RIP B.D. Manocha

My last living grandparent - my paternal grandfather - B.D. Manocha - pitaji - passed away on the 18'th of May, 2009. He was 95 years old.

This was coming - he had severe Alzheimers, had suffered a stroke that had paralyzed the left side of his body, was very frail and pretty much fully dependent on others. It is because of this that I feel this was a good thing. He had led a long and (for the most part) healthy life - lived long enough to see his great grand children (the oldest of which is now almost 19 years old), seen all his grand children (save me and my brother) get married and been there when his wife passed away. His passing away relieved both my uncles (his two oldest sons) from having to constantly worry about him (though, amazingly, I never heard them complain - infact they often fought over who would be the one taking care of him).

I debated over the content of this post - should this be a eulogy or a detailing of my trip to India to perform his final rights. I will give both a shot, starting with the former.

I didn't really know pitaji too well. From the time I remember things, I knew him as a deeply religious man - so much so that he almost completely ignored everything else - including his wife (for example, I don't remember a single time when both of them slept in the same room, not sure if he did it earlier in his life, but definitely not since I remember anything about our family) and his youngest grand children. The most vivid memories of him I have are the ones where he used to come to our part of the house for dinner or when he used to be the one chairing the prayers whenever a common one took place in the house. My older cousins tell me he was a strict taskmaster - he used to see if they finished their studies, were disciplined etc. Non compliance usually meant they would be hit with a cane. He didn't take non-compliance too well (this is all too evident in my father too) - as was witnessed by him scolding us or our mom when we used English instead of Hindi (he was a Gandhian). He was also obsessive-compulsive about his health (this may be why he lived to this age). He was never one to try to build a fun and playful relationship with us. I remember my younger self asking my mother how come pitaji didn't play with us like the grandfathers in the movies played with their grandkids. However, by the end of things, he had changed significantly - everytime I visited, he would enthusiastically hug me and ask me to sit by his side. I'm not sure if he knew who I was, but he liked people sitting with him, holding him or holding them in an embrace. He had also, as far as I could tell, given up on religion (this could by my bias) as well as on good health (part of this was 'cause he couldn't walk after his stroke, but he also started loving sweets - when he used to not eat much more than 3-4 spoon fulls of the stuff earlier). I guess, I had more fun being around him in his later years.

He passed away on Monday, 18'th May. My dad left for Delhi the same day. My mom followed the next day (Tuesday) and me the day after (Wednesday). He was cremated on Tuesday morning. We went to collect his ashes the morning after I arrived - almost all the males in the house. This was done with all pomp, ritual and ceremony - none of which I understood. We laid out different kids of food on all 4 corners of the rectangle as well as the 4 mid points of the sides of the rectangle. This was followed by some shlokas being read by the in-house pandit. We then did what's know as phool chun-na (pick the flowers). This involved saperating the bones from the rest of the ashes in the pit. We then headed home with the ashes as well as the bones. The afternoon saw a 3 hour rendition of the Bhagvat Gita followed by lunch. This was mostly attended by family members as well as mid to old aged housewives from the neighbourhood (given that it was a thursday afternoon, most of the men were apparently unavailable to attend). We then had an hour's respite and then headed to a temple where a more public ceremony was held - attendance was actually quiet good. The ceremony involved 45 minutes of funeralistic songs followed by a 20-25 minute eulogy delivered by the family priest. The ceremony ended by 6:30pm, after which we all returned home, where plans to go to Haridwar to put his bones in the Ganges were made. 11 of us in 3 cars were to go. We all left at different times the next morning, but ended up meeting just oustide of Haridwar. The drive there in my uncle's Wagon-R was actually pretty taxing - with the A/C not working fully well and the tempreatures soaring over 40C. Once we reached Haridwar, we checked into our hotel, rested for a few minutes and then headed down to the main river bank (called Har-ki-pauri) to put his ashes in the Ganges. Our priest met us at the banks - who then performed another 10-15 minute prayer. We then gave his ashes to the Ganges and then everybody but me, a cousin and his wife, followed it up with a dip in the river. We then headed back up to the hotel, took a shower and headed down to meet our Haridwar priest. This is the guy you go to to register a death or birth (though the latter rarely happens) in the family. He has records for the Manocha family going back 3-4 generations - apparently. This done, we went for a stroll in the local market. We rushed back to the main bank of the river by 7pm for the aarti held daily. The place was packed which meant people were rubbing up against everybody. Rather distressing but I survived what was a - fortunately - short prayer. A quick trip back to the hotel, we headed back out for dinner after freshening up. We had dinner at a Dhaba type place and then headed back to the hotel to call it a night. The next morning involved another dip in the river for most everybody and then checkout followed by our drive back home - which was plagued by the same ills that troubled us on our way in.

