express superiority by the leading protagonist - she kept mentioning the fact that she was educated, she was "high class", expensive, had done her A-levels in this and that et al. Just made me feel that some of the pride Indian folks feel to in such superficial arenas comes from the fact that our rulers had a similar bend of mind. No wonder we are still stuck with so many of the UK's mistakes - when we can't even fix this one.
I realize that I'm not make a whole lot of sense - it's 3am here so excuse me for that - but I just thought I'd note these thoughts down.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Of scary incidents and the ensuing revelations
So, my cousin met with an accident last weekend. He had got out his car and was crossing the street when a biker hit him and then dragged him along the road for a bit. He suffered a broken collar bone, had to get 10 stitches on his head and can't eat solid food (due to some torn muscles in his mouth/jaw) for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, his wife and parents-in-law were with him during this incident and were able to rush him to a nearby hospital. I got the call a couple hours after the incident and had a pretty terrified drive up to the place. Meeting with my sister-in-law, whose clothes were drenched in blood, was a pretty scary moment - I was praying at that point that nothing too bad had happened. Fortunately, my fears were alleviated as I entered his room - he seemed to be ok (besides the arm in a sling and a bandage going across his head) and continues to improve.
This was, however, a scary revelation for me. I guess I've always been scared about having an accident in India - emergency health care isn't all that good here. But this incident sort of brought those fears to the fore. I realised that if I ever have an accident like this, in most probabilities, I won't have anyone with me to look after me, especially in the moments immediately following the event. There will of-course be on-lookers and good samaritans, but it's still scary to me that I will have to rely on them in such circumstances.
I had similar thoughts in the U.S., but I used to feel some amount of comfort knowing there were friends around to help out - Dada and Deebu were around. And if not them, then co-workers. I, for some odd reason, do not feel as comfortable in Bangalore - I have friends here, fuck, I have family here, and yet I'm anxious about ever being in a similar situation.
I guess all I can do is be vigilant, and hope there's someone around in my need of hour.
This was, however, a scary revelation for me. I guess I've always been scared about having an accident in India - emergency health care isn't all that good here. But this incident sort of brought those fears to the fore. I realised that if I ever have an accident like this, in most probabilities, I won't have anyone with me to look after me, especially in the moments immediately following the event. There will of-course be on-lookers and good samaritans, but it's still scary to me that I will have to rely on them in such circumstances.
I had similar thoughts in the U.S., but I used to feel some amount of comfort knowing there were friends around to help out - Dada and Deebu were around. And if not them, then co-workers. I, for some odd reason, do not feel as comfortable in Bangalore - I have friends here, fuck, I have family here, and yet I'm anxious about ever being in a similar situation.
I guess all I can do is be vigilant, and hope there's someone around in my need of hour.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Been a long week
And it's only half over yet. It was the week when one of the work's migration projects went live, demos were made, and my boss took off to greener pastures.
Anyways, I ain't complaining. I had shit to do :) - and I enjoyed doing it. Now comes a long weekend - tomorrow is off and I'll take friday, make it into a four day weekend and go to Coorg with Sidd and company. Should be interesting - though we don't have any place to live at yet - could be a sticky issue. I'll try to keep twitter going - unfortunately I don't have a camera so there won't be any pictures out of the trip - save the ones coming from my phone.
Life's been the same otherwise - I'm investigating a few things - trying to see if they work out. The problem with doing shit like that is that when shit don't work out, life just starts feeling like a bigger bitch that it really is. I can't somehow keep my expectations down from my own life.
Anyways, that's that for now - will update after the weekend most probably - unless we don't make it there for some reason.
Anyways, I ain't complaining. I had shit to do :) - and I enjoyed doing it. Now comes a long weekend - tomorrow is off and I'll take friday, make it into a four day weekend and go to Coorg with Sidd and company. Should be interesting - though we don't have any place to live at yet - could be a sticky issue. I'll try to keep twitter going - unfortunately I don't have a camera so there won't be any pictures out of the trip - save the ones coming from my phone.
Life's been the same otherwise - I'm investigating a few things - trying to see if they work out. The problem with doing shit like that is that when shit don't work out, life just starts feeling like a bigger bitch that it really is. I can't somehow keep my expectations down from my own life.
