My movie going experiences in Bangalore...

In my last post, I'd said that there will be more about watching movies in India - well here it is.

I've been out a few times now - to watch movies in Bangalore. They have all been Hindi movies (partially 'cause the people I go with don't enjoy watching English movies, and partially 'cause I'm making up for all those years I didn't go to the movies and watch a Bollywood flick) and inevitably, they have always been bad experiences. Let me start with a list of all the things that happen when you go to see a movie here:

• You will have a hard time getting tickets to a new movie (owing to the very few "multiplexes" in the city).
• You will have a hard time finding parking
• You will pay an obscene amount of money for the services being provided (and I'm not talking about the bad movie here)
• You will be given, what can best be described as black water with sugar, instead of Coke for Rs. 30.
• You will be ushered into the hall by a guy standing at the entrance checking your tickets (this is a bittersweet thing - figure it out)
• You will find your seat, and then notice the amount of dust on it.
• You will soon realize how little leg space there is
• At this point, you will start noticing the absolutely abhorrent state the hall has been kept in - the dust covered curtains, the speakers that look like they were bought in the 19'th century and never touched since and the dirty white screen in front of you
• After noticing all the dirt around you, your attention will move to the really small screen in front of you - and you'll start thinking that the wall of your house is probably bigger than this bitch in front of you
• Finally when the movie starts, your fears of the screen being small will be validated - with you squinting to see everything.
• You will also soon realize that there is some asshole around you who can't keep his/her mouth shut. They will gasp, laugh or scream loudly at the respective scenes, and when they're not doing that, they will keep saying this like "Duh", "I knew that", "He's going to die now" etc. etc.
• The flow of the movie will then be interrupted with an interval (a good or bad thing depending on your perspective - I hate it)
• You will go out to a throng of people in front of the single confectionery stand handing out a glass of "coke" or a box of pop-corns one at a time. God save you if you go to the restroom.
• You somehow get back to your seat with a coke and a box of pop-corns and now that really annoying bitch has added another piece of ammo to his/her arsenal - eating loudly.
• Then there will be some other asshole who will get a call in the middle of the movie and will take it - while still seated in his/her seat and will talk for like 2 minutes before shutting up.

I'm sure there are other items that can be added to this list - but by far, these are the ones that really piss me off. Even if I can deal with the parking, and the dirty toilets and the more than dirty surroundings, the fact that some asshole is sitting around talking throughout the film - as if giving us a running commentary just gets on my nerves. And while most of the issues I have listed to not manifest in the better theaters like PVR, this talking syndrome still rears it's ugly head in.

So...what prompted this post - well, I'd gone to see Thoda Pyar thoda magic on Saturday night, and witnessed all this - and it bugged the hell out of me. It would be some solace if the movie was good - but that would be asking too much off of a mainstream Bollywood movie - none are good - for some odd reason, they all think patronizing their audience is a succesfull business decision. I fucking hate it.

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Letters from Iwo Jima - an (non)attempt at a review

I saw Letters from Iwo Jima recently and figured I should write down my thoughts on it. I had earlier seen it's companion movie - Flags of our fathers, and hadn't been quiet impressed. Letters, on the other hand, was one of the better movies I have seen recently.

It's the story of the Japanese soldiers who fought to "defend" the island of Iwo Jima from the American invaders. The main protagonists - General Kuribayashi and Saigo were shown as affable men, those who were empathetic to their fellow man, yet knew what they had to do (a misguided sense of duty in my opinion, but sense of duty nonetheless). The movie is interspersed with scenes showing their humanity, their sense of humor, their sense of right and wrong, their longing to go back home, their courage in the face of inevitable defeat and death. We got to learn what General K thought about his visit to the US, how Saigo was forced into going to war, how his wife reacted when they got the letter asking him to go to war, his kind loving words and resolute promise to his unborn baby that night. All these scenes added up to give the viewer a sense of what those times were like, how tough they were for both the sides (we have, after all, seen more than a couple movies telling the American side of the story) and how similar the various people involved were, in their feelings towards the war (I had got a taste of this in Memoirs of a Geisha too).

It was a movie that told it's story like it happened - no sugar coating, nobody was a hero, nobody was a villain. Some of the scenes where the Japanese helped an American soldier with his wounds, or where the American soldiers shot their Japanese captors were quiet endearing. By the end of things, I was left with swelled up eyes and a knot in my stomach which was saying that such things should never happen - nobody deserves death this way, nobody deserves to live life after having done the things a war makes you do.