That was it for the performing last rites part of the trip. Many things about these 3 days pissed me off. Not least of them was the fact that after deciding to not go to India for this hoopla, I changed my mind after a call from my dad asking me to come. Now maybe I was being naive, but I thought he asked me to come 'cause he needed me there - somebody to talk to and stuff. It turns out I was window dressing - a body to show that the grandkids from our end of the family haven't all suddenly gone AWOL (since grandkids from the other two brothers were in attendance). But as I said, I was probably being naive to expect otherwise. Anyway, many of the rituals irked me too. The putting food on all corners of his pyre, the picking of his bones from the ashes, the floating of said bones into the Ganges (no wonder the water there was so nasty), the singing of the songs, the pseudo-eulogy delivered by the priest instead of his kids etc. I am sure if I had been there for the cremation, I'd have had problems with that whole process too. But I guess this is to be expected - I believe dying is the end of things - nothing lives on. You remember the person the best way you can without acting like you need to help him gain passage into heaven. Suffice it to say, I feel I would have been better off not going to India - just mourning his death from Kuala Lumpur, in a way that I feel acceptable, instead of going along with what others think I should do at such a time. Alas, that didn't happen.

My grandfather passing away is a bittersweet moment - it's sad but probably for the best. I can't say I'll miss him, but I will say may he Rest in Peace.

A few things I've learnt from living with my parents...again

As stated earlier, I've been living with my parents for the last 3 months. A lot has transpired between us during that time - lot's of fights and make ups, bruised egos, defiance etc. Suffice it to say that it's not been easy - if I had to advise somebody if it'd be ok for them to go back to live with their folks after 6 years of not living with them, my answer will be a resounding NO!! Now to be fair, I'm not blaming them for this, it's a classic "it takes two to tango" situation. But all that's not the point of this post.

The subject of this post is what have I realized about myself living with my parents - more precisely, what kind of man I want to be and what kind of women I want to be with. I'll grant that basing these two personality traits solely on observing your parents might not be the best way to go about it, but they certainly do influence you - as they have me.

So, as I've been noticing the interactions between my mom and dad, one particular theme has become very clear - how submissive she is and how authoritative he is. She will bring him a glass of water/milk/coke (but never liquor for some odd reason) when he asks her to, she will arrange the kitchen (which in all honesty, should be her domain) as he likes her to, deal with the help as he wants her to, work or not work as he wants her to, cook as he wants her to - to the chagrin of everyone else, etc. etc. Reverse all that and you'll get a picture of what my dad's like. Even the most mundane stuff, like leaving an empty glass of beer on the side table next to the couch is for some reason unacceptable - as is eating in front of the tv or parking the car facing in instead of facing out or cooking the food a bit spicy or grabbing pickles with your meal - and yes, the list goes on. Now, I am almost certainly painting an exaggerated picture - it's not possible for me with my limited writing skills to paint the perfect picture - but this is the general trend.

Watching all this has made me realize things, if not influence me too. I've never been (at-least I'd like to think so) the kind of guy who likes to tell people how to do things or be told how to do things. It makes me uncomfortable when people ask me if they should do this thing or the other, and outright annoys me when they think they know what I should do. I can't stand people who think they know what's right for me, or ask me 10 times "why" I've done or decided to do something (a disease that plagues both my parents unfortunately). This line of thought, inherently leads me to like decisive people. And that's what I've realized - my ideal woman would be confident, decisive and unwavering. She won't feel the need to ask me what to or not to do. She'll also, hopefully, be the kind of person who would ask me to shut up and get back in my place if I try to interfere. Of-course, this does not mean I don't want her to ask me for suggestions - but that's exactly what I want them to be in her mind - suggestions. Conversely, I want to be the kind of man who will be trusting enough to not have to worry about the decisions my woman is making. Again, this is not to say that I don't want to be involved - I just don't want to be the guy "telling" her what to do. I would hate to become into an incarnation of my dad - thinking I know enough about everything to know what's right for someone else - screw how they feel about it.