Anyways, that's that for now - will update after the weekend most probably - unless we don't make it there for some reason.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
A (rare) thank you to my parents
Not much to report on - the django bit is going well, as is learning some more python. Both are quiet entertaining too, I might add. Work is slow as ever. Life is slow as ever.
I was thinking about my folks the other day. I do complain about them - and most of those complains aren't baseless - they can be corroborated. But one thing I have to commend them on, and more than that, thank them for is never leaving us hanging. I mean this in general terms, but in this specific instance, I am talking about the financial support they have always given us. I am not talking about them paying our way through high school or college (in my opinion, that is a parent's responsibility - to pay for at-least 4 years of education post high-school - I plan to be ready for that) but of their extra curricular support. All through college, I never had to worry about having too little money, or not doing something I wanted to do, or not enjoying the most of college that I could - because I knew that if I were ever in trouble, my folks would be there - like a pillar - to always support me. Even now, when I moved to India and didn't have too much money to do and buy everything I wanted, they never hesitated to give me all that I asked for - and more. And I personally feel that I've been shameless about asking them to buy me things that I didn't really need, things that were pure luxury - like a new car. Yet they never hesitated, never made me think that I was asking for too much, that I was asking for something that wasn't meant for me.
And to actually broaden on this, both my parents have played the role of support structures to perfection. You know what they say about being around your parents - it makes you feel like a kid. Some people don't have that feeling, but I still do, and while I complain and give myself a hard time about allowing that, deep inside me, somewhere hidden, it gives me great comfort - I like feeling like a kid, feeling that my parents are always there - to take care of everything - fix everything (I might be overdoing this a little - to the point of making myself look like a mama's boy or some-such, but this is just to give an idea).
I remember when I first went to college, among other things, my dad told me this - always remember, there are very few problems that cannot be solved with money. I still hold that to heart - and I thank the gods that I have him, nay them, around to always support me in such times.
I was thinking about my folks the other day. I do complain about them - and most of those complains aren't baseless - they can be corroborated. But one thing I have to commend them on, and more than that, thank them for is never leaving us hanging. I mean this in general terms, but in this specific instance, I am talking about the financial support they have always given us. I am not talking about them paying our way through high school or college (in my opinion, that is a parent's responsibility - to pay for at-least 4 years of education post high-school - I plan to be ready for that) but of their extra curricular support. All through college, I never had to worry about having too little money, or not doing something I wanted to do, or not enjoying the most of college that I could - because I knew that if I were ever in trouble, my folks would be there - like a pillar - to always support me. Even now, when I moved to India and didn't have too much money to do and buy everything I wanted, they never hesitated to give me all that I asked for - and more. And I personally feel that I've been shameless about asking them to buy me things that I didn't really need, things that were pure luxury - like a new car. Yet they never hesitated, never made me think that I was asking for too much, that I was asking for something that wasn't meant for me.
And to actually broaden on this, both my parents have played the role of support structures to perfection. You know what they say about being around your parents - it makes you feel like a kid. Some people don't have that feeling, but I still do, and while I complain and give myself a hard time about allowing that, deep inside me, somewhere hidden, it gives me great comfort - I like feeling like a kid, feeling that my parents are always there - to take care of everything - fix everything (I might be overdoing this a little - to the point of making myself look like a mama's boy or some-such, but this is just to give an idea).
I remember when I first went to college, among other things, my dad told me this - always remember, there are very few problems that cannot be solved with money. I still hold that to heart - and I thank the gods that I have him, nay them, around to always support me in such times.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
WoW has lost it's luster
I have been a big fan for almost a year and a half now. However, in recent days, the games fandom has lost a citizen. My game play has gone from 2-3 hours/day to <1hour/week. For those who know me, this would seem like a miracle - I used to be totally engrossed in the game, and now I'm not. Let me recount the reasons.
For a while, I had been feeling disillusioned with the game. Nay, not the game, but the group of people (Guild) I play with. I had seen some politicking happening, people were saying something and doing something tangentially different, were recruiting new members without any respect for the group or the older guys etc. etc. The reason all this pissed me off was 'cause my main reason for playing the game wasn't the game itself, but the community surrounding it, and the few friends I had made in that virtual world. All that was breaking down now. All this had, hence, made me reduce my game play time by a little, but not too much.