And that, in my opinion, was the highlight of the movie - an urge to resolve to not let such things happen again - and the director through the tragic story of these men, implores us to follow up on this urge.

Jodhaa Akbar - a review

I saw Jodhaa Akbar over the weekend. I must say, it is by far the worst movie made by Ashutosh Gowariker, and is certainly not deserving of the 7.7/10 (as of this post) rating on IMDB.

Let me start with the cinematography. It could not get more clichéd. The battle scenes were shot as all battle scenes in Indian movies have been shot - a small army of middle aged, pot bellied guys throwing down with swords which are moving slower than my grand mother running the New York marathon. Then there is the pan out from under each of the asshole's feet, for what feels like eternity. There is also that one asshole (usually one of the chief protagonists in the battle) who just stands there like a dumbfuck waiting for his ass to be split apart, but his stupid ass is never touched. While he is standing there, with his wide, gaping, pear shaped/sized eyes, not one man from the other side has the common sense to come over and chop him down. And then finally, there is the show-off shot. The camera pans from above the guys head, all the way down to the heel, while a heavy beat is playing in the background. There are other idiosyncrasies too, like people singing in one part of the palace, and the whole god damn place reverbating with that persons voice (them castles were not small back then).

Then come the screenplay & direction. How many times are you going to rinse and repeat the same old story of no love at the beginning of the marraige, only to see the wife stand by her husband by the time the end credits start rolling. It's like seeing a rotten apple, rot again (if that makes any sense). And seriously, what's with the sudden love of the male body in Indian movies. Om Shanti Om had Dard-E-Disco to show off SRK, Saawariya had some stupid song to show off the new kid Kapoor, and now this painful movie has a sword practice session to show off Hrithik Roshan. How do you not get that the male body has never been the one to be adored. I would have complained if a woman was shown in that way too, but at-least my second head wouldn't have. Also, what is with the dialogues. The language being used is so laborious, it actually hurts. I mean, why can't you show a couple talking normally, instead of always talking in code. Sure, the first time or two is cute, it gets irritating afterwards. If I were in such a marriage, I would run the fuck out. Also, again, what's with the clichéd scenes - sisters bursting out in a loud cry and falling by her brother's side when he dies. Did she really not know he was going to die, while he's lying down their gasping for air. And what about the asshole villain who is discussing his plan to annex all of India with a foot soldier - while the "good" bad guy is very conveniently overhearing his plans.

Finally, the acting is so tired and boring - it starts hurting more than an umbrella making it's way up your ass - slowly, waiting to be opened. Hrithik Roshan hardly looks like a King - I have not yet seen an Indian king who was as well built. They are all pot-bellied, middle-aged, married to 10 20-year old's idiots. He is Mughal. Yet he marries only one woman, and waits for her to start loving him. This may be the truth, but I find it hard to believe. And worst of all, he does not sound or feel royal while doing all this. He lacks the commanding voice, that presence, that gravitas. Don't even get me started about Aishwarya Rai. I have to admit though, there is some consolation in the fact that she looks HOT in the movie.

There were other stupid parts to the movie too. In the final battle scene, where "Akbar" is fighting the defector/betrayer for control of "Hindustan" each of the side's army looks like they have only 500 soldiers each. I mean, is my nations history so bad that wars for control of land was fought by 500 people only?? Surely not. The final duel between Akbar the the bad guy moves so slow that I would rather watch paint dry. One sword strikes, and whole 2 seconds later, the other's lands. I can fight faster man. Did you see Troy. At-least that fight between Eric Bana and Brad Pitt looked like 2 strong men, gladiators, fighting.

Epic fail, this movie. The image is less painful.

Into the Wild - continued

As posted earlier, I recently saw the movie Into the Wild. And as posted earlier, it raised quiet a few questions. One that struck me most (and I might add I've had in the back of my head for quiet a while now) was "Who am I". I have written about this earlier, but I'm still trying to figure out an answer.

It's no secret to those who know me, that I'm unhappy - and have been in that state for a while now. Part of it stems from the fact that I'm not entirely happy with the work I've been doing (I mean professionally), but more than that, I haven't been entirely happy with how I've been living my life. I don't have too many friends (though arguably, the ones I do are pretty good and we are close), I don't do things I know I should be doing (for example, get my PAN card, or go work out), I've never been in a relationship with someone that meant much of anything, I haven't travelled as much as I would have liked to, I haven't written anything nearly as good as I would have liked to, I haven't drawn anything, sung anything, or done anything remotely creative. I think that one of the things I hate more than anything else is being normal - conforming to the stereotypes - and I see myself as having become exactly that - a stereotype; working a 9-5 job, writing code, coming back home, and then being unhappy with myself. The only thing I hate more than conforming to said stereotype is not having the courage to pull myself out of it.