Finally, let me say that I do not think their union doesn't work - it works for them. Maybe what I'm looking for is an aberration - it might be why I've been single for most of my life. That said, I'm not ready to settle, not just yet - I still have hope :).

My last day at Agilent (and my comeback to blogging).

So it's been a while. Lot's has happened since the last time I posted an entry here. Most importantly, Obama won the race for the presidency of the US and became the 44'th and the first black president of the United States. In this time, I also visited Goa (twice), saw a close friend get married (a bit scary - we're all coming of age), saw the US go into recession, lost my partner (who shall remain anonymous, on his request) to the economy (or something else - I don't want to think too much about it), gave the GMAT - twice 'cause the first time around I got only 640 (second time around, I got 700), and celebrated my 24'th birthday (in-fact on the same day as my second GMAT exam). But, I also resigned my job at Agilent (one I've had for the past 15 months). My last day was today. I'm excited, not scared, optimistic, not pessimistic and interested in looking forward to what happens in the next few months.

Resigning from my job was long in the making. I had thought of it way back in august/september while discussing with R about our plans for out startup. It took me almost 6 months between first thinking about it and finally leaving my job. I guess there was some apprehension with the economy the way it was and all that. I also postponed my plans more than once 'cause of R and now even though he's no longer taking the plunge with me, I still feel this was the right choice for me. The fact is, I was no longer enjoying the work I was doing at Agilent - it was mundane, repetitive and sparse. Sure, there were moments of excitement and exhileration, but they were few and far between for me to justify staying on.

What was (and still is) surprising to me was how my folks supported me in this decision. I was not expecting it, so it came as a very pleasant surprise. As I have mentioned earlier, they have not always been the most supportive of my aspirations or decisions (and this is not me bitching, this is me appreciating them for showing me a different path, giving me choices I had not thought of) so them supporting me fully meant a lot to me.

As for my plans from here on out, I'm going to finish off my grad school applications before next weekend, which is when I fly out to Malaysia. Once there, I plan on working full time on making GovCheck a reality. The Indian General Elections are coming around so this should be a good time to launch a site like this. Additionally, it will be a good test for the idea - if it can't gain traction during an election cycle, then probably this idea isn't something that can be turned into a profitable business. I'll see how things go in the few months after the site's launch. If I feel it is succesfull (and I don't have a clear definition of what does succesfull mean), I will punt on grad school and continue working on it. If not, I'll go to grad school. And if I don't get into any of the schools I apply to, I will then start looking for jobs again, though I'm really really really hoping it doesn't come to that.

So that is an update for the day. I hope to take up blogging regularly again, but let's see if I can stick to that. All I can say is, right now, I'm excited for my future. I hope my efforts bear some fruit.

Blah...

I'm bored, don't have much to do, and can't think of an interesting topic to write about. So here's a brain dump.

I've been sick for the past week - a cold I caught last friday when the power went out at 1 in the morning, leading me in some hot & humid weather, to go take a shower at 2am, followed by me strolling on my balcony for an hour afterwards. The next morning, I woke up to a running nose, blocked sinus' and a sore throat. It got incrementally worse from there on out. I finally recovered enough this thursday to go back to work, only to find that my head hurt in the A/C there. My mother too, fell sick this week. She had to undergo a surgery for an "obstructing hernia". She's better now, but let's just say she gave us a scare for a little bit there. Fortunately, my dad was around and was able to handle things (he was supposed to go to Beijing the night my mom was diagnosed with the problem). There is now some discussion around me and Ayush going to KL when dad has to go to NYC (4'th - 14'th Oct). That might end up happening, in which case I'll have to take even more days off from work.

I've been reading a lot about Sarah Palin and the resurgent McCain campaign. I am a bit scared about how big of a bounce they've got from her selection. Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy was a 5 minute conversation with the average voter. He sure sounds right seeing the kind of reaction Palin is getting. As Matt Damon put it (quiet well, in my opinion) - it all seems like a bad Disney movie - where the hockey/soccer mom suddenly becomes the president. I truly am scared of seeing another Republican administration in power - I honestly do believe that it would be a very bad thing for the US and the entire world.