Then I went to KL to visit my folks, my laptop's charger fried, and I was left without my machine for ~2 weeks. That was what broke the camel's back. I didn't miss not playing during those 2 weeks - in-fact, for some reason, I enjoyed the absence of the game. I read, slept, and did other shit I liked (or didn't...). All this meant that when I did finally have the use of my laptop again, WoW wasn't the first thing I started (like I would have done in the past). Instead, I went about doing other things - catch up on news, read blogs, learn some new systems etc. Now it's come to a place where in the last month, I have only attended the weekly guild night and haven't played the game outside of that. Most I have done other than that one morning of game play is hit the Auction house and sell all my shit. It's funny how I was broke when I was playing and now that I'm not anymore, I'm kinda rich :).
Anyways, I'm happy with this change, for now anyways. I don't feel the urge to play the game anymore. I can manage without it, and that's what I'm doing :).
For a while, I had been feeling disillusioned with the game. Nay, not the game, but the group of people (Guild) I play with. I had seen some politicking happening, people were saying something and doing something tangentially different, were recruiting new members without any respect for the group or the older guys etc. etc. The reason all this pissed me off was 'cause my main reason for playing the game wasn't the game itself, but the community surrounding it, and the few friends I had made in that virtual world. All that was breaking down now. All this had, hence, made me reduce my game play time by a little, but not too much.
Then I went to KL to visit my folks, my laptop's charger fried, and I was left without my machine for ~2 weeks. That was what broke the camel's back. I didn't miss not playing during those 2 weeks - in-fact, for some reason, I enjoyed the absence of the game. I read, slept, and did other shit I liked (or didn't...). All this meant that when I did finally have the use of my laptop again, WoW wasn't the first thing I started (like I would have done in the past). Instead, I went about doing other things - catch up on news, read blogs, learn some new systems etc. Now it's come to a place where in the last month, I have only attended the weekly guild night and haven't played the game outside of that. Most I have done other than that one morning of game play is hit the Auction house and sell all my shit. It's funny how I was broke when I was playing and now that I'm not anymore, I'm kinda rich :).
Anyways, I'm happy with this change, for now anyways. I don't feel the urge to play the game anymore. I can manage without it, and that's what I'm doing :).
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Letters from Iwo Jima - an (non)attempt at a review
I saw Letters from Iwo Jima recently and figured I should write down my thoughts on it. I had earlier seen it's companion movie - Flags of our fathers, and hadn't been quiet impressed. Letters, on the other hand, was one of the better movies I have seen recently.
It's the story of the Japanese soldiers who fought to "defend" the island of Iwo Jima from the American invaders. The main protagonists - General Kuribayashi and Saigo were shown as affable men, those who were empathetic to their fellow man, yet knew what they had to do (a misguided sense of duty in my opinion, but sense of duty nonetheless). The movie is interspersed with scenes showing their humanity, their sense of humor, their sense of right and wrong, their longing to go back home, their courage in the face of inevitable defeat and death. We got to learn what General K thought about his visit to the US, how Saigo was forced into going to war, how his wife reacted when they got the letter asking him to go to war, his kind loving words and resolute promise to his unborn baby that night. All these scenes added up to give the viewer a sense of what those times were like, how tough they were for both the sides (we have, after all, seen more than a couple movies telling the American side of the story) and how similar the various people involved were, in their feelings towards the war (I had got a taste of this in Memoirs of a Geisha too).
It was a movie that told it's story like it happened - no sugar coating, nobody was a hero, nobody was a villain. Some of the scenes where the Japanese helped an American soldier with his wounds, or where the American soldiers shot their Japanese captors were quiet endearing. By the end of things, I was left with swelled up eyes and a knot in my stomach which was saying that such things should never happen - nobody deserves death this way, nobody deserves to live life after having done the things a war makes you do.
And that, in my opinion, was the highlight of the movie - an urge to resolve to not let such things happen again - and the director through the tragic story of these men, implores us to follow up on this urge.