And this is where Into the Wild struck a chord with me. I saw a man, someone my age, get up and do what he wanted, a man who was brave enough to go out and grab what he wanted, without any fear or hesitations, without any second thoughts, without needing the approval of anyone (parents or otherwise). I see everything in Christopher that I want to be, yet am not.

I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to do half of what he did. I guess it's a scary thought - to actually find out who you are, what you're made of, how weak (or strong) you are. And maybe that plays in the back of my head too. Whatever be the reason for this cowardice though, I sincerely hope that I break out of it some day, and be who I am - whatever that is.

Micheal Clayton - an attempt at a review.

I recently saw the movie Micheal Clayton and figured I'd write down my feelings/reactions to it.

To start off with, I loved the movie. It was definitely worthy of it's 7 oscar nominations. What I liked about the movie was that it didn't try to be a movie that preached to you. It lay the story out (one that has been played quiet a bit, I might add), through wonderful direction and acting (and everything that comes in between) and then let you take away what you wanted from it.

The characters were built to perfection - the main protagonist, Michael Clayton was displayed as being a lawyer at a high end NYC firm, one who should have had everything, but didn't. He was divorced, had a failed restaurant business, was broke and to top it off, was a very low profile (but important) member of his firm. They didn't try to make him into something he wasn't - a hero.

Arthur too, was very impressively written - the firms leading attorney in one of their biggest cases who has just suffered a mental breakdown (this is where the movie picks up) and hence, has just realized how unfruitfully he's been leading his life for the past decade - trying to defend a firm which was the cause of death of ~500 people. His soliloquy at the start of the film as well as when Michael sits down with him in the jail are some of the best parts of the movie.

Finally, Caren Crowder - the Chief counsel at the firm Arthur is defending was very well built and played too (in fact Tilda Swinton won as Oscar for her performance) - a soft-spoken, speaking in front of the mirror in the morning kind of a lady who knew what she wanted and went about it.

There aren't any specific moments in the film I can point to that stand out - but the feel of the overall film was such that you had a smile on your face when it ended. You felt like you could relate with the person and his actions, you felt like what he did, even though legally wrong was morally correct.

It was one of those movies that you could sit back and enjoy, and even though there is a scary message that resonates from it, there is also one that you can take some amount of comfort in - that there still are people who do the right thing; maybe not at the precise moment they should, but nevertheless, they end up doing the right thing.

Now don't get me wrong, the lawyer in me (so sometimes I think like a lawyer even if I ain't - so sue me) says that he should have been disbarred - lawyer client confidentiality is tantamount to the judicial system, I still ended up cheering for him.

I'm not sure if I've been able to put down my thoughts verbatim here (not reading books can do that to you), but I hope I've been able to explain my reasons for liking the film.

Into the Wild - confessions

I recently saw the movie Into the Wild, and while it raised a few questions, It also made me accept something I had known for a while but was unwilling to acknowledge.

Summer '06 - I was supposed to graduate in May - only I didn't. My folks flew to Austin for the ceremony and all that, and I never went to it. That, to them, was very disappointing - till this date. Now, personally speaking, I never saw the whole point behind going to a ceremony to accept the fact that you have graduated - I knew I had graduated, and that was that - I didn't need to be handed out a diploma in front of a bunch of other people to know that fact. But, for my parents, it was a big deal - they wanted to see me walk down that aisle - accept that diploma, wear the regalia, throw my hat up in the air, have a photo of me with my diploma in hand and them by my side. But, due to my feelings on the subject, I never really saw theirs. I now realize that may not have been correct.

I would guess that for many parents, it would be a proud moment to see their kid graduate College - it's something they have worked for for quiet a while (I think this is certainly true of my parents), and then on D-day for your son to back out - would have been kind of sad. I can't lay claim to knowing my parent's emotions or feelings beyond the obvious knowledge gained through them complaining to me.

What I can do, and what I am here to do is say this - I'm sorry guys. I did not mean to disappoint you, I did not mean to not do this for you - It's just something I did - mostly because I had other plans. I wanted to study some more, I wanted to experience being in school some more, I wanted to enjoy going to class some more, I wanted to learn some more.

So, mea culpa, I hope some day you will understand and excuse me for my actions.