Back to personal issues, I've been fighting myself, trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing with my time, and life. I'm constantly conflicted about studying for the GRE, paying more attention to work, or working even harder on my project. I want to just go all out on the last of those, but for a myriad of reasons, am unable to yet. The major one, I think is 'cause I'm not getting the backing I feel I need to be able to do so. Support from my parents is luke warm, at best - and realistically, I don't expect more from them. But then there's R (he doesn't want his name out in the open) who has these bursts where all he'll discuss is how we grow this idea, and then completely stop talking about it for long periods of time (like we haven't spoken about any of this for the past 2 weeks). I'm trying to figure out if I think I can do this alone - but so far, I don't think I can. It's not that I need someone to help me write the code - that I'm confident I can do. It's that, I need someone who can prop me up - who has more confidence than I do in me (and in themselve). I also want to work with smart people, and I have always counted R as one of them - somebody smarter than me, whom I can learn a lot from. I guess, all I can do is hope things work out, but keep a back-up plan in case they don't. I honestly think I've come too far to give up now - I see this as my way out of the mundane life that is working for a company. I want to do my own thing - create something new - innovate - help people in their regular lives, and along the way, get some fulfillment.

Thoughts: The parent-child relationship

I've often found myself wondering (after talks with my folks/friends/co-workers, or after watching a movie/tv-show) about the kind of relationship a parent and child should share. Here are some thoughts.

Above all, I see this relationship as one of the few, one-way relationships a person has in his/her life - the road going from the parents and to the kids. Let me explain.

I think when a couple decides to have a child, they consciously make the decision that they are going to bring someone into this world, take care of it, groom it, have good times with it, enjoy it's company et al. Now, having made that decision, they also need to realize that it'll be their job to keep a watchful eye on them, keep 'em out of trouble, help them when they do get into trouble and generally give them everything they need and (hopefully) most of what they want. This is because you are their parents, their creators (humor me) if you will.

It is also a parent's responsibility to not burden a child with his/her expectations. You didn't create an object that you can return or discard if it didn't do what you thought it was supposed to do - NO! You had a child - another human being - who needs to make his/her own decision about their life - about how they want to live it. The child can have expectations of his/her parents (see last paragraph) but it should never go the other way round. And I'm not talking about the small stuff here - I speak of the whoppers - religious expectations, career expectations, marriage expectations, grandkid expectations and so on. Parents should never impose these on their kids - and the reason for this is quiet straightforward to my eye - it will stop your child from becoming who he can, but more importatnly, who he wants to be. And nothing, in my opinion, is a greater crime than stopping somebody from leading their life their way (there are certain exceptions).

I have often seen parents demand high ranks in school/college, a good job - an expectation to stick to the basics. They will try to impose their experiences onto you - not realising that there is at-least a generations difference between them and you - that their experiences, while useful, will not necessarily be the same as yours, and that you have the option (and might I say obligation) to experience them for yourself.

Now, I can't say children are completely absolved of any responsibilities towards their parents, but the flow is so one-sided (or at-least should be) that it's hard to see the other end of it.

So, to surmise, parents need to back off with their demands of their children - while they might have his/her best in their mind, they need to realize that they are not perfect at guessing what is good or bad for someone - that decision, in almost all cases, should be left to the person being talked about, to decide for them self.

About that trip to Malaysia

So, I got back last Sunday from a week's trip to Malaysia. It was an interesting trip - started with a thunder, ended with a whimper.

We reached on Saturday, and left for a beach resort in the South China Sea on Sunday (early Sunday morning). The beach and it's surroundings were everything I had imagined - clear blue water, amazing coral reefs, relaxing atmosphere, not too crowded and good food. A new thing I learned/did while there was snorkeling - took me a few tries to get the hang of it, but once I did, it was one of the most fun, exciting and interesting things I have ever done. Seeing those beautiful corals, and swimming among the fish like you were one of them was truly amazing.

A side effect of the water, or fish, or corals or the sun (take your pick) was that I had a pretty bad allergic reaction/sun-burn on my last day there. I had weird looking boils all over my face and down my back - which made me look like the second coming of Frankenstein. I visited the doctor on our arrival back to KL who gave me a couple of pills and some gel to apply to the affected spots. They cleared up in a couple days, but for that time, I had locked myself in the house - too conscious to go out - even to the local grocery store.