It's the story of the Japanese soldiers who fought to "defend" the island of Iwo Jima from the American invaders. The main protagonists - General Kuribayashi and Saigo were shown as affable men, those who were empathetic to their fellow man, yet knew what they had to do (a misguided sense of duty in my opinion, but sense of duty nonetheless). The movie is interspersed with scenes showing their humanity, their sense of humor, their sense of right and wrong, their longing to go back home, their courage in the face of inevitable defeat and death. We got to learn what General K thought about his visit to the US, how Saigo was forced into going to war, how his wife reacted when they got the letter asking him to go to war, his kind loving words and resolute promise to his unborn baby that night. All these scenes added up to give the viewer a sense of what those times were like, how tough they were for both the sides (we have, after all, seen more than a couple movies telling the American side of the story) and how similar the various people involved were, in their feelings towards the war (I had got a taste of this in Memoirs of a Geisha too).
It was a movie that told it's story like it happened - no sugar coating, nobody was a hero, nobody was a villain. Some of the scenes where the Japanese helped an American soldier with his wounds, or where the American soldiers shot their Japanese captors were quiet endearing. By the end of things, I was left with swelled up eyes and a knot in my stomach which was saying that such things should never happen - nobody deserves death this way, nobody deserves to live life after having done the things a war makes you do.
And that, in my opinion, was the highlight of the movie - an urge to resolve to not let such things happen again - and the director through the tragic story of these men, implores us to follow up on this urge.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
An ode to my brother
My brother recently celebrated (or maybe not) his 22'nd birthday and I realized that I haven't ever written about him. So here goes.
He's been the kind who was always troublesome. Well, to me anyways. He would pick fights with me, trouble me no end, take sides against me and in general be a royal pain in the ass. This was back when we were kids. All this changed when we both went off to college.
I guess I matured first - I had a year's headstart. He followed soon though. He went to college, didn't have the easiest of times there (IMO anyways) but he came out better for it. I guess the distance between the two of us (not seeing each other everyday) helped with the process of not fighting, and having shit to talk about when we did, too.
Anyways, towards the last year of my college and his last two years, we became kinda close - maybe for the first time. Various things bound us - our complains about our parents, our choice in women, discussions about politics, discussions about classes, looking for a job, etc. etc. We used to sit and talk on the phone for hours - like chicks or some shit, and not feel sorry for it (well, at-least I didn't feel sorry). Even when he came and lived with me for a couple of months after finishing up school, there were hardly any times when we fought. We were like the picture postcard of a happy family - one who talked, one who enjoyed each other's company, one who quarreled but it let it go soon, one who liked to eat the same things and the list goes on. Suffice it to say, we both had a good time during those 2 months.
All this is not to say that we haven't had our differences over this period. I was hugely disappointed with my trip to his college before I flew out to India. I wanted it to be memorable (given that I didn't know if/when I would come back) which it didn't end up being (and I mostly blame him for it). We also disagreed over our emotions for our parents. This list could go on for a mile, but none of that matters as much - we have overcome all that for the past few years - and I think we will keep doing so for the next few too (what happens beyond that is anybody's guess).
When I was younger, I used to tell my folks that I wish I didn't have a younger brother, or that I wish I had a sister, or that I wish they had waited longer before having a second child, and I used to believe all what I said back then, too. However, I would not change what I have right now, for the world (though I would still like to have a sister). He has taught me innumerable things, he has guided me in innumerable ways and him being around has pleased me in unmeasurable quantities. So, Mon frère, live a long and happy life - and I hope we be just as good friends in our twilight years, as we are now. Happy Birthday.
He's been the kind who was always troublesome. Well, to me anyways. He would pick fights with me, trouble me no end, take sides against me and in general be a royal pain in the ass. This was back when we were kids. All this changed when we both went off to college.
I guess I matured first - I had a year's headstart. He followed soon though. He went to college, didn't have the easiest of times there (IMO anyways) but he came out better for it. I guess the distance between the two of us (not seeing each other everyday) helped with the process of not fighting, and having shit to talk about when we did, too.
Anyways, towards the last year of my college and his last two years, we became kinda close - maybe for the first time. Various things bound us - our complains about our parents, our choice in women, discussions about politics, discussions about classes, looking for a job, etc. etc. We used to sit and talk on the phone for hours - like chicks or some shit, and not feel sorry for it (well, at-least I didn't feel sorry). Even when he came and lived with me for a couple of months after finishing up school, there were hardly any times when we fought. We were like the picture postcard of a happy family - one who talked, one who enjoyed each other's company, one who quarreled but it let it go soon, one who liked to eat the same things and the list goes on. Suffice it to say, we both had a good time during those 2 months.