So anyways, the trip, up until Tuesday evening was god fun. Then came family - first my mother's sister, and then my cousin sister (with 2/3 of her kids in tow). Their arrival played a bit of party pooper. I guess meeting them after all this time was fun too - but I think I would have enjoyed it more had we been alone - just for four of us. We didn't do much after Tuesday - some shopping, some sightseeing, some talking and then some more shopping. Anyways, it was a pretty long trip (I was there for a total of 9 days) so I guess I couldn't have expected all those days to be as rosy as the first few.

One of the things that I was looking forward to the most was seeing my brother after a while. I had this notion (perhaps misguided) that we'd be the same as we were back in Austin - when he was living w/ me for a couple of months. That didn't end up happening. We were squabbling often, didn't talk all that much, I was regularly pissed at him and in general was not enjoying this time together as much as I did our time in Austin. Perhaps that notion that our relationship had changed was wrong - or maybe I was just looking at it through rose tinted glasses - either way, I was hoping for a ecstatic reunion, but it ended up being less than that.

Well, in anycase, the trip was an overall success - it was nice having all 4 of us together, after quiet a long time - and given the prospect that it'll probably be just as long before we are together again, I guess it was one to cherish.

So...things have been happening

Well, not really. Things have been pretty much the same since my last post - work, home, sleep and work again. Not to say I'm a workaholic - it's just that I don't have much else to do. Well, that's not exactly true either, but I'm being a bit lazy about working on something I thought up during my trip to Ooty.

Another thing in the motions is Ayush and mines' trip to KL. It's our mother's 50'th birthday on the coming Sunday, so we both reach there on Saturday morning (there were no convenient flights reaching KL on Sunday morning). Sshhh about that though - it's supposed to be a surprise. So, anyways, we reach there on Saturday and will hopefully go out somewhere (papa's supposed to be planning something). Then family (my sister with 2 of her 3 kinds, and my aunt) arrive, rather un-fortuitously on Wednesday. That's a whole other story that I'd rather not get into.

So, this whole trip thing has got me excited (what's new right??). But what's odd is that the source (well on an existential level anyways) of this happiness is different than usual. Usually, I'm just happy about getting away from wherever I am. Getting a break from the status quo - the daily routine. But this time around, I'm actually happy about being and meeting with my folks and my brother. That to me is very abnormal - these things have never really excited me, made me look forward to the events with great anticipation, as I am doing now. I guess my co-worker Ravi put it best - we realise that we derive pleasure from sources we didn't know existed, as we grow older.

Anyways, that's for this post - not much to talk about - but there you have it.

A (rare) thank you to my parents

Not much to report on - the django bit is going well, as is learning some more python. Both are quiet entertaining too, I might add. Work is slow as ever. Life is slow as ever.

I was thinking about my folks the other day. I do complain about them - and most of those complains aren't baseless - they can be corroborated. But one thing I have to commend them on, and more than that, thank them for is never leaving us hanging. I mean this in general terms, but in this specific instance, I am talking about the financial support they have always given us. I am not talking about them paying our way through high school or college (in my opinion, that is a parent's responsibility - to pay for at-least 4 years of education post high-school - I plan to be ready for that) but of their extra curricular support. All through college, I never had to worry about having too little money, or not doing something I wanted to do, or not enjoying the most of college that I could - because I knew that if I were ever in trouble, my folks would be there - like a pillar - to always support me. Even now, when I moved to India and didn't have too much money to do and buy everything I wanted, they never hesitated to give me all that I asked for - and more. And I personally feel that I've been shameless about asking them to buy me things that I didn't really need, things that were pure luxury - like a new car. Yet they never hesitated, never made me think that I was asking for too much, that I was asking for something that wasn't meant for me.

And to actually broaden on this, both my parents have played the role of support structures to perfection. You know what they say about being around your parents - it makes you feel like a kid. Some people don't have that feeling, but I still do, and while I complain and give myself a hard time about allowing that, deep inside me, somewhere hidden, it gives me great comfort - I like feeling like a kid, feeling that my parents are always there - to take care of everything - fix everything (I might be overdoing this a little - to the point of making myself look like a mama's boy or some-such, but this is just to give an idea).

I remember when I first went to college, among other things, my dad told me this - always remember, there are very few problems that cannot be solved with money. I still hold that to heart - and I thank the gods that I have him, nay them, around to always support me in such times.

Visit to Mysore - Day 2

I described the first day of our trip to Mysore here. Now to talk about our second day. We got up kinda late - I got up around 8am. Did the regular morning duties, got dressed up, waited for Manu B and Shilpa B and headed down for breakfast, which was exhorbitantly priced and so, instead, we decided to check out, head out to the "city" center, grab a bite to eat and then go for some shopping - since the ladies were adamant about it. We had a buffet breakfast for Rs. 45 - not the best in the world, but it filled our stomachs - and then headed out to some store fronts. Bhabhi wanted to buy a table for her house, while Ma wanted to buy some stuff for hers. After wandering through a couple of handicraft emporiums, we ended up going about 2kms away from where we had our breakfast, to the official Govt. of Karnataka store.

That place was huge. They had clothes (and rolls of cloth to make clothes from) on the ground floor and the handicraft stuff on the first floor. We initially ended up going to the first floor where those guys took almost 1.5 hours to buy all they needed (I would describe the place, but it was like a run of the mill handicraft emporium you see in India). We then headed down where another 45 minutes or so were spent sifting through clothes. By the time we were done with all this, it was close to 1pm so we decided to head back to Bangalore.

I forgot to add that by now, Manu B and I were sick, We were both having trouble swallowing stuff, my nose was running and both of us were generally feeling pretty drained out. Nonetheless, the ladies decided to stop by at a place called Srirangapatna to see some historic parks/monuments built by Tipu Sultan. Though we never ended up going inside any of these, we drove past them and saw some lush green gardens inside. We did, however, stop at the Sangam of Kaveri. That was pretty tight. The water was nice and fresh, there wasn't too big a crowd and the view was pretty spectacular. A pretty serene place - one where I would want to have a house some day.

Anyway, that was the end of our trip. From there on out, we slept while bhabhi drove and ma talked till we reached the outskirts of B'lore. When we did finally reach there (~5pm) we decided to take the Hosur road - a new highway which connects the outskirts to the main city. It started off pretty well - it was quiet, had a good road, had entry and exit ramps, was away from everything and hence did not have people crossing from any-which-where and was in general a pleasure to drive on. Up until where the road ended. And beyond that, was nothing. No directions, no half broken road nor anybody to tell you which way to go. All there was, was a mud track, not even suitable for rally driving, with big stones and huge holes leading to nowhere (as far as I could see). Bhabhi was driving initially, and hence the underneath of the car got banged up pretty well, until Manu B took over. He drove more cautiously, and somehow or the other got us the hell out of there and onto a main (and I use that word liberally) road which we followed all the way back to their house. By the time we reached there, we were all pretty tired and I was royally pissed about that last part of the journey. I mean, how hard is it to tell people at the toll booths (which were manned, BTW) that this road leads nowhere, and that you're much better off taking the regular road into town. Also, why give directions to various parts of town when you know the road doesn't connect to them. If we hadn't had directions to a place close to our house, we would have taken a long past exit.

Anyway, to sum up the trip, it was pretty nice - though it didn't end quiet as well as it could have. Mysore was a nice place to visit - an enjoyable, quaint and nascent town. I have no doubt that soon it will be built up and busy just like B'lore - and that's just as well for the residents - but for us travellers, it will be a shame.

An ode to my brother

My brother recently celebrated (or maybe not) his 22'nd birthday and I realized that I haven't ever written about him. So here goes.

He's been the kind who was always troublesome. Well, to me anyways. He would pick fights with me, trouble me no end, take sides against me and in general be a royal pain in the ass. This was back when we were kids. All this changed when we both went off to college.

I guess I matured first - I had a year's headstart. He followed soon though. He went to college, didn't have the easiest of times there (IMO anyways) but he came out better for it. I guess the distance between the two of us (not seeing each other everyday) helped with the process of not fighting, and having shit to talk about when we did, too.

Anyways, towards the last year of my college and his last two years, we became kinda close - maybe for the first time. Various things bound us - our complains about our parents, our choice in women, discussions about politics, discussions about classes, looking for a job, etc. etc. We used to sit and talk on the phone for hours - like chicks or some shit, and not feel sorry for it (well, at-least I didn't feel sorry). Even when he came and lived with me for a couple of months after finishing up school, there were hardly any times when we fought. We were like the picture postcard of a happy family - one who talked, one who enjoyed each other's company, one who quarreled but it let it go soon, one who liked to eat the same things and the list goes on. Suffice it to say, we both had a good time during those 2 months.