All this is not to say that we haven't had our differences over this period. I was hugely disappointed with my trip to his college before I flew out to India. I wanted it to be memorable (given that I didn't know if/when I would come back) which it didn't end up being (and I mostly blame him for it). We also disagreed over our emotions for our parents. This list could go on for a mile, but none of that matters as much - we have overcome all that for the past few years - and I think we will keep doing so for the next few too (what happens beyond that is anybody's guess).
When I was younger, I used to tell my folks that I wish I didn't have a younger brother, or that I wish I had a sister, or that I wish they had waited longer before having a second child, and I used to believe all what I said back then, too. However, I would not change what I have right now, for the world (though I would still like to have a sister). He has taught me innumerable things, he has guided me in innumerable ways and him being around has pleased me in unmeasurable quantities. So, Mon frère, live a long and happy life - and I hope we be just as good friends in our twilight years, as we are now. Happy Birthday.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
I've had something to look forward to
I'm going to KL next Wednesday (~6 days from now) and that has kept me a little more chirpy than usual for the last few days. See, I have had something to look forward to.
That has been my complain with a "work life" always - it doesn't give you anything to look forward to (well, maybe interesting projects but nothing else) whereas while in school, you always had something to look forward to. Vacations - Winter, Spring, Summer, holidays in-between, finals etc. etc. There was no shortage of interesting things to do within the confines of college. It, unfortunately, isn't so in the working world :(.
Anyways, I'll be flying out to KL on Tuesday night/Wednesday early morning. Be there for 5 days. Should be an interesting trip. Papa has bought an Audi, so I'll get to check it out. They have also moved into the new crib which was pretty nice when I saw it last time. I will hopefully also go see some places in Malaysia, plus the FOOD - oh the heavenly food. I LUVZ the Asian cuisine, and as you can imagine, Malaysia has no shortage of it.
On the other hand, it can end up being a trip from hell too. After all, I am going to see my folks. Those meets have not always gone well in the past. There will always be things to argue about - mundane things like wear this shirt, not that one - or go work out for the 5 days you are here etc. etc. My money is on the trip landing up somewhere in the middle. There will obviously be some highly frustrating fights, and then there will be some genuinely pleasurable moments. Sadly, only time will tell.
That has been my complain with a "work life" always - it doesn't give you anything to look forward to (well, maybe interesting projects but nothing else) whereas while in school, you always had something to look forward to. Vacations - Winter, Spring, Summer, holidays in-between, finals etc. etc. There was no shortage of interesting things to do within the confines of college. It, unfortunately, isn't so in the working world :(.
Anyways, I'll be flying out to KL on Tuesday night/Wednesday early morning. Be there for 5 days. Should be an interesting trip. Papa has bought an Audi, so I'll get to check it out. They have also moved into the new crib which was pretty nice when I saw it last time. I will hopefully also go see some places in Malaysia, plus the FOOD - oh the heavenly food. I LUVZ the Asian cuisine, and as you can imagine, Malaysia has no shortage of it.
On the other hand, it can end up being a trip from hell too. After all, I am going to see my folks. Those meets have not always gone well in the past. There will always be things to argue about - mundane things like wear this shirt, not that one - or go work out for the 5 days you are here etc. etc. My money is on the trip landing up somewhere in the middle. There will obviously be some highly frustrating fights, and then there will be some genuinely pleasurable moments. Sadly, only time will tell.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Oedipal & Electra complex
Just wanted to note something. A lot is made of the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. A lot of women also have issues with guys being "Mama's boys". I have however, always thought that this feeling goes both ways, and in extremes. You can either try to be (and in some extreme cases, want to fuck) like your parent of the opposite sex, or be exactly unlike them.
Now, in my opinion, the latter happens more often than the former (this is not a scientific statement, just a feeling - so don't quote me). It certainly is true in my case. I have always respected both my parents, but I have always seen many faults in them. And yeah, everyone has theirs, but then that's how you grow, learn from other's mistakes. I certainly have from my parents'.
Just thought I'd put it down.
Now, in my opinion, the latter happens more often than the former (this is not a scientific statement, just a feeling - so don't quote me). It certainly is true in my case. I have always respected both my parents, but I have always seen many faults in them. And yeah, everyone has theirs, but then that's how you grow, learn from other's mistakes. I certainly have from my parents'.
Just thought I'd put it down.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)