All this is not to say that we haven't had our differences over this period. I was hugely disappointed with my trip to his college before I flew out to India. I wanted it to be memorable (given that I didn't know if/when I would come back) which it didn't end up being (and I mostly blame him for it). We also disagreed over our emotions for our parents. This list could go on for a mile, but none of that matters as much - we have overcome all that for the past few years - and I think we will keep doing so for the next few too (what happens beyond that is anybody's guess).

When I was younger, I used to tell my folks that I wish I didn't have a younger brother, or that I wish I had a sister, or that I wish they had waited longer before having a second child, and I used to believe all what I said back then, too. However, I would not change what I have right now, for the world (though I would still like to have a sister). He has taught me innumerable things, he has guided me in innumerable ways and him being around has pleased me in unmeasurable quantities. So, Mon frère, live a long and happy life - and I hope we be just as good friends in our twilight years, as we are now. Happy Birthday.

A nice time in KL

I got back from visiting KL last night, and it has to be said, it was one of the best visits I've had with my folks. Primarily 'cause there was no fighting or squabbling involved, but also probably because I was waiting to get out of Bangalore, and these past 5 days provided an excellent outlet.

We didn't do much, just went out of town on thursday to a "resort" which had various themed parts. One was french (which really wasn't) while another was Japanese. The latter was quiet impressive. We got to see a traditional Japanese house, where a women was sitting all dressed up in her Kimono. We had the option to go get some tea in traditional Japanese style but I refused (I have issues with people just attending to me - I don't like too much attention I guess). The rest of the days were spent shopping, driving within the city, or otherwise just hanging at home.

Which brings me to another point - my folks now have one of the sweetest pads I have seen in my life. It sits on the 16'th floor, overlooking the city and the hills in the background. The house is spacious, which helps with their surround sound TV. The kitchen is probably bigger than my living room. They also seem to be happier than before. I have never seen my dad this chirpy, or my mom as merry (what with her dancing and singing and all that). I had thought that with all the stress that accompanies managing the audit work for 25 countries, my dad would be stressed out beyond recognition, but, it was the opposite. He seemed calm, happy and was enjoying the things he did. Maybe he was the same back in The Hague/Geneva, but I have to say he was noticeably more perky this time around.

Finally, on a somber note, my laptop charger went for a toss out there. The first day was fine, but the second day, while I was setting it up, I heard a distinctive noise, which, as soon as I had heard it, I knew what had happened. I was worried that maybe the laptop itself had lost it's abilities to charge (:)), but fortunately, it was only the charger that had fucked up. So now I have to go buy a new one, or get this one fixed. On the plus side though, it allows me to start reading again, which I have wanted to do for a long time. So, I picked up a bunch of books from my folks place and have started the process off with reading Memoirs of a Geisha. That is what my next post will be about.

I've had something to look forward to

I'm going to KL next Wednesday (~6 days from now) and that has kept me a little more chirpy than usual for the last few days. See, I have had something to look forward to.

That has been my complain with a "work life" always - it doesn't give you anything to look forward to (well, maybe interesting projects but nothing else) whereas while in school, you always had something to look forward to. Vacations - Winter, Spring, Summer, holidays in-between, finals etc. etc. There was no shortage of interesting things to do within the confines of college. It, unfortunately, isn't so in the working world :(.

Anyways, I'll be flying out to KL on Tuesday night/Wednesday early morning. Be there for 5 days. Should be an interesting trip. Papa has bought an Audi, so I'll get to check it out. They have also moved into the new crib which was pretty nice when I saw it last time. I will hopefully also go see some places in Malaysia, plus the FOOD - oh the heavenly food. I LUVZ the Asian cuisine, and as you can imagine, Malaysia has no shortage of it.

On the other hand, it can end up being a trip from hell too. After all, I am going to see my folks. Those meets have not always gone well in the past. There will always be things to argue about - mundane things like wear this shirt, not that one - or go work out for the 5 days you are here etc. etc. My money is on the trip landing up somewhere in the middle. There will obviously be some highly frustrating fights, and then there will be some genuinely pleasurable moments. Sadly, only time will tell.